Cheeky lies your employer tells you

Scanlas The 2nd

I work for a multinational financial services company, they announced recectly that there would be no wage increases in Ireland. However, a colleague of mine told me she got a raise and I've heard rumours of a couple others getting wage increases.

What blatant lies have you been told by your employer?

El Weirdo

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

I work for a multinational financial services company, they announced recectly that there would be no wage increases in Ireland. However, a colleague of mine told me she got a raise and I've heard rumours of a couple others getting wage increases.

What blatant lies have you been told by your employer?

Or what blatant lies have you been told by your work colleagues?

chin_grin

"We'll be fine."


Fired two weeks later due to lack of money.

neilthefunkeone

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

What blatant lies have you been told by your employer?

"You're a valuable member of the team"

discus

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

I work for a multinational financial services company, they announced recectly that there would be no wage increases in Ireland. However, a colleague of mine told me she got a raise and I've heard rumours of a couple others getting wage increases.

What blatant lies have you been told by your employer?

I remember working in an MNC a few years ago. One lady was told her job was secure... 2 days later, at a huge staff meeting, they announced all from her section (only 2 people in her section including her) was being let go.

Middle aged lady with a family. Heartless bastards. I felt like burning down the building that day, to spite the *****.

stupidusername

told before I took on wpp that i'd be given a paid job after the 6 months.

chin_grin

discus wrote: »

I remember working in an MNC a few years ago. One lady was told her job was secure... 2 days later, at a huge staff meeting, they announced all from her section (only 2 people in her section including her) was being let go.

Middle aged lady with a family. Heartless bastards. I felt like burning down the building that day, to spite the *****.

Do you own a red stapler perchance?

Micky Dolenz

"Bend over, I just need to check for the medical, everyone has to do it."

Screaminmidget

neilthefunkeone wrote: »

"Your a valuable member of the team"

*You're :P

Was once told we were going to be closed for a week for refurbishing or something, got called in on the tuesday

discus

chin_grin wrote: »

Do you own a red stapler perchance?

I don't get it?

But no, I didn't own a stapler...!

pickarooney

"Most of our clients are really nice people"

prinz

discus wrote: »

I don't get it?

But no, I didn't own a stapler...!

http://rlv.zcache.com/office_space_stapler_tshirt-p235272626573200139q6v8_400.jpg


Mumble... mumble my stapler mumble I said don't touch my stapler..mumble mumble burn this pace down.....mumble

Guill

We appreciate the work you do.

FatherLen

you'll love it here...

chin_grin

prinz wrote: »

http://rlv.zcache.com/office_space_stapler_tshirt-p235272626573200139q6v8_400.jpg


Mumble... mumble my stapler mumble I said don't touch my stapler..mumble mumble burn this pace down.....mumble

Yep. Watch this: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0151804/

looky loo

'If you have a problem with a customer, go tell the line manager, she will back you up' pfffttttttt...

Sykk

I had my annual review 2 months ago and asked for a pay increase as I'm not getting paid enough for the work I do. At the time my boss said she'd have an answer for me soon.

Lollipops23

"People in this office tend to run things themselves- they won't need to ask you too much!"

Fúck me was that a lie....amazed most of these people can tie their own shoes...

CardBordWindow

'This is a priority!'

After busting my ass to get it complete, it's still sitting on her desk 3 weeks later!:mad:

mikemac

If you have any issues, approach HR and they will help

Hah, the company pays HR's wages and if there is a dispute between me and the company, HR will hang me rather then help me. Probably take what I say in confidence and pass it straight to management
They know who signs their appraisals and writes their wage slips and it isn't lowly me

blaze1

There is a lot of room for progression

TouchingVirus

"We're doing technologically advanced things here, cutting edge stuff."

krudler

"we're all mad here, loads of staff nights out one every month"

We've had 3 in the 4 years I've been here not including the big xmas night

Samich

I'm afraid we'll have to let you go. They were joking.

krudler

Samich wrote: »

I'm afraid we'll have to let you go. They were joking.

did you work for David Brent?

Rubecula

With the new computer system work will be so much easier and there will be no more wasting paper.

(2 for the price of one on the lying stakes there.)

The computer system makes three times the amount of work and we are going through a Brazilian rainforest a week.

Rabidlamb

"Other staff have had a reduction in salary but we're leaving you where you are"

foxyboxer

TouchingVirus wrote: »

"We're doing technologically advanced things here, cutting edge stuff."

Jeez, even Cyberdyne Systems want to avail of our low corporation tax!





:cool:

Ghandee

I won't be in today cos errr.... I'm sick?

Wait a minute..........

mattjack

all the power is off...those circuits are dead

wandatowell

mattjack wrote: »

all the power is off...those circuits are dead

ouch?

stephen_k

Not so much a lie as an ommission at the interview stage that they were all a complete shower of c*nts....



*resulting in me walking into office after 6 months, throwing keys to company car, laptop, phone back at them and walking out.... best feeling in the world until reality of situation hit*

mattjack

wandatowell wrote: »

ouch?

:)nope Mr mattjack has 20 plus years as an electrician.........

fearbainne

On site at a new job - "We'll have work here for about six months i reckon"

Next week - Liquidation

biko

"There's no office politics here"
"My door is always open"

Caveman1

Worked for a big company with only a few offices in Ireland but loads in england, we were told they couldn't afford to contribute towards an xmas party, the next month we got the company news letter and it showed all the bosses from England had a big day out free drink and food for them and all their family, assholes

MugMugs

You've got fantastic tits and ass Mr MugMugs.