Children of divorce are born ‘losers’ claims bishop

El Siglo

Many children from broken homes are born "losers" and so deprived of love that they grow up to be dysfunctional adults, according to a Catholic bishop.

Bishop of Elphin Christopher Jones said that during his 17 years working in social services in Sligo he had seen the damage wrought on children as a result of marriage breakdown.

The bishop, who is president of the Catholic marriage care service Accord, stressed that he was not criticising single parents, many of whom were making "heroic efforts".

But he insisted that "the greatest good" would "come ultimately from the family in marriage".

Speaking to the Irish Independent yesterday, Bishop Jones said the breakdown of married life could result in social unrest and even violence.

He said the risk to society from the disintegration of family life was not simply the church's view but was backed by extensive social research.

He acknowledged that some marriages broke down "for unavoidable reasons" and that in those cases, "compassion ought to be our overriding response".

The bishop said that during his time in social services, in the late 1960s and early 1970s, he worked closely with families who, for the first time, found themselves isolated on newly built estates, without the support of their wider family circle.

"The husband was away all day and the mother was left with the children," he said. In many cases he saw, children were born into a family that was not secure and they were denied love at an early stage.

"Many of them were born losers. They had no start in life in terms of a loving relationship," he said, adding that in his experience, children who were denied love at an early age were "denied a sense of self-esteem and self-worth".

"They grow up disturbed and dysfunctional," he added.

"When a culture of marriage weakens, an ever-growing number of children will never experience the inestimable value of being raised by a loving, married mother and father," he said.

"This is not to say that children cannot thrive outside of the marital family but if we really value childhood, then we must do what we can to try and ensure that children are raised by the fathers and mothers who bring them into the world."

Equality

Bishop Jones stressed that it should not be left to church leaders alone to promote the preservation of family life and called on politicians to do more.

Speaking just one day after 5,000 people marched in favour of marriage equality for same sex marriage, Bishop Jones said that giving same-sex marriage the same status would "undermine marriage in my view".

He said in the eyes of the Catholic Church, same-sex cohabitation was not marriage and it "never" could be. "Marriage is life-giving and between a man and woman," he said.

Since 2008, Accord has seen a year-on-year increase in the demand for marriage/relationship counselling, with 43,627 hours provided last year -- the highest figure on record.

[Link to the article]

Same old Catholic Church view on everything. You'd think that bishops would have learned to keep quiet, considering all that's gone on over the last fifteen years?

What do the rest of ye think?

FatherLen

i think he is a knob-end....

W.Shakes-Beer

Does the bishop have kids?

Bishop Brennan?

CardBordWindow

The children of bishops are born..........

What the hell would a bishop know about having kids.

Clear off and shut up

Richard Hillman

I dont think its as bad as thinking some drug dealer that went around doing magic tricks 2000 years ago is the son of god.

tallaghtmick

dysfunctional adults......much like the priests who rape:rolleyes:

Bipolar Joe

bluewolf wrote: »

What the hell would a bishop know about having kids.

Depends on how you use the word "Having".

Blazer

As much as I hate the church etc I think he's actually right although I don't agree with his use of the word "losers"
How many kids are affected by their parents divorce etc which causes them emotional issues further on down the line?
I think it's pretty basic what he says,, kids in happy families will grow up to be happy and so on...
kids in broken down marriages etc often take their negative feelings from it into their own relationships when growing up..

syklops

dysfunctional adults,

A man who does not want to sleep with women(or men), get married(or form a partnership), have kids, and prefers the company of other men who dont want the same, is my definition of a dysfunctional adult.

As others have said, what would a catholic priest know about kids, marriage or divorce? As Billy Connelly said, if you want to build a boat, you dont go to an ice-cream maker, do you?

mikemac

When did the Indo turn from a decent paper to tabloid headlines. The headline doesn't represent the article

Losers as in missing out and not experiencing everything that other children have
Not losers as in failures and destined to a bad life

TiGeR KiNgS

It is a proven fact that an overwhelming majority of criminals come from single parent families though.

As for the bishops and the Catholic church , does anyone really take any notice to these people anymore ?
Everything in that article is what i would expect him to say.

born2bwild

El Siglo wrote: »

[Link to the article]

Same old Catholic Church view on everything. You'd think that bishops would have learned to keep quiet, considering all that's gone on over the last fifteen years?

What do the rest of ye think?

Well, marriage breakdown is likely to have a negative effect on children. He may have a point - step back from the offensiveness of the word 'loser' and take it as a purely descriptive term: children whose parents break up do and can lose in lots of ways.

As for his point about same - sex marriage - he's wrong. The sex and sexual orientation of parents is irrelevant - how loving and responsible they are is the key.

Overall, I find it hard to listen to these sky pilots.

Look, Bishop Jones, there's a crude drawing of a Bishop on the skirting board, bend over and look closely....

NTMK

Bishop against divorce and gay marriage

What a shocker:rolleyes:

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

its not like he's ****ing wrong
jesus christ people, if he says that jesus is returning, that crackers turn to human flesh or that abstinence is good for you then by all means jump down his throat. If he said water was wet you'd have the usual suspects here arguing that it wasn't his place to say, maybe water was dry and born that way.

AlmightyCushion

Divorce is far more damaging to a child then the odd bit of harmless kiddie fiddling, everyone knows that.

TiGeR KiNgS

TiGeR KiNgS wrote: »

It is a proven fact that an overwhelming majority of criminals come from single parent families though.

They also all eat bread :eek::eek:

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar wrote: »

its not like he's ****ing wrong

Calling children losers is wrong, I don't give a damn who said it

TiGeR KiNgS

The church has been 'out of touch' for the last 20 years I suppose.

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

he said they were losers, as in not winners not losers as in stoners or vegetarians.

willow tree

they never cease to amaze me with their pearls of wisdom...
i'm from such a family and there is a lot of pain with divorce but way more with a couple that stay together in dysfunction.. love and honesty are really important for children. anyways, as others have said what would he know, seriously.. to say that and ignore what the church has done- now theres a world of dysfunction:rolleyes:
oh and im a winner, how very dare he:cool:

Buceph

****ty article from a tabloid paper.

Preaching nonsense to forward an agenda from the most dispicable institution in Ireland.

El Siglo

To be honest, I consider anything the RCC says to be equivalent of what 'models' say in the Sindo, worthless drivel. However, a celibate man with no wife or partner is in absolutely no position to make any of the statements he's made, this one really grinds my gears;

Bishop Jones stressed that it should not be left to church leaders alone to promote the preservation of family life and called on politicians to do more.

They had the power once, they had their "special place" in the Constitution. It corrupted, they're not getting a second bite of the cherry.

PinkFly

As if I dont have enuf to be worrying about my son growing up,then listening to shíté from a man who gets his cleaning done, his meals made for him and doesnt have to worry where money has to come in. Id love for him to come into my home and tell me my son doesnt get enough love and he is a loser..... Times change.. Move on

maudgonner

You would think that bishops would finally cop on and learn to keep their mouths shut instead of preaching to us - judge not lest ye be judged and all that.

However I do agree with some of what he said, it's overly simplistic in the way that Catholic church statements usually are, but there can be little doubt that the more stable and loving an environment a child is raised in, the better it is for them. (I don't agree that marriage is the only way to achieve a stable loving home however, and certainly not only the type of marriages that the church sanctions).

And I agree with Mikemac, that headline is completely sensational tabloidism, almost to the point of misrepresenting the content of the statement.

El Siglo

TiGeR KiNgS wrote: »

The church has been 'out of touch' for the last 2000 years I suppose.

FYP.

allanb49

Sc@recrow wrote: »

As much as I hate the church etc I think he's actually right although I don't agree with his use of the word "losers"
How many kids are affected by their parents divorce etc which causes them emotional issues further on down the line?
I think it's pretty basic what he says,, kids in happy families will grow up to be happy and so on...
kids in broken down marriages etc often take their negative feelings from it into their own relationships when growing up..

Howdy Mr Scarecrow,


My parents split up when i was about 6 or 7, Divorced about 3 years later,

I have no contact with my father who for all intents and purposes abandoned my mother, sister and myself. Emotionally i'd like to think i have a healthy mental state.

If my father had stayed around, i think that would have been more damaging as he was an alcoholic and drug user.

Think about the amount of people "who stay together for the kids" resent each other don't talk and are very distant and constantly fight over which is the better parent?

Is that not more detrimental to a childs development.

Who's better mommy or daddy?

born2bwild

bluewolf wrote: »

They also all eat bread :eek::eek:



Calling children losers is wrong, I don't give a damn who said it

But some children are born losers. It's wrong. But it's also true.

I don't think the fool was name calling - just describing reality.

TiGeR KiNgS

El Siglo wrote: »

FYP.

you missed the pun, I feel awkward now :pac:

mikemac

I reckon a few here read just the headline and not the article before posting

mackg

Buceph wrote: »

****ty article from a tabloid paper.

Preaching nonsense to forward an agenda from the most dispicable institution in Ireland.

disagree with the sentiments of what he said but that article is does not seem to be for the purpose of forwarding the churches agenda, looks more like a thinly veiled swipe at them knowing that public opinion of them is at an all time low.

El Siglo

TiGeR KiNgS wrote: »

you missed the pun, I feel awkward now :pac:

Yeh out of touch, touching kids... Well not according to the Cloyne Report. Number of years without child abuse: 20 10.

TiGeR KiNgS

El Siglo wrote: »

Yeh out of touch, touching kids... Well not according to the Cloyne Report. Number of years without child sex abuse: 20 10.

did u read the report ? no physical sex abuse in it, 20 stands

El Siglo

TiGeR KiNgS wrote: »

did u read the report ? no physical sex abuse in it, 20 stands

I stand corrected.

Nhead

mikemac wrote: »

I reckon a few here read just the headline and not the article before posting

I reckon the church opens it's mouth before thinking hence the ****e it spouts.

Sykk

Another delusional bunch of crap from the church. I'm looking forward to seeing them wither away.

Nhead

Oh it is PC gone mad I tells ya PC gone mad and the nasty secular media...

bluto63

For once I don't think a bishop is talking out of his arse here, until he f*cks up the end using this as a chance to bash homosexual equality again. But as stated, holding on to something that's not there is going to damage the child far more in the long run, leaving no one in the family happy. Give it a go, by all means, but don't do the 'stay together for the kids' routine.

PinkFly

bluto63 wrote: »

For once I don't think a bishop is talking out of his arse here, until he f*cks up the end using this as a chance to bash homosexual equality again. But as stated, holding on to something that's not there is going to damage the child far more in the long run, leaving no one in the family happy. Give it a go, by all means, but don't do the 'stay together for the kids' routine.

Why? do you think people just don't bother trying?

Zillah

Whatever else about the debate, I want to know how legalizing gay marriage will impact straight marriage. This is a point I have never seen any conservative answer convincingly.

stovelid

I think the people that are lining up to point out that bishops don't have kids don't realise that unless they themselves have kids they are equally disqualified from comment.

His remarks are tactless and, as a Catholic, too marriage focused but it is essentially true that a lot of kids are affected by their parents splitting up.

Which would be a far better topic of discussion than another hundred pages of sophomoric ire about atheism and clerics.

Siuin

Jesus' mom and dad didn't live together, and he turned out just fine...

As a divorced parent I think a lot of that is offensive.

But


The way I see it is...coming from a loving home where you had parent who had a loving supportive marriage, where you were supported, loved and giving boundaries is the best start in life for anyone and there is no point in saying otherwise.

However that doesn't mean if you come from a divorced family you will grow up with problem.

Siuin

I wonder how the bishop feels about women who have escaped their abusive partners...

1hnr79jr65

The Roman Catholic Church. Led by a Nazi, protector of paedophiles, pillager of others wealth, the most corrupt, self absorbed, stupidly rich entity in existance and still they crave control of peoples lives and to empty their pockets in name of god. Oh and they supported the extermination of the jews in WW2 and helped Ratzinger's..... i mean Benedicts buddies escape to argentina.

Cleary they have all the right views for family and social life :rolleyes:

mackg

The bishop said that during his time in social services, in the late 1960s and early 1970s, he worked closely with families who, for the first time, found themselves isolated on newly built estates, without the support of their wider family circle.

"The husband was away all day and the mother was left with the children," he said. In many cases he saw, children were born into a family that was not secure and they were denied love at an early stage.

"When a culture of marriage weakens, an ever-growing number of children will never experience the inestimable value of being raised by a loving, married mother and father," he said.

"This is not to say that children cannot thrive outside of the marital family but if we really value childhood, then we must do what we can to try and ensure that children are raised by the fathers and mothers who bring them into the world."

So a family where one parent is away at work is the same as divorced parents in the problems it creates? So children can thrive outside of the marital envoironment? This guy is all over the place, the only thing he is clear about is the anti-gay marriage at the end. this looks like a long speech that was heavily butchered to suit whoever wrote the article.

mikemac

What's this led by a Nazi crap?

He was a boy, he was forced to join by law.
Did you expect a boy to join resistance fighters or maybe get across the border to Switzerland?

Buceph

mackg wrote: »

disagree with the sentiments of what he said but that article is does not seem to be for the purpose of forwarding the churches agenda, looks more like a thinly veiled swipe at them knowing that public opinion of them is at an all time low.

Nah, I meant that article was written in a ****ty tabloid way. And the priest was spouting nonsense to forward a despicable institutions agenda, i.e. the church's. The priest's sermon was crap on it's own. The article adds to the amount of general crapness. Altogether, it's a pile of crap.

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

Siuin wrote: »

Jesus' mom and dad didn't live together, and he turned out just fine...

he founded a cult, refused to get a worthwile job and ended up dead in his early thirties

Liam Byrne

I think he is largely correct in what he says.

The problem is that when it comes to pointing out what psychologically damages kids, the catholic church doesn't have a leg to stand on, and so should SFTU.

It's a bit like the local drug dealer telling you that cigarettes are bad for you.

Siuin

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar wrote: »

he founded a cult, refused to get a worthwile job and ended up dead in his early thirties

But a Good Jewish Boy

inforfun

For once it is shoot the messenger, not the message.