I HATE ANTS!

CardBordWindow

I'm just after having a shower. I was after drying myself off and in the process of tying the towel around my waist when I felt a sharp pain in a place I really don't like pain. Dropped the towel to see an ant at the end of my penis!! Little b*stard stung me right on the foreskin!!

Anyone else have stories of stings/bites in unusual places??

pebbles21

"And thats how i got the big wart on my penis darling,i swear to you!!!"

Canis Lupus

To be pedantic it bit you. You just got an ant BJ.

FunkZ

I've never been bitten by anything like that but I'm a cautious muthatrucka when it comes to bugs...

I saw an earwig today and had Usain Bolt been beside me when I saw it I would have destroyed him in the 100 metre sprint just to get away from the thing...

Earwigs

joshrogan

I've never seen them in Ireland.

tallaghtmick

He prob thought your mickey was a ant-eater and attacked......count yourself lucky you hung bastard:p

cocoshovel

They don't bite you, they piss acid on you. You should have pissed on him too, get revenge!

Toby Take a Bow

There's ants everywhere in my garden, but they've never managed to find their way into my bathroom, onto my towel and then to bite my dick.

Your ants seem very, very intelligent (or very, very stupid).

dirtypanties

I am a serial killer of wasps today-3 and counting..why is there so many of the fecking things in my house?!!!

pebbles21

cocoshovel wrote: »

They don't bite you, they piss acid on you. You should have blasted him with piss, get revenge!

FYP

the keen edge

Find their ant colony and then destroy it with human p!ss.

Sky King

The ant people have established a kingdom in the garden outside my gaf.

I am all about live and let live, me, but if they start getting fresh with me I am going to use my superior human intellect to destroy their empire.

the keen edge

Sky King wrote: »

The ant people have established a kingdom in the garden outside my gaf.

I am all about live and let live, me, but if they start getting fresh with me I am going to use my superior human intellect to destroy their empire.

I read this as blast them with p!ss.

Sky King

Have we finally found a query which Blast them with Piss is actually a genuine solution to?

JONJO THE MISER

Best thing for them is a kettle of boilling hot water in there nest:cool:

pragmatic1

Be thankful you arent circumcised.

CardBordWindow

pragmatic1 wrote: »

Be thankful you arent circumcised.

Thank Christ for that!! It's fair itchy now!!

Temptamperu

Ants are amazing creatures... shame you had to come across the pervert of the nest :pac:

emilyjmc

Horrible, horrible creatures. Especially the winged variety - they give me the heebie jeebies! I actually just shuddered thinking about the winged ones

Wertz

BBC2 now.

Ants will take over the planet.

Mess fightin' when I was a youngster with my cousin and whilst being held down several ants managed to sting me in and around the eye (there was a nest in the ground)...looked like I'd taken one from Tyson afterwards. Still love the wee feckers. How can you hate such a simple creature that manages to achieve so much?

CardBordWindow

Wertz wrote: »

BBC2 now.

Ants will take over the planet.

Mess fightin' when I was a youngster with my cousin and whilst being held down several ants managed to sting me in and around the eye (there was a nest in the ground)...looked like I'd taken one from Tyson afterwards. Still love the wee feckers. How can you hate such a simple creature that manages to achieve so much?

How can I hate such a creature?? See my original post!!

Wertz

They bit you on the lad? If it was something with actual teeth I could see your point.

...anyway, make the most of the situation that the added swelling provides...shout "waaahey ladies look at this for a todger" whilst showing it to passing females. Or sell the true secrets to penis enlargement on the internet...that's a real moneymaker.

Eroticfishcake

Pics??

Captain Darling

Dont go to the bog OP. Ants the size of your fist. They'd take your knob off. Srsly.

Micky Dolenz

dirtypanties wrote: »

I am a serial killer of wasps today-3 and counting..why is there so many of the fecking things in my house?!!!

True sign summer is over. Temperature us dropping so they try to find warmer air. Bet they were really lazy too, dying.

Toby Take a Bow

Wertz wrote: »

BBC2 now.

Ants will take over the planet.

That was a very interesting programme. Thanks!

splendid101

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

True sign summer is over. Temperature us dropping so they try to find warmer air. Bet they were really lazy too, dying.

Wasps come into your house in August because there source of food is gone - so they look for alternatives. See the 1st answer below

http://www.guardian.co.uk/notesandqueries/query/0,,-185228,00.html

/Nerdy pedantic post mode over.

RuailleBuaille

Speaking of ants, have I missed the swarming day? I really hope so.

Stinicker

I did an ant genocide a few times this year and stuck a spade into their nest in the garden, upturned it to reveal millions of them, a little sprinkle of Petrol and a match and incinerated them all. Took care of the rest of them with Ant Powder which is a pesticide.

emilyjmc

RuailleBuaille wrote: »

Speaking of ants, have I missed the swarming day? I really hope so.

I think you are in luck - it was swarming day in town about four weeks ago. Oh how I ran!