Please help if anyoneone else in the same situation

sadlady66

Hi.
I have only just signed up as i have been searching the net for help with my issue but cant seem to find anything.(hope im doing it rite)

I own my own house and had a baby.but now the father has walked out leaving me with a mortage to pay and a baby to look after.(we were not married)

I dont no how i will pay for everything.i have a fulltime job but that just is not enough money.Anyone no of any help im entilted to, to support my family i dnt want to loose my home.
Who can i turn to for help
Thanks

tallaghtmick

I take it his name is on the birth cert?If so you can take him to court for payments for the child.

sadlady66

yes his name is on cert.but he has very little money and told me he might be able to give me 50

tallaghtmick

sadlady66 wrote: »

yes his name is on cert.but he has very little money and told me he might be able to give me 50

well I earn very little and still pay 50 AND still see my son,he will cop on soon enough,luckily when I split from my sons mother I knew where my priorities where.....some men take longer than others im afraid.

sadlady66

thanks for all your post.it realy helps to talk to somone as im a strong person i dont want my family to no whats going on.....he had to go due to drink problums.i no me and my baby are better off with out him.my baby comes first.
My mortage is 600 per month plus all the usual bills......

chicken fingers

Is the mortgage just in your name?
Is it something that you can drop?

You might need to rethink things financially.
For example, you don't really own your own home. The bank does, and if you are not keeping up with your payments, after a year you will be out.

Is the house something that you can jettison, and go rent a place?

Ickle Magoo

You should make an appointment with your social welfare office and with your bank ASAP and explain your situation and they will give you any options available to you.

It's tough situation, I wish you all the best.

lost815

chicken fingers wrote: »

For example, you don't really own your own home. The bank does, and if you are not keeping up with your payments, after a year you will be out.

That's just scaremongering, if worst came to worst the bank would accept interest only payments etc, you would not be thrown out of a house if you are making an effort to pay.

sadlady66

Yes the mortage is just in my name.im not behind in payments and i never was.i just want to sort it out before a month comes that i cnt pay.

My house was baught trough the co council.its shared owernership.i wounder wud they be able to help me out???

syklops

600 + bills a month is not a lot, and is completely manageable, if you plan for it.

Dont go to court and get him to pay maintenance. You said you are better off without him. One trade off of him paying maintenance is having him in your life. You dont want that, plus you'll out lay a lot of money now paying lawyers, and take days off work to go to courts, and you may not even get anything out of it.

I just want to sort it out before a month comes that i cnt pay.

It will be rare that a month comes and you cant pay anything. However, we all have tight months with unforseen expenses. so when that month comes, 'borrow' money from other bills to pay the mortgage. As in, instead of paying 40 euro for your internet, pay 20, and put the other 20 towards the mortgage. As soon as you are flush again, pay the internet.

If you were on the PI forum looking to lose weight, posters would tell you to post up what you eat, why not post up what your bills come to, and what they are for? Maybe posters here can give you suggestions for reducing outcome to put towards your mortgage.

Off the top of my head, see if you can reduce your internet speed down to 1 or 2 megs. Look at your sky or cable package, and see if you can go for a smaller package(maybe less sport if your not into it but he was). If you didnt already, maybe switch to airtricity, they seem to be about 15% cheaper than the ESB/Bord Gais.

Try and pay off your credit card ASAP, its a very expensive way of using credit, and the longer you have charges, the longer you have interest on it, which means more interest.

emilyjmc

To be fair €600 + bills is alot depending on circumstances. I expect if you are working you may also need to take into account childcare which can be crippling.

OP - it might seem difficult and awkward but perhaps you would feel some relief should you confide in your family or a close friend. If you are close to your family they will want to know what is going on in your life and help you to deal with hardships.

If the father is earning there is no reason why he should not be providing for his child.

www.citizensinformation.ie seems to have alot of useful information for lone parents - hoping that you are able to find some support to help you at this difficult time

Magicmatilda

Contact Citizens Information.

As far as I know you should get extra tax credits if you are a single parent which could make a substantial difference. Also If he can give you 50 then take it. To be honest you can drag him through the courts but you indicate that he is an alcoholic so it probably won't make a difference, he is too sick to care. I really feel for you, but as you say your are strong and you will manage. I would suggest you need to tell family and friends though. Not telling them is not strong. Strength can also be having the courage to admit somethinghas broken and you need help. And you will need help, physically and emotionally for your sons sake.

Best of luck.