Kissed friend, now living with them - awkward!

LegacyUser

There is a guy that I am friends with about two years. I never felt attracted to him until recently but mutual friends would make jokes and comments that we should be together and that they thought he liked me/I liked him, etc. I do like him as a person, care about him, he is extremely good looking but I never thought too much of it as we didn't seem like each other's types. A few months ago myself, this guy and another friend were supposed to be moving in together to an apartment, that fell through..then he asked if I would move into the place he is in now as someone was moving out there. My rent was expensive and it seemed like a great idea as we get on so well. A few weeks before I was due to move in, we were on a night out with a few friends. He was drinking and I was sober. We were at the bar when he grabbed me and said "I have to do this" and kissed me. I reacted in shock and laughed, then we kissed again. I was shocked at the chemistry and couldn't stop kissing him. He asked me to go home with him, I declined saying it was a bad idea, esp if we were going to be living together. He used diff excuses, he has to show me around house, it'll be fun, things can't be the same with us now, we can't go back, etc...I kissed him goodbye and walked off.The next day he sent me a few jokey texts about making out with me and I replied back jokey as well. We never spoke about it again.
I am now living with him, separate rooms, obviously and I feel like things are awkward between us. We have never brought up that night since in conversation, we haven't gone on one night out or socialized outside living together since that night....it really does feel like things have changed..
I'm really confused at the moment. That night I came to the conclusion that I am attracted to him but didn't want to throw away a friendship on what might have possibly been just one night of sex. I now feel like I like him but he doesn't like me. At the time, a mutual friend thought that he really really liked me and def wanted to be more than friends but if that was the situation, surely he would have brought it up again.......
I don't know what to do as it has now gotten to the stage when we talk in the house, I find myself not giving him full eye contact, running off, etc and I have gotten paranoid thinking...he must know I like him as I kissed him back, sober....and perhaps to him it was just a drunken thing. I guess I just need advice about how to act around him...I'm so nervous about this situation...If he did want to be more than friends, I would be curious to know what might come of it but if it didn't work out I'm wondering if we can ever have the friendship we had before...

LegacyUser

I think you need to bring it up and talk about it. No point waiting for him to as he may not be thinking about it like you are. Your head seems to be wrecked so bring it up.
You like him and I reckon he likes you too. You are wondering if things don't work out you won't get your friendship back well it sounds like you don't have that same friendship now either. SO talk to him about it. See how he feels. I'd go for it too if ye both want it.

tinkerbell

How long ago did this happen? He obviously likes you - it was he who made the first move, especially if this mutual friend of yours says he knows he likes you too ....

What do you have to lose? It sounds to me like your friendship is a bit edgy at the moment as it is because he's probably pussy-footing around you now as he could be feeling awkward thinking you don't like him, and then you're pussy-footing around him. So both of you are being so awkward and trying to avoid one another that your friendship is strained as it is. It's not gonna make a big difference if you go and talk to him about it and tell him you like him. If he says he doesn't feel the same way, well ye can just continue to be awkward or just move on (otherwise this will be wrecking your head all the time) or else he could say yeah and ye could make a go of it.

Life's too short, make a move, show him you're interested, hopefully he'll say yes And let us know how you get on! I have my fingers crossed for you

LegacyUser

The kissing happened about 6 weeks ago, we are living together now about two weeks.
I can't imagine ever talking about it unless I got REALLY drunk. I am very awkward in situations like this. The mutual friend just thinks he likes me, she has always thought that but he never said anything specific to her.
It's not like I want to have this mad serious relationship....but I would not be into being just his **** friend. I have never known him to have a girlfriend in the time I have known him, just one night stands or flings....so don't know if that is all he wanted....then again would someone do that and still want to live with the person?! It's all so confusing

tinkerbell

Well OP, I assume he already knows that you were sober when you kissed him back?

What happens when you bump into each other in the house when you're alone? Are ye all awkward with each other or what? Can you arrange a night out with mutual friends when you both will be there?

Why don't you talk to the mutual friend about it, could she suss it out for you if you are that nervous about approaching him yourself?

Amazotheamazing

Imo, he likes you, he thinks you don't like him and he's trying not to come across like a weirdo now that he lives you. Hell of an awkward situation, tbh, even if ye do end together, it's a big stretch to suddenly live together. I suggest in time honoured Irish tradition that ye get drunk and let nature take it's course. It might end badly but at least it'll be out there.

I am a friend

So am I right - did you agree to movE in together and then kiss after that?

You are in an awkward spot now if that's what happened. I think I wouldn't try to put the kisses to the back of my mind and just get to know him now as a flatmate. Pretty soon you will either fall madly for him or end up not that pushed.

You do need to get a hold on your nerves though or he will just think you are a bit strange. Sit it out, see what you think about him and you will be able to suss out what he thinks too

also, make sure you always look well

LegacyUser

Yea, he asked me to move in and kiss happened after that...that is how it is so awkward...guess you are right, only time will tell:)

I am a friend

currentlyconfused wrote: »

Yea, he asked me to move in and kiss happened after that...that is how it is so awkward...guess you are right, only time will tell:)

and make sure you look great AT ALL TIMES

borabora

He definitely likes you! He probably has some serious fear going on about having made a lunge for you. To have done that in itself is a major sign. "I have to do this" ? I'd say he's liked you for ages. Now the both of you being awkward isn't helping to reduce the awkwardness and so it will continue..go out, get locked and you make the lunge this time!

LegacyUser

Ok so was feeling really hopeful that my friend liked me in a romantic way....turns out that is not the case.

Last night I was out with him and some people me he works with. There was a lot of alcohol involved and the two of us were the two last two left...I asked him about the kiss...(well kisses) and said I hope things aren't awkward between us...he brushed it off saying "we were both drunk, it was what is what". I was a bit taken back. He talked about a new girl he is working with the past few weeks, saying he likes her but nothing has happened between them yet...so I mentioned a guy I had gone on a few dates with ( but just kissed nothing more) and that my ex was back in touch. He made a comment saying if my ex hurts me again he would "kill him". (which was a bit odd). So I thought ahhh we are just friends again.....then we shared a taxi as we now live together now. In the taxi he was holding my hand and then on the way out of it he kissed me. We were making out in his bedroom and I presumed all that talk of seeing/liking other people was to make each other jealous and he did indeed like me.

This next bit I can't really make sense of his actions or mine...
He pulled back from me and said I really like this new girl, with you it's just lust but think it could be more with her. I was so shocked. How could it be lust with me and not with her if he barely knows her? Surely it's another simple case of he's just not that into me?! He said I could sleep with you now but then I want to bring her back here tomorrow and that wouldn't be a nice for you! I never could imagine he could say something like that. I asked him did he ask me to move in coz he thought I could be a **** friend and he got offended. I actually started to cry ( I was drunk but had something really bad happen earlier that day hence me wanting to get so drunk). He hugged me and said let's not let this happen again...we spoke of not wanting to destroy our friendship. I went to my room. He said I was too upset to be sleeping alone and wanted to just sleep beside me ( oh how guilible I am!!!)
We were literally just lying down and chatting for an hour and it was lovely but then.... out of no where we where all over each other and we ended up having sex for about 10 sec...I am not exageratting this - he got out of the bed said he was going to toilet - i thought for condoms and came back and was all argumentative - he came in the room 3 times and walked out each time..saying things like - this is just lust thats all it is, I want that girl - what if you got pregnant?! - said I was the pill ( I am on it since I am 17 due to period pain) and then he didn't believe me saying why would I be on it, something doesn't make sense, etc

I am so hurt by this. This morning he came into my room and hugged me and said "lets put an end to all of this"...not to fight and that we shouldn't let that happen again..again saying "just lust" and he wants to make a go of things with this new girl (he doesn't even know how she feels about him yet). It is all madness and totally unexpected.

I am a friend

Move out!!! He is a brain melt...

Aside from that you need to cut back on the booze if it's leading you to have unprotected sex with someone else that especially after the way he had spoken to you

Firetrap

I certainly wasn't expecting to read that. The only sensible thing to do now is to find somewhere else to live. Whatever friendship ye had is well and truly messed up now.

Karen8

I would agree with others - the best idea so far seems to move out. the time will put everything in its place. At the moment u should think what is best for u. I think u would feel better if u dont need to c him everyday.