arrgh, 12 years and counting

LegacyUser

12 years in ireland, and no luck whatsoever in dating an irish woman. Im not happy with that, and wondering until when I should survive this hopeless hope.

No matter what, I always get rejected, based on looks, not even before you say any word.

what Im missing? Already tried with tens (not into random approachs)

Ickle Magoo

Have you had roaring success with other nationalities?

I'm not sure what advice I can give, there is no magic formula to unlock the mysteries of irish women and make you instantly irresistible to them. If you are having no success then perhaps look at your approach and the kind of women you are approaching and go from there...?

All the best

BraziliaNZ

Right, well, if you're that ugly, maybe try to find a girl who would have serious trouble attracting men too? You may not be that unattractive and it could be a confidence issue. If you are fat and out of shape, maybe try and get in your best possible shape? You could also take a holiday to Thailand. I'm not kidding here, I have friends that can and never will score girls due to their personalities/looks and I advise them this all the time.

LegacyUser

right thanks - to clarify things:

a) Im not ugly, or at least been told im VERY good looking, but obviously look non irish.
b) dress code? I can assure you its my best choice; I work in retail industry
c) lifestyle? well, I believe I can put myself within the very comfortable living society
d) confidence? Im confident enough and I dont deny it sometimes get knocked down due to the rejection
e) approach line? I was never throwing any cheesy or meaningless word. I approach girls (I only like) with all politeness.
d) looking for my average marry who does not attract any guy? I never approached a WOW girl, in fact, they are all average marry when it comes to looks... Looks is 3rd point in the checklist. (related to the fact, and no pun intended, that the percentage of WOW women in my area is very low)

I know the places I approach these women are not the best ever, but what if night and pubs scene is not mine? I only talk to fully sober women - Had many chances to get along with shallow and non of my type women, but never chanced any of them, because I know that they are not the ones I aim for, and it makes no sense to drop them later, just because i wanted an ego boost and sex that night!

Maple

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

Right, well, if you're that ugly, maybe try to find a girl who would have serious trouble attracting men too? You may not be that unattractive and it could be a confidence issue. If you are fat and out of shape, maybe try and get in your best possible shape? You could also take a holiday to Thailand. I'm not kidding here, I have friends that can and never will score girls due to their personalities/looks and I advise them this all the time.

FFS. :rolleyes:

Read the charter before posting again. Another post like that will result in a ban.

Maple

LegacyUser

hi maple

Thats ok, May be he has no intention to offend me, I will just take it easy.. I need an advice at the end of the day

chicken fingers

By your english I would hazard a guess that you are from an islamic country or indian maybe?

The truth (that people will try to deny) is that most Irish girls are not interested in middle eastern men because of a variety of factors. Fair? Hell no, but thats the long and short of it.

LegacyUser

Hi, no Im not muslim (and this is the first time I hear that india is considered middle eastern country) - Im jewish, and originally (or at least born) in germany.

Regardless of my religion and origin, I think you are right about that, its a bit hard on non catholic even.. but is it that wide ranged? because I read and heard everywhere that this applies to a very small amount of irish and it does not reflect a "trend", and i believed in that because it's known that the irish lived everywhere so they are more cultured than other nations because they lived in different places.

lace

It's true the dispersed Irish population living in other countries is huge but this doesn't really make us any more "cultured" than any other nation.

You seem to have all the bases covered in terms of your approach, look, lifestyle etc and you seem to have reasonable expectations. The only thing I can think of is perhaps you're not looking in the right places? Pubs and clubs are difficult places to make any real kind of connection and most of the people who frequent them in search of a partner are only looking for one night stands. Women who go out but aren't actively looking for someone can also get quite annoyed by the stream of guys trying to chat them up so they may be a little hostile towards any efforts.

I think your best bet may be to try to meet people through other activities. Join a local club or charity group which would allow you to meet women in a less stifling environment. You'll be able to get to know lots of women and make new friends and if it turns out one of them is into you then it'll make it that much more worthwhile. I'd also suggest widening your circle of friends and people you socialize with. You may be able to meet women through mutual friends.

If none of those options work out would you consider internet dating?

I don't think your background would put women off at all (though, saying that, many of my friends cannot stand the German accent).

LegacyUser

Lace, Thank you very much for the suggestions, they seem to be very good options. I will google for social activities today and have a look at the most suitable option for me.

I have registered 3 years ago in a dating website, and i was not lucky enough. All ask for photo or from description it says Im german, which kinda puts them down.. or I attract the wrong girls haha.

Our accent man! we use the german tune in the english and you know how its ends up!

Thanks a lot, your suggestion is truly brilliant.

Distorted

arrgh wrote: »

a) Im not ugly, or at least been told im VERY good looking, but obviously look non irish.
b) dress code? I can assure you its my best choice; I work in retail industry
c) lifestyle? well, I believe I can put myself within the very comfortable living society
d) confidence? Im confident enough and I dont deny it sometimes get knocked down due to the rejection
e) approach line? I was never throwing any cheesy or meaningless word. I approach girls (I only like) with all politeness.
d) looking for my average marry who does not attract any guy? I never approached a WOW girl, in fact, they are all average marry when it comes to looks... Looks is 3rd point in the checklist. (related to the fact, and no pun intended, that the percentage of WOW women in my area is very low)

You missed out personality, ability to connect with people and what you like in the woman you ideally want to meet!

I think Lace's suggestions about meeting through interests and sports is greet. I was brought up in a Northern European country too and when I was in Ireland I spent my whole time being a little bit too serious and being told to drink more and lighten up. While its nice to be included, I think Irish people sometimes forget they are only a small country and not everyone is like them! However I suspect for a guy, if you are not good at the banter thing, you might find it difficult to chat up women and possibly come across as a bit serious and square. Women also like being asked about themelves, not regailed with a list of achievements. Is this possible?

As to what you can do about it - tbh I wouldn't go changing my personality but can you work more on getting good at casual lighthearted chat? As for the looks thing, this can sometimes count against you - some women want to be looked after and spoilt and might worry that a very good looking boyfriend will be harder work to keep interested. I know myself, I'm very blond and a bit Germanic looking, and some guys seem to go out of their way to tell me they don't go for the stereotypical blond look and why, just to prove a point.

Emme

Distorted wrote: »

I wouldn't go changing my personality but can you work more on getting good at casual lighthearted chat? As for the looks thing, this can sometimes count against you - some women want to be looked after and spoilt and might worry that a very good looking boyfriend will be harder work to keep interested.

aargh, where have you been hanging out? If you're halfway decent looking you shouldn't have any problems. Nightclubs and pubs can be hell so maybe try meetup groups (www.meetup.com) where you can meet Irish and different nationalities. There are several clubs on the website all catering to different interests.

I agree that some women can be intimidated by very good looking guys, particularly if they're clever. I haven't met any Jewish guys but my idea of them is that they're very clever, enterprising, great communicators and handsome in a dark smouldering way. This can be an intimidating mix for an Irish woman - we're not used to so much in one package! Irish women, despite what Irish men say, often sell themselves short and don't think much of themselves. The icy exterior is more often than not a front.

Distorted wrote: »

I know myself, I'm very blond and a bit Germanic looking, and some guys seem to go out of their way to tell me they don't go for the stereotypical blond look and why, just to prove a point.

I'm Irish and blonde, get mistaken for German, Russian, Danish... any other Northern European country but Ireland. From my experience Irish men tend not to go for the blonde look, not as much as other Europeans anyway. Maybe they're so sick of bleach blondes with fake tan, but I'm naturally blonde so I think it's an inbuilt thing - Irish men are pretty much genetically hardwired to prefer brunettes.

Anyway, aargh, don't give up, but start looking in different places. Good luck!

Mister Dread

You probably come across as a bit weird. Girls are really sensitive to that and the german thing probably exacerbate things.

chicken fingers

arrgh wrote: »

Hi, no Im not muslim (and this is the first time I hear that india is considered middle eastern country) - Im jewish, and originally (or at least born) in germany.

I never said that.
Its just that many of your grammatical errors are consistent with middle eastern countries and india / pakistan, who share the same problems.

Would language be a barrier in a conversational situation?

Emme

chicken fingers wrote: »

I never said that.
Its just that many of your grammatical errors are consistent with middle eastern countries and india / pakistan, who share the same problems.

Would language be a barrier in a conversational situation?

There are Jewish people in the Middle East. The OP could have moved there when he was very young even though he was born in Germany.

If the OP in Ireland 12 years language barrier shouldn't be a problem. Some non-English speakers have a foreign accent for years after coming here and that can put less open-minded people off.

I think the OP must be looking in the wrong places, ie noisy pubs, clubs etc. It's hard enough for natives to make themselves understood there, so it would be much more difficult for anyone else.

OP, go to places where people are more enlightened and you can have a conversation unemcumbered by loud music and drunks. And keep your options open, there are nice Irish girls here but also nice non-Irish girls.