How to play with a player??

LegacyUser

Ok, I am in the midst of dealing with a player, but need to know how to get around him, as I do like him. Any advice, or what I should do, or say would be great! Thanks

Otis Driftwood

Moved from tGC

Ickle Magoo

Tbh, I don't think there is anything you can say or do which will magically stop him being a player if that's what he wants to be. Either your relationship will make him want to stick with you or it won't...I don't think you are going to be able to coerce or contrive a scenario to force him to change. The only thing you can do is set out your expectations and boundaries and stick to them - and at least that way you can move on quickly if he doesn't want the same kind of relationship that you do.

All the best.

Miss Fluff

imagirl wrote: »

Ok, I am in the midst of dealing with a player, but need to know how to get around him, as I do like him.

Is what you're asking here is "how can I change him?" That's what I'm reading from your post.

If that's what you're asking then you're wasting your time tbh. Don't get involved with someone with the belief that you're going to change them. :eek: That's got to be one of the biggest mistakes in the book, it won't happen and you're just setting yourself up for disappointment.

So if he's a player who you doubt will be monogamous, and whom you don't trust and will probably chase any skirt going and make promises he can't keep then don't think or base your decision on whether to get involved on the premise that you will change him. That won't happen. If you're going to get involved it's with him warts (potentially genita wartsl ) and all and as how he presents himself at this moment in time.

LegacyUser

Miss Fluff wrote: »

Is what you're asking here is "how can I change him?" That's what I'm reading from your post.

If that's what you're asking then you're wasting your time tbh. Don't get involved with someone with the belief that you're going to change them. :eek: That's got to be one of the biggest mistakes in the book, it won't happen and you're just setting yourself up for disappointment.

So if he's a player who you doubt will be monogamous, and whom you don't trust and will probably chase any skirt going and make promises he can't keep then don't think or base your decision on whether to get involved on the premise that you will change him. That won't happen. If you're going to get involved it's with him warts (potentially genita wartsl ) and all and as how he presents himself at this moment in time.

Thanks for your advice! No, I don't wish to change him, we do chat and that, and we had a fling a few months ago, and now we are communicating again. What I would like to know is how could I get him to chase me, get his attention etc

I am a friend

imagirl wrote: »

Thanks for your advice! No, I don't wish to change him, we do chat and that, and we had a fling a few months ago, and now we are communicating again. What I would like to know is how could I get him to chase me, get his attention etc

Well with any players that hung around me, the less interested I appeared to them the more they wanted me. I don't mean being rude but the less available i was, the more they wanted to meet...

The most important thing is not to get emotionally involved at all and just see it as fun cos most likely that's all it will be...

LegacyUser

I am a friend wrote: »

Well with any players that hung around me, the less interested I appeared to them the more they wanted me. I don't mean being rude but the less available i was, the more they wanted to meet...

The most important thing is not to get emotionally involved at all and just see it as fun cos most likely that's all it will be...

Thats good advice I am friend thanks. Any other idea's? We are both attracted to each other, just would like to know how to get him after me? tanx

Miss Fluff

Agreed with I Am A Friend. If it's just for laughs and you're having fun then a bit of cat and mouse always works

Don't be available to him and DO NOT tell him what you're up to. So when you don't answer your phone to him until the next day, just say you were "busy" last night or "out".

When you're going out for the evening, be mysterious, don't tell him where you are going and who with. And even if you're sitting home with a vino in your dressing gown with a face mask on you are "busy". Don't respond to all his calls and texts.

Don't initiate contact. Be elusive.

If you've had a fling before he is obviously back sniffing around for a repeat performance. Don't give it to him on a plate, make him work for it

Emme

Miss Fluff wrote: »

Agreed with I Am A Friend. If it's just for laughs and you're having fun then a bit of cat and mouse always works

Don't be available to him and DO NOT tell him what you're up to. So when you don't answer your phone to him until the next day, just say you were "busy" last night or "out".

When you're going out for the evening, be mysterious, don't tell him where you are going and who with. And even if you're sitting home with a vino in your dressing gown with a face mask on you are "busy". Don't respond to all his calls and texts.

Don't initiate contact. Be elusive.

If you've had a fling before he is obviously back sniffing around for a repeat performance. Don't give it to him on a plate, make him work for it

Good advice, but most players probably aren't worth this effort no matter how attracted ye are to each other. I'd set my sights elsewhere but in the meantime enjoy yourself with the player when you do see him. I don't want to sound callous, but players are best for having a fling with until a better guy comes along.

I am a friend

Op he will keep chasing you til he realises he can catch you and then he will he gone. There is a very slim chance of a happy ending (for both of you) here. Sorry

LegacyUser

I'm just up for having a bit of fun with him, but in fun I don't mean to have lots of sex with him! Great advice people, I am up for a challenge, and the challenge would be keeping him from getting his wicked way from me for as long as possible! That would be my fun, keeping that up for a while, and keeping his attention, thats where further advice woudl be great! For instance, at the end of a night if he wants to take me home, how can I say no, but still keep him interested/chase me??

I am a friend

sunflower27 wrote: »

Why are you doing all this if you aren't interested in being with him? It all seems like a waste of energy.

If he wants to take you home, just say thanks but no thanks.

Are you trying to see how long you can lead him on for an ego boost or something?

Yeah????

Thought you liked him rather than just want to tease him. Sounds like too much hard work when there are so many nice guys out there to think about.

Maple

Essentially you're looking for PUA tips and this is against the charter.

Locked

Maple