over the top gays?

sherlock123

Hi, I'm not a completely out of the closet gay guy yet but the vast amount of gays I know are unfortunately the kind of stereotypical troublemakers you'd see in movies. There are one or two who don't behave this way, and I find that very attractive. They are not overly macho but they do not shriek if they don't like a certain person's wardrobe. So are the vast majority of gay guys of this type?? Sorry if this sounds so ignorant. I do really like chatting to a lot of flamboyant guys, they are great fun. I know a few who do this in excess though and it really pisses me off. If I've said something terribly wrong, then i'm sure i'll become more open-minded from any comments posted ^^ Thanks

azezil

I can safely say in my passed 8yrs being openly gay and out on the scene I've only ever encountered 1 guy who matched the stereotype of the overly flamboyant, camp bitchy queen as protrayed on tv. Most guys and gals aren't that OTT

brokenice

Don't worry, you haven't said anything ignorant. Yes it's true, a lot of gay men have the whole flamer queen vibe going on. That's not to say all gay men are like this. In my opinion, it all depends on age. In my experience, I find the younger the man, the higher the chance of fitting into that camp group. Perhaps it's immaturity, media influence, trying to fit the stereotype 'Let's go shopping in the mall!' type of thing. In reality, I'd assume that most gay men fit into the 'normal' category, but it's because these camp guys are so in your face, always out in The George, Dragon etc, that it's this typical image that we all receive!

ongarboy

When you say the vast majority of gays you know, are you referring to people you know personally or people you just observe? I'm sure the vast majority of guys you see anywhere that happen to be gay but have traditionally masculine mannerisms, you're not going to know they are gay so you/we assume they are straight. It's only the type of gay that has the stereotypical camp mannerisms that makes them come across as obviously being gay so there's sometimes an assumption that the majority of gays are like this.

I'm unsure what you mean by OTT gays being troublemakers like you see in the movies and which are mainly the types of gays you know - what type of trouble are they causing?

sherlock123

ongarboy wrote: »

When you say the vast majority of gays you know, are you referring to people you know personally or people you just observe? I'm sure the vast majority of guys you see anywhere that happen to be gay but have traditionally masculine mannerisms, you're not going to know they are gay so you/we assume they are straight. It's only the type of gay that has the stereotypical camp mannerisms that makes them come across as obviously being gay so there's sometimes an assumption that the majority of gays are like this.

I'm unsure what you mean by OTT gays being troublemakers like you see in the movies and which are mainly the types of gays you know - what type of trouble are they causing?

when I say the vast majority of gays I know, I mean the guys that I actually know are gay, not the ones I simply observe and assume are gay. These are people who have come out and whatnot. While there are a few that do act 'normally' the majority of them have very feminine mannerisms and bitchy attitudes. When I say troublemakers, I mean the kind of gay guys that will be speading rumours and be constantly bitching about stuff. In fact some people I do know would fit comfortable into these movie roles that I've mentioned. Probably seen as fashionable or something. I should have been clearer in my post of what I meant. I don't know many guys who could pass for straight. Perhaps as has been already pointed out, it's because of my age group I socialise with. They are all in the age bracket of 18-21. To be honest, they aren't really good rolemodels for coming out either...

Barna77

sherlock123 wrote: »

Hi, I'm not a completely out of the closet gay guy yet but the vast amount of gays I know are unfortunately the kind of stereotypical troublemakers you'd see in movies. There are one or two who don't behave this way, and I find that very attractive. They are not overly macho but they do not shriek if they don't like a certain person's wardrobe. So are the vast majority of gay guys of this type?? Sorry if this sounds so ignorant. I do really like chatting to a lot of flamboyant guys, they are great fun. I know a few who do this in excess though and it really pisses me off. If I've said something terribly wrong, then i'm sure i'll become more open-minded from any comments posted ^^ Thanks

:rolleyes:

Back on topic. OTT guys = annoying.

End of.

Conor30

sherlock123 wrote: »

when I say the vast majority of gays I know, I mean the guys that I actually know are gay, not the ones I simply observe and assume are gay. These are people who have come out and whatnot. While there are a few that do act 'normally' the majority of them have very feminine mannerisms and bitchy attitudes. When I say troublemakers, I mean the kind of gay guys that will be speading rumours and be constantly bitching about stuff. In fact some people I do know would fit comfortable into these movie roles that I've mentioned. Probably seen as fashionable or something. I should have been clearer in my post of what I meant. I don't know many guys who could pass for straight. Perhaps as has been already pointed out, it's because of my age group I socialise with. They are all in the age bracket of 18-21. To be honest, they aren't really good rolemodels for coming out either...

Even if you go out on the scene some night, be it the Front Lounge or the George or wherever, you'll notice that most of the men there don't fit the over-the-top, attention-seeking stereotype. Most gay guys are probably just more like you.

What's your issue with them anyway? At the end of the day, that particular category of gay guy will always be there, so it's just a case of getting used to them/ignoring them. If they annoy you, move away from them and/or don't associate with them. I never associated with annoying OTT types myself and am barely even aware of them as a result.

baby and crumble

I always think that the age-group you mention, OP, the late teens very early 20's, tend to want to live up to certain stereotypes. You have no real idea who you are at that stage, so you latch on to the most obvious 'type' of person you see that roughly fits with who you're defining yourself as. And that type of personality is always going to stand out and seem like the majority of the gay scene.

Hell, I know when I first came out in the age group I latched onto the whole lesbian/skater/baggies/ thing. Looks stupid on me, but it's what I thought I needed to be to fit in.

Ah, to be 17 again... :rolleyes:

WonderWoman!

It really depends on the age
I could easily say most lesbians I know are too cocky and kinda annoying yet I get on with the older ones who aren't at all like that

snappieT

azezil wrote: »

I can safely say in my passed 8yrs being openly gay and out on the scene I've only ever encountered 1 guy who matched the stereotype of the overly flamboyant, camp bitchy queen as protrayed on tv.

Looked in the mirror?

In seriousness, I have a theory behind this, partially because I fell into it quite a bit too. There are two sides to it:

Firstly, there are the "lost" guys who have trouble growing up because they're a bit different, don't fit into the usual groups, and eventually realise that they're gay. All of a sudden they have a new and interesting identity, and they jump right into that role.

On the other hand, you have the closeted guy who is dying to come out but just can't bring himself to it. He's jealous of the super-camp who fully "express" themselves. And when he eventually does come out, even if it's only in a different context/scene, he takes the opportunity, goes over the top, and lets it all out so he can return to "straight" life by Monday morning.

Those are my 2c, I think #1 explains my behaviour several years ago, a fake, forced identity to try to fit in. Fortunately, I've got over that now

Annasopra

sherlock123 wrote: »

Hi, I'm not a completely out of the closet gay guy yet but the vast amount of gays I know are unfortunately the kind of stereotypical troublemakers you'd see in movies. There are one or two who don't behave this way, and I find that very attractive. They are not overly macho but they do not shriek if they don't like a certain person's wardrobe. So are the vast majority of gay guys of this type?? Sorry if this sounds so ignorant. I do really like chatting to a lot of flamboyant guys, they are great fun. I know a few who do this in excess though and it really pisses me off. If I've said something terribly wrong, then i'm sure i'll become more open-minded from any comments posted ^^ Thanks

I am sure you know lots of gay people who are just not obviously gay

azezil

snappieT wrote: »

Looked in the mirror?

In seriousness, I have a theory behind this, partially because I fell into it quite a bit too. There are two sides to it:

Firstly, there are the "lost" guys who have trouble growing up because they're a bit different, don't fit into the usual groups, and eventually realise that they're gay. All of a sudden they have a new and interesting identity, and they jump right into that role.

On the other hand, you have the closeted guy who is dying to come out but just can't bring himself to it. He's jealous of the super-camp who fully "express" themselves. And when he eventually does come out, even if it's only in a different context/scene, he takes the opportunity, goes over the top, and lets it all out so he can return to "straight" life by Monday morning.

Those are my 2c, I think #1 explains my behaviour several years ago, a fake, forced identity to try to fit in. Fortunately, I've got over that now

Oh yeah I forgot about you and your limp wristed ways... and several others now that I think of it. Oh gawd they're everywhere! :eek:

kisaragi

This topic always irks me a little bit... To be honest I think a lot of it is people's innate personality and behavioural traits - and it's a little condescending to say their just trying to fit into a stereotype. I know lots of men and women of varying masculinity and femininity (and age too!) and suddenly just because they're not fitting into the gender-typical stereotype they're trying to fit into the queen/dyke stereotype? Do you accuse straight guys who like soccer of just trying to fit into the hetero stereotype?

As for being bitchy... Everyone is a little bitchy and judges others. If a right-wing ultra-masculine homophobe gets to judge me for being gay at least I get to judge his horrible fashion :rolleyes:

Seriously though people are entitled to like who they want but it's annoying to see people deciding that they aren't going to like a certain type of person before they get to know them and hypothesizing about why their personality is that way at all. We should all just love each other I say :cool:

baby and crumble

I think my irritation comes when you can see the person is 'putting it on'. If I see someone who is sure of themselves, but a bit queeny, then I'm cool with it, doesn't bother me. Because they're being authentic. It's the young lads at 19 who you just know aren't naturally like that, but who feel they have to put it on.

I think the best way of noticing that is go into the George or Dragon (which tends to have younger crowds) for a night out, and then go to Panti, which tends to be older. The sheer amount of bitchy queeny types are drastically reduced in Panti. I think that's because older people are more sure of themselves, and even when that kind of person is there, it's not even remotely annoying, because it's them being themselves.

jaffacakesyum

OP it is annoying, but each to their own. If all of us had the same type of personality it'd be a boring place! I don't associate with bitchy drama queens in general, be they straight bi or gay.

I don't know many gay men so I'd be in the same boat as yourself, having mostly met the 'stereotypical types'. But I assure you, they're not all like that

WonderWoman!

baby and crumble wrote: »

I think my irritation comes when you can see the person is 'putting it on'. If I see someone who is sure of themselves, but a bit queeny, then I'm cool with it, doesn't bother me. Because they're being authentic. It's the young lads at 19 who you just know aren't naturally like that, but who feel they have to put it on.
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^^ This