Married men asking me out????

Hannaho

I'm back on the dating scene a couple of years and in that time, including yesterday, three guys have told me they were single and yet living with parnters/wives.

The first guy 2.5 years ago spent a year telling me he was single - he did some work on my house. When someone told me he had a long-term partner after I was going out with him a few weeks, I dropped him. However, he persued me, to the point of making a nuisance of himself. He couldn't see any problem with going out with me and having a long-term partner at home.

The second guy I met through voluntary work I was involved in. We are still friends, but he spent about 2 years asking me out, telling me he was divorced for the last ten years. When I asked someone local to him about him he said he was still living with his wife, they didn't get on, and they lived in separate parts of the house.

Yesterday, I met up with someone who I have been texting for about 8 wks, we met on a surfing weekend. He kept telling me and everyone else he was separated for years, talking a little about the breakp-up etc and going on holidays on his own. Today when we met up, half way through, he told me his wife had MS, and things were difficult, but that she was recently with him in Turkey, but that things had been difficult over the years because of this. I was grateful he told me at this point!!

Questions: is it because I am a single mum that guys think that I will be up for any half-hearted relationship, or or most married people nowdays looking for firends with benefits outside their relationships. I'm confused, and at this point, feel that I must be seriously old-fashioned.

Commnents and advice once again welcome.

Emme

Hannaho wrote: »

I'm back on the dating scene a couple of years and in that time, including yesterday, three guys have told me they were single and yet living with parnters/wives.

The first guy 2.5 years ago spent a year telling me he was single - he did some work on my house. When someone told me he had a long-term partner after I was going out with him a few weeks, I dropped him. However, he persued me, to the point of making a nuisance of himself. He couldn't see any problem with going out with me and having a long-term partner at home.

The second guy I met through voluntary work I was involved in. We are still friends, but he spent about 2 years asking me out, telling me he was divorced for the last ten years. When I asked someone local to him about him he said he was still living with his wife, they didn't get on, and they lived in separate parts of the house.

Yesterday, I met up with someone who I have been texting for about 8 wks, we met on a surfing weekend. He kept telling me and everyone else he was separated for years, talking a little about the breakp-up etc and going on holidays on his own. Today when we met up, half way through, he told me his wife had MS, and things were difficult, but that she was recently with him in Turkey, but that things had been difficult over the years because of this. I was grateful he told me at this point!!

Questions: is it because I am a single mum that guys think that I will be up for any half-hearted relationship, or or most married people nowdays looking for firends with benefits outside their relationships. I'm confused, and at this point, feel that I must be seriously old-fashioned.

Commnents and advice once again welcome.

I don't think it's because you're a single mum. Any woman who is single beyond a certain age has to put up with chancers like this. When there are so many single women some men think that women will be grateful for any sort of attention, be it as a f***buddy or a bit on the side.

What really galls is the dishonesty of it all, but also the arrogance of the men that you will happily accept the dregs they are dishing. :mad:

An ex-friend who has been in a relationship for 4 years was pestering me for 2 years to have a FWB situation with him. He wouldn't take no for an answer so I don't talk to him any more.

If I meet a man now and he shows interest I will exhaust all social media, mutual contacts etc. in order to find out that he's genuinely single before I'll meet him again. Better safe than sorry. Checking men out this way isn't stalkerish if you're doing it to protect yourself and avoid dating the wrong kind of man.

LegacyUser

Some men (and probably women) are just like this. Dishonest and seek the thrill of cheating on their partner constantly.

A guy I work with is a prime example. He's used the line 'I've just broken up with my girlfriend' on so many of the girls in the office and almost all of them fall for it (including me). He's a serial cheater and he's currently living with his fiance and getting married in the fall. The problem is people at work fall for it again and again, usually the newbies just in because it's not the done thing to start making enquiries about more senior members of staff and their relationship status because that would show that you are maybe interested and God forbid you might let that show!

It's really very sad and I pity him more than anything else. Like he's obviously very unhappy in himself not to mind his current relationship.

I wouldn't say it has anything to do with you being a single mum, to be honest I think you've been unlucky that these have been the few you have come across in recent times. Honestly not all guys are like this (I keep telling myself) and you will find someone eventually who will be devoted to you and just you.

I would say ignore them, don't give them any encouragement and move on to bigger and better things!

I am a friend

From my experience of being single and 30's + in Ireland, the attentive ones are the married ones...

Its not my cuppa to get involved with someone else with a partner. I really cant figure what sizes their ego's are that they think 2 women would have them ... :eek: In most cases, they were doing well to get one.