Do you find that people don't acknowledge bisexuality?

bettyboop20

I recently revealed to some of my friends and family that I am bisexual. I didn't say anything before that because I just had one girlfriend at the age of fifteen and several boyfriends after that so there was no need. Also I often find it complicates my relationship with people and how they view me. Basically I try to avoid it. Now I find myself moving in with my girlfriend and it is very unavoidable. Most people just assume that I am gay now and have been covering it up for years or they don't seem to realise that being bisexual actually exists. I have tried to explain it but I just receive comments like ''but you are in a gay relationship now'' and ''but weren't you going out with a guy for years?''. I am also worried that if things don't work out with my girlfriend (god forbid) and I do go out with a guy then people will think I was going through a ''phase'' or that I don't know what I want. I do know what I want, I want people to acknowledge that I am bisexual! So I was wondering if this is an irish thing or a universal issue?

Dr. Baltar

Bisexual Erasure is pretty much the biggest problem facing bisexuals today. Personally, I tend to find that gay people are a lot more biphobic than straight people, often saying that I'm in the closet and taking an easy option.
Straight people are a hell of a lot more accepting of it, which is possibly why I hang around with them more.

baby and crumble

Yeah, it pisses my gf off no end. Everyone assumes she's a lesbian.

Sonics2k

I honestly don't acknowledge anyone's sexuality.

I was born and raised within the "gay community" by gay parents, and have honestly never given a toss about someone's sexuality, because it means absolutely sod all when it comes down to it.

People can say you're just taking the easy way out OP, but all that matter's is that you love and care for someone, their gender means nothing.

Besides, this way you get a wider choice of people and everyone else is jealous :P

Asry

It seriously, seriously irritates me. I cannot stress this enough. As a woman who sleeps with women sometimes and has been in romantic relationships with them in the past, I'd try to be as visible a bisexual as I can, just to make people like me be seen and heard.

EVERYTHING is listed as being for lesbians. So like. Even threads on here, girls looking to hang out with lesbians (when I'm assuming they mean me too? Or maybe not), I just ignore them.

Chip on my shoulder syndrome.

teemm

Yes, I'm in a straight relationship thus I'm straight. If it had gone the other way. I would be gay. It's not really surprising though. On top of that many bisexuals don't want to come out as such. Quite simply because when you do, to straight people you are gay and to gay people you are gay but don't want to commit to it.

I'm read somewhere that as many as 25% of the population could be bisexual. No idea of the source or how true it is. But I would believe it.

I personally prefer the to call myself sexual. I'm sexually attracted to people. Maybe we are even the majority. Perhaps the real 'queers' are those who are only attracted to the one sex?

Asry

teemm wrote: »

Yes, I'm in a straight relationship thus I'm straight. If it had gone the other way. I would be gay. It's not really surprising though. On top of that many bisexuals don't want to come out as such. Quite simply because when you do, to straight people you are gay and to gay people you are gay but don't want to commit to it.

I'm read somewhere that as many as 25% of the population could be bisexual. No idea of the source or how true it is. But I would believe it.

I personally prefer the to call myself sexual. I'm sexually attracted to people. Maybe we are even the majority. Perhaps the real 'queers' are those who are only attracted to the one sex?

LOL, those queer binary-restricted losers! But yes. I'm with a guy so I'm straight. Although many people think I'm a lesbian, actually. :mad:Arrgghhhh. I'm bang in the middle! Believe me, I've tried really hard to reach the straight side!!! Even being one or the other would be fantastic. :(Being both is horrible! It's like double vision! Some lesbians apparently hate me, straight people think I'm greedy...and I don't really belong in the gay scene or the straight scene! :mad:Also I don't know anyone like me. :mad:Rant! Rant! Arrghhh! I just like people! There's something attractive in everybody! (...hopefully). That doesn't mean I have to go out right now and sleep with them though. :rolleyes:

stephen_n

Simple answer is yes!

LegacyUser

Ah! I'm wondering the exact same thing. I'm in the process of coming out but I'm struggling to reconcile it all. Sometimes I think it would be easier if girls just disappeared. Unfortunately that's not going to happen. I have no doubt that one of the joys in life is putting a smile on the face of a woman. Although it's as if women are like works of art in a museum, whenever I try to reach out to one, it's as if they're behind a pane of glass. And it kills me. Why!!! Damn you why!!!

Not everything is black and white! What is more a cop out. Bisexuality or not acting on feelings for a person? I've hummed and hawwed so long I don't know anymore... Help me.

Lia_lia

This pisses me off too. I didn't realise how many people don't believe that you can be attracted to both genders until I started bringing it up in conversations. The lads at work today were talking about how a friend of theirs is bisexual and started the whole "ya can't be bisexual, ya either like one or the other!" bullshit. I just ignored them and walked away, couldn't be arsed anymore.

I don't label myself as gay/straight/bisexual/anything anyway because I never felt the need to. The gender of a person has never really meant anything to me, since a young age. Why do people feel the need to label themselves? Or be one or the other? Who cares!

fillefatale

Yes, that's why I don't label myself as one. I've found neither straight nor gay people are that accepting of it. I don't fit into either scene, its sort of a lonely limbo.

Peoples need to put other in boxes makes them very confused when it comes to things like bi-sexuality. They simply can not fit you into a simple box in their brain, especially when you are with one sex and claim you also like the other. It just does not compute for them.

We get a glimpse of how confusing it is for someone people because the two girls I live with are also with each other. They are not bi per se either, only with each other, which confuses people even further. They are straight, they are with me, but they are with each other despite not being generally bi.

As soon as you do not fit into a simple box for people, their eyes cross over and they do not know where to go. Our friends have just come to accept thats the way we are and we are happy.... but I often wonder how many of them are still entirely confused by us.

floggg

Maybe the reason why gay people find it so hard to believe is that when trying to deal with their own sexuality, some of them tried to latch onto the label of bisexual as allowing them to explain their feelings towards the same sex while still telling themselves to could end up happily married in a hetero relationship with kids and a picket fence without being ostensibly different.

I know I did. So when it doesn't work for you, you question whether it can for anybody.

Not saying that's right, just explaining the motivation.

I also imagine it's got a lot of people's distrust of anything that blurs social or gender norms.

RiseToMe

My partner, soon to be wife, has the exact same issue. She is attracted to both women and men. I am a lesbian. She doesn't refer to herself as bisexual anymore due to the negativity she's received in the past from members (including friends of mine) from the gay community.
It's a principal to her, yes shes in a gay relationship, yes she will be very shortly my wife but she is still bisexual. She has in the past referred to herself as a lesbian for "the easy way out". There's been times she's practically been in tears because of people's attitude to her.

hare05

bettyboop20 wrote: »

Do you find that people don't acknowledge bisexuality?

Yup

/Thread

stephen_n

Mr.S wrote: »

A lot of people call themselves "bi" before calling themselves gay, so thats why most people assume a person is gay if they say they're bi.

A lot of people call themselves straight before coming out!

squishykins

I don't mind people not believing me when I say I'm bi, I know who I am and what I like what does sometimes annoy me a little is when people say I'm just greedy, though that was mostly when I was single and people seemed to think I'd accept anyone I could get.

But to answer your question, I think some people just can't comprehend it, and therefore think it's not possible. But who cares what other people think, right?