so angry and scared

PTH2009

I have a friend Mr y probly would be my best friend but he has friends (normally a group) who are verbally abusive ****ers ,messers, the lads. i looked on mr y facebook page today and there was a comment from one of the lads in the group calling me a loser (you have Big C(my nickname) ,the biggest loser i know (was the comment) I feel scared is mr y is going to comment back saying something abusive about me like he does do and then says it was a joke.

Im quite lad not that talkative but this lads just take the piss out of me way too much and im going to do something which i will regreat if they go too far. If i say to them **** off they just continue it more.,i feel like killing them or doing something i regreat to myself. advice ??

Why cant i be a normal person which nobody takes the piss out of it. Im sensive for a guy but i dont go around abusiong people.

Banter is banter but these lads go way too far.

my life is turing around a bit now(had a troubled past) but these lads are trying to make it worse and for no reason. I do like them but thats when im not in there limelight and they treat me with respect

Any advice ??

Ickle Magoo

Maybe it's time for some new friends? If Mr Y thinks abusing you publicly on their facebook page is grand then perhaps it's time to distance yourself from them as well?

PTH2009

i feel like i have enogh of my life. I must be ugly if everyone is saying if i can get a girlfriend anyone can.

I just cant get my senseitivness out of head. I have a friend who is 24 who never had a girlfriend,just stays in his room and never goes out much and hes doesnt get as much asbuse that i do.

I have a well paid job, work as a volunteer, can play guitar but why cant i be conceredrd normal by most people. Just cause im pale, just cause i get drunk easily,just cause i dont do drugs, just cause im shy, just cause people from school cant forgive me for stuff i did in the past. I dont want to leave my family behind but i like the people that treat me like ****, they may be acting but i just pray one day everyone will mature and i cant go live my life.

Ickle Magoo

Why not just get more positive influences in your life? I imagine you ARE considered normal by most people - these eejits that have to resort to posting insults on facebook for a larf or kicks and giggles are hardly "most people" - they sound very immature and with more than a hint of their own self-esteem issues.

There are a billion people out there, you don't need to count idiots as your friends. And keep reminding yourself, people that pick on others do so because they have issues - it's their problem, not yours.

Bubblegums

What you describe is bullying and they are not decent friends, you need to throw off the lot of them wasters! They are probably jealous of you. You sound grand, you have a job and interests etc, I know it sounds cheesey but try meet new people with the same interests and morals as you, life gets easy when you aren't afraid of being by yourself, I personally would rather sit watchin paint dry than put up with fools like those idiots! Don't let them drag you down, there's much better people out there that would be proper friends to you :-) Why not suggest to you your friend that stays in his room that you 2 go out for some beers, not where the others go. Some lads never mature and cop on so don't hold your breath waiting for the other twits to grow up!

Colonel_McCoy

Disable comments being left on facebook under settings

lace

Colonel_McCoy wrote: »

Disable comments being left on facebook under settings

Unfortunately, it's not possible to disable posts being left on other people's pages. Unless you're being tagged in the posts there's not much you can do. You could report abuse and it may eventually lead to their accounts being cancelled (they could just make new accounts) but would probably just lead to them being blocked from interacting with you and I this won't stop them talking about you (online) behind your back so I don't think it's the best course of action.

If I were you, I would block these so-called friends from my news feed (they won't be able to tell you've done this) and resist the urge to check their pages. Unless you want to confront them - either in person by talking to them or online by commenting on the actual wall post - about what they've been saying about you online there's not much you can do and the best thing to do is just to ignore such childish behaviour.

You sound like a normal, well-balanced young guy who's mature and wants to move on from his old ways. Someone like that doesn't belong with a group of childish eejits. I know you see Mr Y as a good friend, but how good can any friend who's in with such a crowd and bends to their pressure really be? If he chooses to be friends with a group of messers who are abusive towards you then I don't think he can truly be a friend of yours.

If he chooses them over you (which he seems to be doing) then see it as his loss. He's going to be held back and possibly come into trouble because of this group of people. Don't let them drag you down too. It's time to get away and find some new people to hang out with. Waiting for these guys to mature is a waste of your time.

You seem to put yourself down a lot. You say you must be ugly and you feel you're not normal etc. Could it be that you feel you don't deserve better? Because you definitely do!! You've got a job, interests, hobbies. You're making a life for yourself! And if you've had girlfriends it means you're not unpopular with the ladies (lots of us are into pale guys)! It's time to see that you're worth more and you deserve better than this. Your time and energy and emotions are too important to waste on these lads.

You mentioned that you volunteer - could you perhaps socialise with any of the people you volunteer with? It can be a great way to do some team bonding but also make friends. Are there any clubs or groups or evening courses in your local area you could join? You play guitar - why not keep an eye out for bands looking for an extra musician (would also be a great way to meet ladies).

Get involved in other things and mingle with other people and, in time, you'll be too busy to care about these lads!

Keep us posted and good luck!

lace

Colonel_McCoy wrote: »

Disable comments being left on facebook under settings

Unfortunately, it's not possible to disable posts being left on other people's pages. Unless you're being tagged in the posts there's not much you can do. You could report abuse and it may eventually lead to their accounts being cancelled (they could just make new accounts) but would probably just lead to them being blocked from interacting with you and I this won't stop them talking about you (online) behind your back so I don't think it's the best course of action.

If I were you, I would block these so-called friends from my news feed (they won't be able to tell you've done this) and resist the urge to check their pages. Unless you want to confront them - either in person by talking to them or online by commenting on the actual wall post - about what they've been saying about you online there's not much you can do and the best thing to do is just to ignore such childish behaviour.

You sound like a normal, well-balanced young guy who's mature and wants to move on from his old ways. Someone like that doesn't belong with a group of childish eejits. I know you see Mr Y as a good friend, but how good can any friend who's in with such a crowd and bends to their pressure really be? If he chooses to be friends with a group of messers who are abusive towards you then I don't think he can truly be a friend of yours.

If he chooses them over you (which he seems to be doing) then see it as his loss. He's going to be held back and possibly come into trouble because of this group of people. Don't let them drag you down too. It's time to get away and find some new people to hang out with. Waiting for these guys to mature is a waste of your time.

It may be helpful for you to talk to someone (professional) about the way this is affecting you. You say the actions of this group make you want to hurt them or do something you'll regret. Talking it through with someone might help you to deal with the fear and the anger and get past it.

You seem to put yourself down a lot. You say you must be ugly and you feel you're not normal etc. Could it be that you feel you don't deserve better? Because you definitely do!! You've got a job, interests, hobbies. You're making a life for yourself! And if you've had girlfriends it means you're not unpopular with the ladies (lots of us are into pale guys)! It's time to see that you're worth more and you deserve better than this. Your time and energy and emotions are too important to waste on these lads.

You mentioned that you volunteer - could you perhaps socialise with any of the people you volunteer with? It can be a great way to do some team bonding but also make friends. Are there any clubs or groups or evening courses in your local area you could join? You play guitar - why not keep an eye out for bands looking for an extra musician (would also be a great way to meet ladies).

Get involved in other things and mingle with other people and, in time, you'll be too busy to care about these lads!

Keep us posted and good luck!

Miss Fluff

Did you go for the counselling as recommended in your other PI threads OP?