Girl advice

yupyup7up

I've been single 4 years now so haven't a clue what to do here!

Basically I met this girl, and we get on really well. We're meeting for the past month or so and everything is going well and we met up at the weekend and she went home the next day after a great weekend, and she text me saying she didn't want a relationship.

I wasn't expecting a relationship straight away myself, so I asked did she want to keep meeting up and she said she said she did.

So I'm a little lost here, should I keep meeting her or is this going no where? She said she doesn't want a boyfriend right now, so is there any point in meeting up still? totally lost!

woodchuck

Well she's said she doesn't want a relationship, so no, it's not going anywhere Maybe she wants to stay friends, but if you have feelings for her beyond that I think you're better off keeping your distance and sparing yourself the heartache.

Miss Fluff

If you like her then I'd advise you to cut your losses.

She said she doesn't want to make things official and yet wants to keep seeing you. Pretty selfish of her tbh. She's either hedging her bets until someone "better" comes along and doesn't want a realtionship with you or she enjoys having the company but doesn't want a relationship with anyone.

I guess she has been honest so you've got to give her that.

On the other hand you've only been seeing her a month so very early days.

But if she's vehement about not wanting to be involved with you then if it was me I'd be out of there if I thought I really liked the person....

Bubblegums

When you say she went home... does that mean she stayed over and she was only after one thing? Modern women behaving like men of times gone by are confusing indeed. The best thing is that she was upfront and didn't mess around with your head for too long, she obviously realised you wanted a relationship, someone for keeps, nothing wrong with that, but she didn't want that, at least you haven't invested in the whole set up, emotionally or otherwise and can move on. I'd not be doing with the 'lets be friends' lark, as someone said, she could be hedging her bets. If people don't want what you want, it isn't heading for success, if you like her and stay friends and she gets going with someone else, you'll find it hard to watch so move on now while you can

karaokeman

Do you have romantic feelings for her?

I would say if not there should be no problem keeping in contact with her if you get along really well with this girl and she likes your company.

If you do have feelings I would say give her some time.

She may say she's not interested in having a relationship but that may just be a phase she's going through or it might be an easy way for her to say she's not interested in you more than a friend.

I'm not saying she's definitely not interested that way but try and keep your options open. Don't drop contact with her if this is the case, I've done that before and its even harder.

Its better to be friends with someone you love than single them out of your life when they may still want a friendship.

yupyup7up

thanks for the replies lads.

yeah i really like her. and she said she feels the same in that way, but just doesnt want a relationship right now. Now I haven't told her that I do either.
She came down to meet me even though I didn't ask her to and we had a great night, and that was a night after we had met up before that, so I think there could be something there, but I'm definitely not going to try rush it..

She said she wants to keep meeting the way we are going though?

LegacyUser

As it happens I'm in a similar situation myself at the moment OP...except I'm the girl in the story.
I've been meeting up with a guy, hooking up occasionally and the like. I like and respect him, but have no interest in a relationship with him for my own personal reasons. I've been crystal clear and have told him so. He says he's cool with it, but I'd rather remain friends and frankly I don't think friends with benefits ends happily for anyone. I find there's always an unequal footing in a relationship like that.
If I were you, I'd move on and meet someone who wants the same things you do, rather than invest time and emotions into something that's going nowhere.