Feral children and their do-nothing parents

southsiderosie

While cutting down swings or shooting at children in your back garden may be extreme, it seems like people are increasingly fed up with feral children whose parents refuse to impose any kind of discipline or control on them. Kids have always gotten themselves into trouble, but it seems like today the parents are not only unwilling to punish them, but in turn put the blame on anyone other than their demon spawn.

If the parents can't be arsed, and the police don't want (or need) to use precious resources on bad kids under the age of 16, what can be done? Especially since a good slap isn't really the done thing anymore?

I honestly don't know what to say here; I've yelled at strange kids before, but these days (especially in the US) some of these little ****ers are liable to come back with their uncle's gun or something. Maybe the parents should be fined and made to do community service alongside their bad-ass kids - then they would pay attention...but it just seems like the government shouldn't have to waste time and energy forcing kids to behave and parents to care, especially since this kind of stuff used to be handled by the adults in the community without any complaining.

PCPhoto

(insert sarcastic thanks whore comment here)


I honestly couldnt think of anything sarcastic or mildly funny to say

chin_grin

Squeeze lemon juice in their eyes when the parents aren't looking.

Wolfe Tone

Throw acid in their little faces

ejmaztec

Send em to the Vatican.

boomerang

Mandatory parenting classes? Junior ASBOs?

I honestly don't know what the answer is, but there's a few here causing mayhem that I'd love to fire into a patch of nettles...

Jagle

send them to church thatll learn the lil feckers :rolleyes:

Kevin Duffy

Parenting education should be compulsory.

chin_grin

I know! Means tested child licenses. (With mandatory psych evaluation).

/problem.

southsiderosie

boomerang wrote: »

Mandatory parenting classes? Junior ASBOs?

I honestly don't know what the answer is, but there's a few here causing mayhem that I'd love to fire into a patch of nettles...

Here's the thing I don't get about the whole ASBO phenomenon: Why is the government stuck with the administrative cost of these kinds of programs because parents won't discipline their kids? Honestly, I never used to be a fan of corporal punishment, but I've seen a few kids who could use a good slap and a ride home in the back of a police car, rather than hundreds of dollars worth of administrative oversight because they are a little bollix.

Turpentine

chin_grin wrote: »

Squeeze lemon juice in their eyes when the parents aren't looking.

A noble idea.

Personally though, I only usually carry a limited amount of lemon juice around, except on Pancake Tuesday when all bets are off.

Duggy747

Eliminate children.

Old men are the future!

CD.

For parents who are getting benefits from their children and sending children out thieving have a 3 strikes deal.

Child gets caught doing something wrong, benefits cut by 20% for a year, second time, another 20% and the year ban is extended to a year and a half. 3rd child benefits are taken away either for good or for two/three years.

It would encourage shitty parents to do something. Though there will be problems with good parents who need benefits and children who are just shit but overall it would probably go a long way towards cutting down kids being sent out robbing and the like.

Standman

Community spirit is lacking in a lot of neighbourhoods, which does not help at all. There is a prevalent "us and them" attitude going around in many estates, and the problem of "feral" children could be more adequately addressed if parents were more open to civilised dialogue with each other instead of backhanded sniping, bickering, and worst of all violent behaviour towards children.

Millicent

southsiderosie wrote: »

Here's the thing I don't get about the whole ASBO phenomenon: Why is the government stuck with the administrative cost of these kinds of programs because parents won't discipline their kids? Honestly, I never used to be a fan of corporal punishment, but I've seen a few kids who could use a good slap and a ride home in the back of a police car, rather than hundreds of dollars worth of administrative oversight because they are a little bollix.

Ah, I don't think a good slap is the way to go. It's not the little shits' fault they have crappy parents. While a rare percentage of kids are just bad eggs, the major problem is parents who have taught their kids that they are the centre of the world and that their needs, wants and gratification come first.

I say punish the parents. I remember the hand wringing a few years back when the UK (I think) starting punishing the parents of truant kids. The hand wringing was hilarious. I.e. "I try to make him/her go but I can't force them to stay there." If that's the case you either A- have lost control and need to regain it sharpish or B - need to get the kid some help for their behaviour/emotional problems. To my mind, it's that simple. With very few exceptions, I find this looking to blame others for what your kids do/passing the responsibility a really lazy excuse.

Wolfe Tone

Some kids do need a bit of a slap or a kick up the hole, as long as they dont have the sh!t kicked out of them its ok imo.

Whispered

A lot of the time though the kids causing problems are not very big ones. Just constant little annoyances, I've ran some out of my garden before - they decided to have a picnic in my front lawn and were stamping their rubbish into my flower bed. Hardly guard calling stuff, but bloody annoying. Same with them banging the door during the day, I work nights so sleep during the day, I don't want my cars washed, I don't want to see your play and I don't care if someone called you a name. Feck off out of my garden. We could have had a nasty accident in our garden there a few days ago because of a very young child out unsupervised. And as for their road sense :eek: it's madness.

This whole "kids will be kids" mentality - yeah YOUR kids, they're not mine.

THEN to add insult to injury some parents decided to have an estate cleaning day and dropped notes into all of the houses saying "We ALL have to live in the estate, so we ALL should clean it" in bright red letters. The day I have kids and let them leave rubbish all over the estate is the day I'll go and clean it up. If you want a tidy estate, watch your filthy children and what they are doing.

Pherekydes

Either your kids are "demon spawn " or you're a child -beating monster. Who'd be a parent these days?

biko

In order to get tubes untied/vasectomy reversed potential parents would have to raise 3 guide dogs and a baby orangutan first.
If they can handle that they can handle a child.

amacca

I refuse to vote if theres no atari jaguar option!

Millicent

Pherekydes wrote: »

Either your kids are "demon spawn " or you're a child -beating monster. Who'd be a parent these days?

Not really. I'm not sure if you're being flippant but there's a perfectly useful middle ground* in between.












*Just don't put a swing on it or teh gayz will get you.

Pherekydes

biko wrote: »

In order to get tubes untied/vasectomy reversed potential parents would have to raise 3 guide dogs and a baby orangutan first.
If they can handle that they can handle a child.

Let other species raise their own young.

southsiderosie

amacca wrote: »

I refuse to vote if theres no atari jaguar option!

+ (i wish you could vote for more than one option because I'm in favor of all the first four options in this poll to run concurrently)

You should be able to vote for more than one?

Spudmonkey

Wolfe Tone wrote: »

Some kids do need a bit of a slap or a kick up the hole, as long as they dont have the sh!t kicked out of them its ok imo.

A good boot up the hole would go a long way to sorting some of those cheeky little ****s out!

Cookie_Monster

I'm sure we could get the gov to commission a report to look into the socio-economic impact of the cost effectiveness of educating waster parents how to properly educate their children about how not to be feral ignorant *****.

amacca

southsiderosie wrote: »

You should be able to vote for more than one?

yeah sorry.....just discovered that there now.

book throwing at parents and a bit of corporal punishment (for parents and kids) will do nicely ta very much

Turpentine

Wolfe Tone wrote: »

Throw acid in their little faces

Wolfe Tone wrote: »

Some kids do need a bit of a slap or a kick up the hole, as long as they dont have the sh!t kicked out of them its ok imo.

You're getting soft man.

amacca

Cookie_Monster wrote: »

I'm sure we could get the gov to commission a report to look into the socio-economic impact of the cost effectiveness of educating waster parents how to properly educate their children about how not to be feral ignorant *****.

yeah I agree no more softly softly shyte, no more focus groups etc...punish punish punish and if they don't get the message punish some more

Buceph

Whispered wrote: »

A lot of the time though the kids causing problems are not very big ones. Just constant little annoyances, I've ran some out of my garden before - they decided to have a picnic in my front lawn and were stamping their rubbish into my flower bed. Hardly guard calling stuff, but bloody annoying. Same with them banging the door during the day, I work nights so sleep during the day, I don't want my cars washed, I don't want to see your play and I don't care if someone called you a name. Feck off out of my garden. We could have had a nasty accident in our garden there a few days ago because of a very young child out unsupervised. And as for their road sense :eek: it's madness.

This whole "kids will be kids" mentality - yeah YOUR kids, they're not mine.

THEN to add insult to injury some parents decided to have an estate cleaning day and dropped notes into all of the houses saying "We ALL have to live in the estate, so we ALL should clean it" in bright red letters. The day I have kids and let them leave rubbish all over the estate is the day I'll go and clean it up. If you want a tidy estate, watch your filthy children and what they are doing.

You just sound like a grumpy fecker.

Nothing wrong with that though.


Could you have seen this coming? Estate agents have a tendency to advertise the age profile of an estate, so if there's a few families with young kids, they'll play that up to other families thinking of buying. Eventually you reach a critical mass of screaming hordes. Obviously they'll sell to older people, and people without kids as well and tell them whatever they want to hear, so you need to ask your questions sneakily.

My parents and siblings are off on holiday with friends and their young family. The kids are mental. And the parents are worse. Everything their kids want they get and their kids always come first. Spoiled feckers they are. I'm glad I'm not with them.

jimmycrackcorm

If we're throwing the book at them then it should be a big heavy one

chin_grin

jimmycrackcorm wrote: »

If we're throwing the book at them then it should be a big heavy one

Don't forget the sharp corners.

Aldebaran

Cut down all the swings.

Mike 1972

Wolfe Tone wrote: »

Throw acid in their little faces

Turpentine wrote: »

You're getting soft man.

Knee cappings are so last decade

holystungun9

Aldebaran wrote: »

Cut down all the swings.

I agree. And concrete the whole country and put broken glass in the play areas. That'll learn 'em real good.

southsiderosie

Pherekydes wrote: »

Either your kids are "demon spawn " or you're a child -beating monster. Who'd be a parent these days?

Well, the delusional parents don't realize (or don't acknowledge) that they have demon spawn, so they don't think anything is wrong. And the child-beating monsters are in the minority. But the other 20% are ok...ok, maybe 50%. Maybe.

Millicent

southsiderosie wrote: »

Well, the delusional parents don't realize (or don't acknowledge) that they have demon spawn, so they don't think anything is wrong. And the child-beating monsters are in the minority. But the other 20% are ok...ok, maybe 50%. Maybe.

I've been thinking about this more and I really do think a lot of the conventional parenting thinking is to blame.

I know someone who is using this school of thought on her kids that you reward the good behaviour and ignore the bad. That way, the thinking goes, you give attention to the good actions and not the bad.

I mean, what sort of bollocksology is that? If you do something bad in adult life, you can bet your ass that you'll receive some negative consequences. Steal something? Go to jail. Grope someone? Get a punch in the face.

I don't think it's necessarily the parents' fault that they buy into this bad advice. A lot of parenting "experts" are really perpetuating some batshit pseudo-psychology that is affecting kids.

The person I described? Her kid is a little brat sometimes and she has no idea why.

southsiderosie

Millicent wrote: »

I've been thinking about this more and I really do think a lot of the conventional parenting thinking is to blame.

I know someone who is using this school of thought on her kids that you reward the good behaviour and ignore the bad. That way, the thinking goes, you give attention to the good actions and not the bad.

I mean, what sort of bollocksology is that? If you do something bad in adult life, you can bet your ass that you'll receive some negative consequences. Steal something? Go to jail. Grope someone? Get a punch in the face.

I don't think it's necessarily the parents' fault that they buy into this bad advice. A lot of parenting "experts" are really perpetuating some batshit pseudo-psychology that is affecting kids.

The person I described? Her kid is a little brat sometimes and she has no idea why.

There was a very popular article in the NY Times a few years ago that advocated this approach (reward good behavior; ignore bad) for managing husbands. Apparently she learned it from watching animal trainers:

...I listened, rapt, as professional trainers explained how they taught dolphins to flip and elephants to paint. Eventually it hit me that the same techniques might work on that stubborn but lovable species, the American husband.

The central lesson I learned from exotic animal trainers is that I should reward behavior I like and ignore behavior I don't. After all, you don't get a sea lion to balance a ball on the end of its nose by nagging. The same goes for the American husband.

Back in Maine, I began thanking Scott if he threw one dirty shirt into the hamper. If he threw in two, I'd kiss him. Meanwhile, I would step over any soiled clothes on the floor without one sharp word, though I did sometimes kick them under the bed. But as he basked in my appreciation, the piles became smaller...

mickydoomsux

The problem today is that kids are told they have a problem like ADD or somesuch when they are in fact, just little ****s. Once again our society has to find someone or something else to blame besides the person just being an asshole.

Also, hit your kids. They'll learn manners quickly.

I was in the cinema this morning and for the entire film there was 5 or 6 guys around 15 or 16 years old sitting behind me throwing stuff at each other and talking. I'd never have done that at their age and neither would any of my friends because we had manners because when we screwed up, our parents slapped the **** out of us.

Rabies

amacca wrote: »

I refuse to vote if theres no atari jaguar option!

would you like one?


edit:
feck it.... added

Millicent

southsiderosie wrote: »

There was a very popular article in the NY Times a few years ago that advocated this approach (reward good behavior; ignore bad) for managing husbands. Apparently she learned it from watching animal trainers.

LOL! Still, I don't buy it for children. When they're not fully cooked, they need someone to teach them boundaries and the principles of right and wrong. Might work on a husband who knows well when he's being a lazy slob but is refusing to acknowledge it.

Also, how patronised must that husband have felt after reading that? Only funny if you're not the husband in question!

hatrickpatrick

Define "feral"?
Boards.ie will massacre me for this, but there are two sides to it. One is that there are SOME generally obnoxious kids out there....... The other is that there are a lot of completely intolerant, resentful, cranky muppets out there who will moan about absolutely anything a kid does. Boards is home to many of the latter, it would seem.

amacca

Millicent wrote: »

I mean, what sort of bollocksology is that? If you do something bad in adult life, you can bet your ass that you'll receive some negative consequences. Steal something? Go to jail.

not necessarily...

Kevin Duffy

southsiderosie wrote: »

There was a very popular article in the NY Times a few years ago that advocated this approach (reward good behavior; ignore bad) for managing husbands. Apparently she learned it from watching animal trainers:

..I listened, rapt, as professional trainers explained how they taught dolphins to flip and elephants to paint. Eventually it hit me that the same techniques might work on that stubborn but lovable species, the American husband.

The central lesson I learned from exotic animal trainers is that I should reward behavior I like and ignore behavior I don't. After all, you don't get a sea lion to balance a ball on the end of its nose by nagging. The same goes for the American husband.

Back in Maine, I began thanking Scott if he threw one dirty shirt into the hamper. If he threw in two, I'd kiss him. Meanwhile, I would step over any soiled clothes on the floor without one sharp word, though I did sometimes kick them under the bed. But as he basked in my appreciation, the piles became smaller...

I think all that proves is that Scott was imature and his mammy should have kicked his arsé a bit more instead of leaving it to his wife to raise him

amacca

Kevin Duffy wrote: »

I think all that proves is that Scott was imature and his mammy should have kicked his arsé a bit more instead of leaving it to his wife to raise him

or it could just prove that Scott likes sex

a reward his mother could never provide (hopefully)...at least personally

I can see the headlines now

the hooker method......listen mothers, forget putting cheerios in the toilet and getting your teenage son to aim at it to avoid splashy splashy

establish a line of credit with the local brothel when little scott does something good for change rent him a hooker....the more good he does the more hookers.....also no more pent up sexual frustration......hell be a dream to deal with

(disclaimer: make sure your little darling is adequately protected + no skanky hoes)

hdowney

the mother and i were discussing this point earlier. our local tidy towns committee planted lovely flowerbeds and put up hanging baskets all round the town to make the place nicer looking. good job.

then last nite a bunch of little gets decided to rip them up, throw them all over the road etc (see here: http://www.wicklownews.net/index.php/2011/07/vandals-target-tidy-towns/ )

people on facebook are asking anyone who knows who it was to come forward etc, that some parents must have noticed their spawn covered in muck, but the chances of anyone reporting these kids is pretty slim.

mother was saying in the old days you woulda been given a clip round the ear (be it by your own parent, or another adult if they found you first), frogmarched up to say sorry, be made replant the lot yourself, paying for replacement flowers out of your pocket money or whatever. you would have been punished for this.

but these days the children are treated like little darlings, like they can do no wrong, that they cannot be held responsible for their actions etc. biggest load of bollix i have ever heard. if i had done that i would be named, shamed and punished and would most deffo not have done it again. also i would have been highly unlikely to have done something like that in the first place as i was reared correctly. my mother knew where i was (most of the time), who my friends were etc. she taught me how to behave, how to treat both others and their property. she taught me about respect.

kids these days are not taught these things (now i know some kids are, before some parent swoops in and accuses me of generalizing). they are considered little angels, they are spoilt beyond all recongition. then parents wonder why their children are acting out. but also the first few times they try discipline, it doesn't work, because the child has been spoiled. so they give up. so the child grows up with this sense of they can do whatever they please.

URGH

pragmatic1

Give the parents a fcukin kicking.

Whispered

Buceph wrote: »

You just sound like a grumpy fecker.

Nothing wrong with that though.


Could you have seen this coming? Estate agents have a tendency to advertise the age profile of an estate, so if there's a few families with young kids, they'll play that up to other families thinking of buying. Eventually you reach a critical mass of screaming hordes. Obviously they'll sell to older people, and people without kids as well and tell them whatever they want to hear, so you need to ask your questions sneakily.

I don't want kids kicking my plants around the garden or leaving their rubbish in my garden. I don't want them banging my door at least 3 times a day (keeping in mind I work nights, and they will keep knocking until I answer). I don't want them coming up to my sitting room window for a good nosey and causing my dogs to bark, then running away crying that the dogs were barking (:rolleyes:). I don't want them racing into the garden and cornering the dogs, when we bring them out. I want to be able to reverse out of the garden without having to walk back to check one of them is not hiding behind the pillar to race past at the last second for a laugh. If that makes me grumpy then just call me victor.

Only a few days ago our neighbours visitor was leaving, he had opened the car door and went back in to get something. A little kid had climbed into the car :eek: Could you imagine the uproar had he accidently drove off with him.

Same neighbour had a row one evening with another parent over her sending her kids down to the house for the night without checking. She had sent him down, and he couldn't go home because she then went out.

It's not an issue with the age profile of the estate, it's an issue with parents allowing their kids out all day without supervision. The noise of them playing on the road doesn't bother me, but the things which directly effect me do. I can't understand how parents can allow young kids off to do what they want. It's so dangerous as well as being hassle for other people.

MagicSean

Legally a child under twelve cannot commit a crime (except rape or murder). So parents should be legally accountable for their childs (Under 12) actions. There should also be a 9 p.m. curfew for children under 12.

There should be an 11 p.m. curfew for teenagers between 12 and 18. Parents should be held partly responsable for their teenagers actions and the teenager referred to the juvenile diversion program. A teenager should get a maximum of three chances on the Juvenile Diversion program before being prosecuted.

ASBOs need to be given out more frequently and a breach of an asbo should result in a fine for the parent as well as mandatory attendance at parenting classes.

Mike 1972

Seanbeag1 wrote: »

There should be an 11 p.m. curfew for teenagers between 12 and 18..

You do realise a 17 year old can have completed their education and be working at that hour ?

MagicSean

Mike 1972 wrote: »

You do realise a 17 year old can have completed their education and be working at that hour ?

Not many places open at that hour in which a seventeen year old can work. The odd shop or restaurant maybe. Wouldn't be too hard to have a system of exemption from the curfew for work reasons.

carlybabe1

Seanbeag1 wrote: »

Legally a child under twelve cannot commit a crime (except rape or murder). So parents should be legally accountable for their childs (Under 12) actions. There should also be a 9 p.m. curfew for children under 12.

There should be an 11 p.m. curfew for teenagers between 12 and 18. Parents should be held partly responsable for their teenagers actions and the teenager referred to the juvenile diversion program. A teenager should get a maximum of three chances on the Juvenile Diversion program before being prosecuted.

ASBOs need to be given out more frequently and a breach of an asbo should result in a fine for the parent as well as mandatory attendance at parenting classes.

:eek: my daughter is 12, heading for thirteen, shes in at 9.30 at the very latest, and thats on the hols. When she goes back to school it will revert back to 8.00pm, and in before dark in the winter, i dont care if thats 4.30 in the afternoon, she can have her friends in and they can listen to music in her room, (no boys :mad:)

I do agree with the curfew thing, unfortunately, the savages where i live do as much damage (if not more) during the day. Its hard to be a parent, ( a decent one at least), we regularly have to put up with teenage tantrums, sulks banging doors, and lets not forget, being called a stalker...I dont give a sh(t, I'll stalk ye to within an inch of your life if thats what i need to do. And when you're in the company of undesirables, its guilt by association, so i'll be right there every single time you look over your shoulder.

My parents had no problem reprimanding me in public or private, whether it was verbal, or a clip round the ear. I tell ye one thing, i learned from a very young age to repect peoples property, and ye didnt dare set foot in someone elses garden without an invite