Dating website

LegacyUser

My boyfriend has been on a dating website since before we became a couple (I didn't meet him on there but he knows I know about his profile) we became an official couple over a month ago and I changed my status to "taken" the next day, then deleted my profile 3-4 days later. Out of curiousity I checked my boyfriends profile today and he last logged in 3 days ago and is still "single" on there. It's really bothering me. If he had changed it to "in a relationship" but kept the profile on the site to stay in touch with people I would understand. Would it be unreasonable to bring it up? I was thinking about saying it in a joke-ish sort of way, I don't want to attack him over it

Otis Driftwood

Not unreasonable at all.

People that are supposed to be in relationships should not be using a dating website,its as simple as that as far as Im concerned anyway.

LegacyUser

Op here. Thanks for the replies.

I did check his profile before, he had logged on since we began dating but hadn't been active for 2 weeks or so, it's not like he's on it every day but I still don't understand why he's on there. We recently had an argument about his ex (who he happened to meet on that site) because she was causing problems for us and he just said yesterday he's going to stop speaking to her because of the drama it's causing (he deleted her on fb and I believe him) and I don't want to seem like a control freak by bringing this up He told me I'm the best thing to ever happen to him (he liked me for a long time before we began dating) and I like him too so I don't want to ruin things by accusing him and being a b*tch about it.

I might just say "I see you're still using dating sites, your girlfriend must suck!" in a joke kind of way because I'm not sure how else to deal with this.

If he wasn't using the site I could understand why he hasn't changed his profile to "taken" but he has logged in at least twice since we became a couple.

Miss Fluff

online21 wrote: »

If he had changed it to "in a relationship" but kept the profile on the site to stay in touch with people I would understand.

Well you're a lot more understanding than I'd be. Why on earth would he need to stay on the site to keep in touch? You don't even buy that as reasonable do you?

You're supposed to be in a relationship with this guy and he's on a dating website. You need to ask him face-to-face why he made things official between you a month ago and yet logged in to a dating site three days ago.

And as sunflower27 said, he'll probably come out with all sorts of reasons. Tbh I wouldn't be happy about this at all.

LegacyUser

Hey again everyone.
So I won't be seeing him in person until the weekend and it was bothering me so I sent him a text about it. I just said that I noticed he was still using it to which he said "I'm on it but I don't use it, stop being so paranoid" and then he sent another text straight after saying "how did you notice anyways? Are you using it?" I went on to explain that it says he logged in on Friday so he IS still using it and that he hasn't changed his status to taken or anything. He just replied again just now saying "I don't update my info on it, I don't use it"

I didn't want to be a b1tch about it because of all the drama caused with his ex recently, I don't want to seem like an insecure crazy girlfriend (he does know I have trust issues though) the only thing that bother me more now is him saying he doesn't use it! Fair enough if he logged on for whatever reason (though I can't think of any) and didn't contact girls, but why deny it when it says "last logged in"...

He just sent me another message saying "I changed it to taken now, happy?" and I just said "whatever you like" because to be honest I'm feeling a bit p1ssed off about all of this and now him making me feel like an over-paranoid freak about it.

Miss Fluff

He is behaving like a complete arse to you.

You need to have a conversation about this with him in person at the weekend. He shouldn't be on the website at all and while I know it's very early days for both, you shouldn't be in so much fear of rocking the boat that you can't discuss something so fundamental with him.

You've both decided to be exclusive. That means not dating anyone else. He should have no reason to be on the website. If he won't come off the site then I think you have your answer tbh. And stop making excuses that it's ok to log on but not contact anyone. Slippery slope. He shouldn't be on it at all.

Chucky the tree

I don't really see the problem tbh but then again different strokes and all that. I will say if he is cheating I doubt he'd be using the same site and profile he meet you on, especially if you have trust issues.