Crying after orgasming...how common is it?

LegacyUser

I'm going unreg for this as I'm a regular poster here and a wee bit embarrassed to talk about it openly as I guess it's private. This is not a PI, Mods, as I'm not worried....more curious than anything else and just wanted to see if anyone else ever felt this way....

Had sex with my boyfriend this morning and after I came, I burst out crying. I can't explain the feeling...like a release and a mixed feeling of emotions and not all of them good. I think I scared him as were only going out since April and I couldn't explain it. Sex between us is fantastic and I'm really attracted to him but after I had my cry (I got a grip fairly quickly as I was surprised by my own reaction), I felt this massive bond with him and I held him and didn't want to let him go but of course we had to get up and get on with our day and I felt sad. This kind of emotion is a little terrifying for me and I've never felt anything like that...what the hell was the crying about? Don't you cry when you're upset?

Do guys get this too?

baby and crumble

I think its way more common than anyone ever admits. Think about it, what an orgasm is is this huge build up of energy that gets released all in a flash. You can't control which emotions are there and which aren't. I think that once you become really emotionally invested in someone, you're more apt to begin to let yourself just be you, and vulnerable, which probably means releasing your emotions more. And like you said, you had this huge instinct for bonding afterwards, which is a hormonally driven response. it's natural if you ask me, and yes I've cried after orgasm a good few times. More times than my partner (who's also a girl) so I think it depends on the person.

Honey-ec

Can't say I've ever cried after an orgasm, no. I'm not a crier in general, though - I genuinely can't remember the last time I cried.

bronte

If it was intense then yeah...it depends on the humour at the time.

replica

My partner frequently cries after an orgasm...would agree that its a massive out burst of energy and emotion.

Then again she could be crying and thinking; 'Oh my God he is weoful in bed' or 'Oh my God he is brilliant in bed'

Monty Burnz

Bigwhingingbaby wrote: »

Do guys get this too?

I've never heard of it to be honest, but I'm familiar with your experience.

LegacyUser

It happened to my girlfriend once. I thought it might just have been tiredness (we'd been up for nearly 30 hours!), but the whole emotional release thing makes sense too.

gargleblaster

Monty Burnz wrote: »

I've never heard of it to be honest, but I'm familiar with your experience.

I get that you're familiar with her experience (crying after orgasm) - so I'm wondering now, what is it that you've never heard of?

Monty Burnz

gargleblaster wrote: »

I get that you're familiar with her experience (crying after orgasm) - so I'm wondering now, what is it that you've never heard of?

I never heard of men crying afterwards. I probably should have italicised 'your' to make my meaning clearer.

Ophiopogon

I've never heard of either sex doing this have to say.

I've never done it but as some else said I wouldn't be a crier in the first place,

I also don't see an orgasm as a release of emotions either so I don't really get it to be honest

sleepyescapade

It's happened to me a few times, not a big deal but it does leave you feeling a bit bewildered!

LegacyUser

This happened my Girlfriend once, and as a fella who had never experienced this I kinda wondered did I do something wrong. She assured me I didnt and couldnt have been happier, I got a massive hug off her.

(We were doing a long distance relationship thing for 6 months at the time) I went away with the thought afterward wondering in the back of my head "had she cheated on me and felt guilty".. I know my OH and know she wouldnt but the idea of her crying after coming put all sorts of thoughts into my head. As a fella all I can do is have a big smile on my face after so I couldnt understand it.

We spoke about it a year later, she remembered it, I told her what I thought at the time and she just laughed at me, was silly really. I would say though is tell your fella/partner everything is all right after, we wouldnt know where to look.

bluecatmorgana

The first place I heard of it was on scrubs when Turk apparently cried after orgasming.

If it makes you feel any better when I first started masturbating I used to have to cover my face when I orgasmed.

Lippy C

Yes its happened to me a couple times nothing to worry about its your body having a good time releasing all that energy

Its common and its happened me before loads of times, its to do with the intensity of the release and in my opinion definitely a good sign!

Honey-ec

I have to ask, against my better judgment - do some ladies orgasm so rarely that it's this huge release of pent-up emotion/tension/feeling when they do? I'm genuinely not being facetious, but it just seems to me than an orgasm shouldn't be *that* big a deal...

gargleblaster

Can't speak for others of course but AFAIC it's not because orgasms themselves are rare (thank goodness!) but due to the intensity of the orgasm, combined with the level of intimacy and closeness with the other person.

Stheno

It can be a stress comedown also just reaching a point where you think of nothing else?

Contessa Raven

I remember a couple of years ago having a conversation with two of my friends and one of them said she'd had an orgasm with her bf and cried afterwards. My other friend then said that it had happened to her too with her ex. AFAIK it's quite common but it's never happened to me.

When I asked my friends about it they said it felt like the orgasm was just so good that they cried afterwards. I always enjoy an oul' climax but I don't get the crying thing.

Elle Collins

That's very normal OP. Nothing to worry about there, in fact I'd take it as a sure sign that you're very emotionally close to your bf

LegacyUser

I've cried the odd time too (into the pillow, very quietly) but the difference was that I wasn't in a relationship with this guy, if you get me. Ahem. I didn't feel close him and I didn't want a relationship with him. I don't know if my crying meant that I was missing something, maybe the relationship as I'm single a long time. Or perhaps it was a pent up release. Who knows? But it's mighty confusing!

Rocket19

Never cried, I'm not sure if I've missed out on something! lol

I have to say that I find the idea quite strange. I just couldn't imagine doing it myself.
I've slept with two guys, and neither brought me tears! I did feel a lot for my ex-bf though, so maybe I'm just not a crier!

LegacyUser

Sorry for hijacking the thread but while we're on the subject.

Only become sexually active this year. I'm late 20s and so i know i'm a late starter. With the most amazing guy and it finally felt like right time, right person etc... & have definitely been making up for lost time over the last few months I really enjoy sex but i'm still unsure if i've ever orgasmed. If i'm honest i think half the problem is in my head. Its like I get to a certain point but then can never get over the edge if that makes sense? As I said I still really enjoy the whole thing & don't necessarily feel like something is lacking but it would be nice to experience this "big release" everyone speaks of & I know my OH would love to see that happen too. I know he sometimes feels guilty that he has climaxed and i'm left lingering in this high state of arousal that i just cant push passed.

Any insight? Tips?
Thanks

--LOS--

used to happen a lot esp I think when you have sex less often and it's not just from orgasm either. I can see how it would freak people out!

Monty Burnz

newbieO wrote: »

Any insight? Tips?
Thanks

The usual advice is to try to get there on your own first, I think. Explore and stuff.

Honey-ec

newbieO wrote: »

I really enjoy sex but i'm still unsure if i've ever orgasmed.

Then you haven't. Believe me, you'd know if you had.

As Monty Burnz said, try and get there on your own first. Once you know what techniques etc. work for you, you can ask your boyfriend to try them on you. For what it's worth, very few women achieve orgasm through penetrative sex alone.

miec

I'm genuinely not being facetious, but it just seems to me than an orgasm shouldn't be *that* big a deal...

It can be, it can be incredibly mind-blowing. Op I often cry after orgasm because it has been such an intense experience, including when I self pleasure. For me the crying is another form of release, nothing to be worried about. I also laugh intensely afterwards too, it is just what comes up at the time.

MagicMarker

Happened to an ex of mine a few times, scared the crap out of me the first time. Other than that, no big deal really. Sounds common enough.

Count Duckula

Do women really climax that much more intensely? :eek: I've never got anywhere near crying after an orgasm as a man, but it seems that maybe that's just because the whole experience is less potent. I'm jealous :pac:

Maple

It's happened to me. Now I've not bawled crying or sobbed or anything, but yes I have felt the prickle of tears at the back of the eyelids.

I think it was a combination of factors, great physical pleasure and a release of emotions and stress.

Mostly tho, I just smile afterwards or if it's particularly epic I burst out laughing. Which has sometimes proved disconcerting to my sexercise partner.

Never happened to me, beyond the usual tear reflex which also happens when I laugh a lot. But it's not actually crying, which seems to be what's under discussion here. Never heard of it before either

rainbow kirby

thewintermute banned - rape jokes are not allowed in tLL.

Piglet85

newbieO wrote: »

Sorry for hijacking the thread but while we're on the subject.

Only become sexually active this year. I'm late 20s and so i know i'm a late starter. With the most amazing guy and it finally felt like right time, right person etc... & have definitely been making up for lost time over the last few months I really enjoy sex but i'm still unsure if i've ever orgasmed. If i'm honest i think half the problem is in my head. Its like I get to a certain point but then can never get over the edge if that makes sense? As I said I still really enjoy the whole thing & don't necessarily feel like something is lacking but it would be nice to experience this "big release" everyone speaks of & I know my OH would love to see that happen too. I know he sometimes feels guilty that he has climaxed and i'm left lingering in this high state of arousal that i just cant push passed.

Any insight? Tips?
Thanks

I have to agree with Honey-ec, you'd know if you had orgasmed!

If you're relatively inexperienced, you may just not completely have figured out what works for you yet, and there's every chance that will happen in time. Otherwise, though, I wonder are you in the right headspace? The odd time it's not working for me, I find if I shut my eyes and fantasise (and I'm usually just thinking about past times with my bf that were particularly hot, but whatever works for you) that usually helps push me over the edge!

gargleblaster

Count Duckula wrote: »

Do women really climax that much more intensely? :eek: I've never got anywhere near crying after an orgasm as a man, but it seems that maybe that's just because the whole experience is less potent. I'm jealous :pac:

If something happens less often or takes much more effort to achieve, it's much more satisfying.

No need to be jealous, just work on delaying gratification. The experience will be much more intense when you do get there. Also, as a side benefit, you can last a lot longer once you become more skilled at it.

Pembily

It's never happened to me and I'm wondering why?? I cry when upset or frustrated but never when I've orgasmed

exador

I discussed this with my other half as I find it interesting. She said that she crys almost everytime and when I said I never heard her she said thats because I'm never there !
Conversation stopper -

Honey-ec

Pembily wrote: »

It's never happened to me and I'm wondering why??

I don't think there's any reason why you haven't - clearly some people do, some people don't. As long as you're orgasming, I think that's the main thing! I certainly wouldn't be worrying just because you're not bursting into tears every time.

ElleEm

Thank God for this thread- I thought this just happened to me.
I'm a really emotional person, and cry a lot (laughing, sadness, happiness etc.).

Last year, I BURST into tears after I orgasmed. I got such a fright, but it was probably the most intense sex we'd ever had (and we don't lack in intensity)! Figured it was something to do with that.
Has happened a few times since, but it's still embarrassing!

LegacyUser

ElleEm wrote: »

Thank God for this thread- I thought this just happened to me.
I'm a really emotional person, and cry a lot (laughing, sadness, happiness etc.).
!

I thought I was the only one too. You hear people on TV makng jokes about it - like in an old episode of Friends, Monica is taking the p!ss out of a guy she was with who cried after sex. So I always felt a bit over sensitive that I cried.

The way I see an orgasm is this very spiritual experience so it will always be a big deal for me. I think that's why I cry, because it is so earth shatteringly intense and nothing really compares to it. Not drugs because you are off your head, but an orgasm you feel high but you are sober.

xxtattyberxx

This has happened a few times to me, embarrassing as hell!!! First time it happened it scared the crap into me!! Mind you I was very young and inexperienced. Thought it would dissappear with age, happened again only a few weeks ago and in hindsight we broke up the next day (not over that) at least I got a kick ass orgasm out of it

Wibbs

xxtattyberxx wrote: »

happened again only a few weeks ago and in hindsight we broke up the next day (not over that) at least I got a kick ass orgasm out of it

Funny enough that happened to me with an ex. She never cried after before, but in the weeks leading up to our splitting up she did a couple of times. The subconscious emotions of seeing the end approach and the loss of the relationship bubbling up? It struck me as that after we split.

1daydreamer

newbieO wrote: »

Sorry for hijacking the thread but while we're on the subject.

Only become sexually active this year. I'm late 20s and so i know i'm a late starter. With the most amazing guy and it finally felt like right time, right person etc... & have definitely been making up for lost time over the last few months I really enjoy sex but i'm still unsure if i've ever orgasmed. If i'm honest i think half the problem is in my head. Its like I get to a certain point but then can never get over the edge if that makes sense? As I said I still really enjoy the whole thing & don't necessarily feel like something is lacking but it would be nice to experience this "big release" everyone speaks of & I know my OH would love to see that happen too. I know he sometimes feels guilty that he has climaxed and i'm left lingering in this high state of arousal that i just cant push passed.

Any insight? Tips?
Thanks

That used to be me, it has only been recently that I have been able to achieve orgasm during the act. Never had a problem as a solo act or with toys but maybe self conscious or something akin to performance anxiety. I am not sure what changed exactly, but the first time it happened I was crying and shaking and he held me for a long time, which helped. Unfortunately that relationship didn't last, and I was not sure if it could happen with someone else. Turns out that happily the answer is yes! Not only that but it is ridiculously easy now. I think more than anything it was about relaxing, not caring what you look or sound like, and trusting the other person with your body.