Dating advice

seanbranagh

OK, so I have never been much use with women, I am a biy shy with those things so at 31 I have been trying match.com.
Over a period of time I have met a few women but nothing came of that, mainly because my shyness had me doing the wrong things at the wrong time or not doing the right things at the right time.
However, on Wedensday night I met with a woman in Belfast after being in contact for a while online. I was working the next day so I was driving and not drinking. She had the next day off work and was drinking.
I did not expect to still be in the bar at closing time. I drove her home and got invited in for a cup of tea. Things got quite physical pretty quick although I decided to be a gentleman and not attempt to go the "whole nine yards" on a first meeting. It was also 2am and I was working at 9 so agreed to meet again and left.
She also agreed again the following day when she was sober. She is on holiday for a week at the minute.

That all sounds good but my issue is this, I actually don't know if I have any interest in her at all other than physical, thats the only thing I have been thinking about and by far the main reason I want to meet again.
How can I push that out of my head so I can work out if I even like her as a person?

Am I just being stupid by asking this? Should I just play it out, maybe if it continues then the physical novelty will wear off a little and I will be able to work this out?

Otis Driftwood

Moved from tGC.

55

just go with the wind.. and see where it settles you down.. no loss at all ;-) the subsription to that site is paying it off with an unexpected night that you abaslutly missed!

nicechick!

seanbranagh wrote: »

OK, so I have never been much use with women, I am a biy shy with those things so at 31 I have been trying match.com.
Over a period of time I have met a few women but nothing came of that, mainly because my shyness had me doing the wrong things at the wrong time or not doing the right things at the right time.
However, on Wedensday night I met with a woman in Belfast after being in contact for a while online. I was working the next day so I was driving and not drinking. She had the next day off work and was drinking.
I did not expect to still be in the bar at closing time. I drove her home and got invited in for a cup of tea. Things got quite physical pretty quick although I decided to be a gentleman and not attempt to go the "whole nine yards" on a first meeting. It was also 2am and I was working at 9 so agreed to meet again and left.
She also agreed again the following day when she was sober. She is on holiday for a week at the minute.

That all sounds good but my issue is this, I actually don't know if I have any interest in her at all other than physical, thats the only thing I have been thinking about and by far the main reason I want to meet again.
How can I push that out of my head so I can work out if I even like her as a person?

Am I just being stupid by asking this? Should I just play it out, maybe if it continues then the physical novelty will wear off a little and I will be able to work this out?

hmmmm go for another date who knows!! Your obviously attracted if nothing comes from it well at least with the second date you'll probably have a better grasp for your current situation and be able to making a decision!

seanbranagh

Thanks, We have already agreed to meet again although I am always paranoid, based on experience that she will change her mind. In this case though I have absolutely no reason to think this.
I am thinking of inviting her for dinner?
I enjoy a good meal out.

On a funny note, a close friend suggested I just cut the crap and arrive at her house with a McDonalds and a bottle of Vodka, not quite my idea of a romantic night though, LoL.

LegacyUser

I reckon that the reason you're asking is because you do actually only see her as a means of getting your leg over. I'm pretty inept with the opposite sex as well and if I'm honest, I've only continued to have contact with some people because for once, I had the opportunity to have a few shags, not because we had some sort of connection. Some people are either never single or they're pretty good at getting laid. Then there are people like me and possibly you, who find it harder to pull or to find someone who wants to go out with us. It does distort things.

I don't think there's any harm per se in seeing her again. It might clarify things for you. Just don't lead her on if you figure out for yourself that you and her want different things.

seanbranagh

Well, we finally got to meeting for the second time on Friday night. I am pretty sure now that my interest is not simply about getting my leg over.
Turns out there's quite a bit in common and we had a really good night.
The fact that I ws not driving this time so was able to have a few beers also helped!