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No life

LegacyUser · 2011-07-24 00:07:23

I am turning 24 in a few months and I am not happy at where my life is at the moment. I thought I would have done so much more by this stage in my life. I moved to the north for a job which is giving me great experience but it moved me away from a lot of my friends and I have been finding it hard to make new friends. The…

24-07-2011 12:07am

#1

LegacyUser

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I am turning 24 in a few months and I am not happy at where my life is at the moment. I thought I would have done so much more by this stage in my life.

I moved to the north for a job which is giving me great experience but it moved me away from a lot of my friends and I have been finding it hard to make new friends. The last time I moved away from home was to go to college and I knew no one but after a few months I knew a lot of people and loved it, was very sad leaving infact.

I dont get on all that well with my house mate so I made myself busy after work such as playing football and/or going to the gym. I head home every weekend as I just couldnt stand staying up in the house with him, he isnt that bad just gets on my nervous a lot.

I changed a lot as a person while at college and now I dont get on so well with my mates from my hometown so I never go out with them at weekends. While the lads at college I got on very well with but since we finished we have nothing to keep us all in the once place anymore and its hard to meet up as we are now based all over the place.

I dont have a social life anymore.

Also I havent had much luck with the opposite sex, it is something I have always struggled with despite having a good start. It grew from my social circle being all guys with little female interaction to not even having a social circle anymore. Its not that I havent had chances to get with girls in the recent past such as I have had girls come up and start chatting me up but I was never interested so didnt see the point or I have passed up an opportunity with a girl as my mate was also interested and didnt want him to feel bad but they dont do the same and I am left feeling like shíte.

Today I was in St. Stephens green and I saw a girl I fancied while at college and it brought back all these feelings I had for her and then I just got pissed at myself as these "feelings" where based on nothing but just her looks and a few small conversations that we had. Also was bit annoyed at myself as I was imagining the 'what if?' scenarios and I know if I had a pair of balls instead of being this shy awkward guy who is way to cautious (in fear of rejection) that I could of had these scenarios I was picturing.

Thinking back 5 years ago I thought I would have done so much more with my life but I havent and the changes I have to make I am too flipping scared to do. Such as do internet dating to meet girls or joining new clubs to make new friends.

I want to work abroad but I cannot move for a while (at least a year) as I need the experience. I am afraid that even if I did move I would be the same. If I dont change I am going to end up alone but I am sending no sings of changing and that scares me a lot.

/Rant

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