Don't know what to do, please help!!

G Bear

I'm a first time poster but id really appreciate some help. My gf and I have being going out for two years (I'm 19 she's 18) and were really closefriends before that but last night it ended. We are both going to different colleges next month (3hours apart) and it's been on my mind for months what we would do, iv agonised over it constantly. We both knew we had to talk about it eventually but kept putting it off, however yesterday it all came out at once and we both said that it wouldn't work when in college and that it would end. The sudden realisation it was really going to happen hit me harder then I imagined and I said that why put it off for a month and dragging it out only would only make it worse so last night we broke up. She was meant to stay at mine last night and go to a wedding with me on Friday next but when she asked would she still do both I said no, but I want her to... I can't bear the thought of going without her to it, it's not that I don't want to go alone but I dont want to let her go. I genuinly love her but I panicked at the thought of letting her go and just wanted to get it over with. Now though I regret it so much, iv spent the night in tears over it and I want nothing more then to go to her now. I don't want it to end and I don't know whether I should take what I did back and try to spend the next month with her or should I just accept it's over as I don't want to hurt her by messing her about. I would do anything for this girl and I want her back but I don't know what to do. Any advice or comment would be appreiciated. We were also meant to have the debs together next month.... I wish the ground would swallow me up.

I am a friend

Why did yo break up with someone if you love them? College seems a poor reason for me. What is the real reason - new girls, distance etc??

sibeen99

Would ye not have waited to see if the relationship could have worked while ye went to college? I'm sure lots of couples have survived long distance relationships! Or as I am a friend suggests is there another underlying reason for the break up? I think if you love her as much as you say you do you should tell her and maybe try to work things out or you may live to regret it!

G Bear

My reason is that I'm just afraid that we would grow apart and end up loseing each other anyways. See the distance won't help obviously and then even when we'll both be working to finance college, at the most we would see each other a couple of hours a week, this after being in the same school and doing transition year together so we saw each other every day. And this way at least I know that we won't end up falling out because of that. There was no fight or disagreement over it so I think she feels the same, just didn't expect it to be immediate.

G Bear

Thanks sunflower 27 your right it had been building up way to much. I will ring her.....it's not like iv anything to lose at this stage, I'll make sure we talk it out properly this time.

tinkerbell

OP, you really are being ridiculous and so is your girlfriend! The way you both are going on, you'd think that one of you is moving to Australia and the other is staying here. You're only 3 hours away! That's nothing! Of COURSE it can work - it can work if you both MAKE it work.

You can see each other at weekends and during the week you can talk on the phone, text, email, etc.

Why let the love of your life go because of a 3 hour distance? You're going to regret it. If it's meant to be, you will be able to make things work - if not, you won't.

Call her up and talk to her about it. Tell her how you feel. Things like this happen to couples all the time, some will get through it, others won't. Relationships are hard work, but if you are up for it then you can do it. It's not like she's in a country far away or anything.

OP - chin up and get your act together. Get back with your gf and sort it out. Don't be stupid and stay broken up because you both are afraid of the unknown.

minidazzler

OP, you probably made the smarter decision here, it's horrid trying to organise times to see eachother and talk to eachother on the phone when you are that far apart. Between making and socialising with new friends, the course work and all the other time consuming activities and such it is better to go in with a fresh start. You love her, I get that, but there will be other loves, I don't believe in this "meant to be" "love of your life" crock at all, but I do believe in Love.

Making a distance like that work means you will probably skype on a regular basis, you will sometimes decide to not go out with new friends because you want to stay in and have the same old conversations you have had. My advice is to just let it go, in the end with the distance, an emotional distance will most likely follow. You're both very young, there are others out there, to stay with each other during the first few months of college will make it harder to break into new groups of friends for both of you.

Herrick

OP, if ye are still into each other, then you need to give it a try. If you both want it enough you'll make it work. Don't give up!