When should you say whats bugging you

LegacyUser

Will keep this as brief and simple as possible. I'm 25f. Went out with a guy few years ago, we broke up but continued hooking up, was crazy about him but had to be done. Have toxic friend lets call her Karen and the ex Mick. So Karen stirred a load of **** between me and ex, she was there when I cried myself to sleep over him. She'd ring him and say things like whats the story with you and her i'm so sick of her going on about you. Even said to him one day you know we'd get on a lot better than yourself and (me), she's a really nice girl. Only reason I can think of this is they were both in to drugs at this time(my reason for dumping him). Anyways fast forward a while later Karen went off for a couple of years. I had a bf Mick had a gf. Then he broke up with her I broke with my bf we got back talking and were friendly I kissed him a couple of times and would chat to him, even stayed in his house. He would ask me down some times late but I would say No sorry you only want one thing etc. So things were on friendly terms grand, for personal reasons thats a whole other story I deleted him and Karen and other ppl from FB. I'd fallen out with Karen big time. Then she kept sending friend requests and I knew she'd be home soon so I said right i'll be the bigger person and get along with her so accepted. Shes home now and has been clinging out of my ex the whole time, seems they're great pals. I feel really hurt over this, she only knows him through me and knows how upset i'd be over this. She always clings out of any of our friends exes/bfs etc. I just can't bare thinking if they're together are they friends? Its really getting to me. Should I say something?

55

well, let her be with him - at least it gives you a valid reason to stay away from your druggie-no-future ex. period

LegacyUser

55 wrote: »

well, let her be with him - at least it gives you a valid reason to stay away from your druggie-no-future ex. period

He's not into that anymore.

Wompa1

Samehurtalloveragain wrote: »

He's not into that anymore.

Sounds like neither of them have much respect for you I'm afraid. Him calling you late and the like, her knowingly trying to get at you. If I was you I'd erase them out of my life and forget about them. You'll meet a much nicer guy.

curlzy

Hey OP,

Sorry but it sounds like you love drama. Why would you be messing around with someone you broke up with over drug taking? Why would you be friends with someone you don't like, who you describe as "toxic"? You need to grow up a bit here and take control of who you're friends with. If you want to continue living in the middle of emotion upheaval and drama then do nothing and continue on. If you don't want that, then cut those people out of your life and move on, you've done it once before so just do it again. If I were you I'd let them get together, 2 nasty people will inevitably be nasty to each other, revenge .

Best of luck

LegacyUser

curlzy wrote: »

Hey OP,

Sorry but it sounds like you love drama. Why would you be messing around with someone you broke up with over drug taking? Why would you be friends with someone you don't like, who you describe as "toxic"? You need to grow up a bit here and take control of who you're friends with. If you want to continue living in the middle of emotion upheaval and drama then do nothing and continue on. If you don't want that, then cut those people out of your life and move on, you've done it once before so just do it again. If I were you I'd let them get together, 2 nasty people will inevitably be nasty to each other, revenge .

Best of luck

Sorry but I hate drama and don't appreciate the judgement. I was crazy about this guy and there's more to him than just the drug taking. Like I said he stopped all that a good while ago. I said I would try and be civil with this girl as we have the same group of friends we don't have each others numbers or meet up but meet at social events. It's nothing to do with drama I am genuinely hurting, i'm not going to apologise for still having a soft spot for this guy. And it really bugs me when people use the word "drama" when talking about things that are genuinely important to someone. He's not actually nasty. Her I would have expected it from, but not from him.

LegacyUser

Id leave them both alone OP. You trusted your gut and cut contact with them both in the past and it seems like you'd have been better off to keep it that way. You were harrangued by this girl on facebook to accept her as a "friend" but shes not really your friend and neither is he. It must be a kick in the teeth to see then together so Id suggest you forget about trying to be friends and look after yourself and stay away from them both.

LegacyUser

Thanks guys,

I just can't believe she is still able to upset me like this. She knows I was head over heels for this guy and will probably always have a soft spot for him. This is only a fraction of some of the **** she's done on me. I thought the fact she was hounding me to be her friend that maybe she wanted to make ammends I said i'd give her the benefit of the doubt. Even small things like him liking her status on FB is like a knife in the side, but if I delete her it's just showing reaction. She's unreal, she never acknowledges any wrong doing and acts like we are completely normal, yet if you do even the slightest thing on her she will make your life hell. I'm convinced she's a narcissist.