Born again Christians: We have the craic, so you don't have to

FinnLizzy

In my secondary school, we were occasionally called to assemblies where some cool looking fcuker would give us a talk about his life.
They'd usually talk about how they were involved in; gangs, sex, orgies, drink, drugs, satanism, etc. They'd go on to talk about how they were saved by God and now have their life back on track.
They're all so very cheesey, and I always think that half of them had better lives and more craic before they turned into douches.

Did you ever get this crap in secondary school?

Wolfe Tone

Nigh on every time they are happier now then they were with their "rock star lifestyle"


Having lived it I guess they are better suited to say how much craic it was.

Turtwig

Honestly we had tonne of the addiction type talks and plays in my school but the thing is I cannot even once remember paying attention to the stage or speaker. So, I'm not sure if they had a religious bent or not.

philologos

FinnLizzy

Wolfe Tone wrote: »

Nigh on every time they are happier now then they were with their "rock star lifestyle"


Having lived it I guess they are better suited to say how much craic it was.

The worst part is the patronising message that 'even though we did worse stuff than you, we're getting into heaven because we love Jesus'.

Turtwig

philologos wrote: »

http://themetapicture.com/media/funny-gif-michael-jackson-eating-popcorn.gif

Care to share your story with us philogos?:pac:

Ghost Buster

My secondary school had a real hard on for this stuff in my day. We even had an evangelical type, from Norn Iron naturally, come in to talk to us about the evils of rock music. He used to play with Van Morrisson and after about 10 minutes abut Satanism and drugs in rock music he started to froth for half an hour about Queen, Mick Jagger, Cliff Richards and assorted others being HOMERSEXTUALS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I thought it was hilarious at the time but thinking back now it was really freaky.
The same school is now non denominational.

MagicMarker

Malty_T wrote: »

Care to share your story with us philogos?:pac:

He's the one that does the talks in schools probably.

philologos

MagicMarker wrote: »

He's the one that does the talks in schools probably.

Nah, I haven't stepped in a school since I left mine a few years ago

I don't deny my faith to anyone I meet, it's an intrinsic part of who I am as a person. Generally on most occasions it is other people who ask me about my faith first rather than the other way around. I'm happy to tell people who are willing to know about what I perceive as Christianity just as I'm sure you'd be happy to tell people if they ask you about atheism.

Malty T: I'm just interested to see what people are going to say here.

OP: Before I was mildly interested in Christianity I had a Pentecostal teacher for R.E in third year who in the first class gave his testimony. I was slightly bemused, but ultimately left it until later to think about it more extensively for myself.

Dades

We had ex alcoholics/addicts etc in our school but I don't ever remember any of them having a message other than don't get sucked into drugs/drink.

The Internet Explorer

I fear for mankind.

FinnLizzy

Ghost Buster wrote: »

My secondary school had a real hard on for this stuff in my day. We even had an evangelical type, from Norn Iron naturally, come in to talk to us about the evils of rock music. He used to play with Van Morrisson and after about 10 minutes abut Satanism and drugs in rock music he started to froth for half an hour about Queen, Mick Jagger, Cliff Richards and assorted others being HOMERSEXTUALS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I thought it was hilarious at the time but thinking back now it was really freaky.
The same school is now non denominational.

Haha, we had a very fun preist talk to a crowd of us. He got a few laughs and was very light hearted.
He started to highlight the plight of modern teens, the stuff we were already familiar with (sex, drugs, alcohal).
Then, the daft fecker started talking about black mass, goths, tarat cards, ouija boards, Cradle of Filth and SLAYER! These were the things that he thought were of the most importance. I never even seen a ouija board!

Don't remember anything from primary school apart from the usual chistian brainwashing, and did not go to religious secondary schools so we never got any talks from guest speakers

Oh no wait, we got a general anti drugs one once, that was it

rainbow kirby

We had one about chastity when I was in Transition Year. It was fcuking hilarious.

FinnLizzy

rainbow kirby wrote: »

We had one about chastity when I was in Transition Year. It was fcuking hilarious.

It would have to be a girl's school, because that sh1t wouldn't go down well in a boy's school! Haha

rainbow kirby

FinnLizzy wrote: »

It would have to be a girl's school

It was, and it didn't go down particularly well there either!

strobe

I do remember we had an ex-alcoholic from AA come in to our school in 3rd year, I think, to give us a talk. He spoke for about twenty minutes and then stopped to ask if anyone had any questions so far. Some chap Leslie put his hand up and when he asked him what he wanted he just roared out at the top of his Tallaght head lungs "Is dis spose ta be some sort a fuckin' Jesus thing bud?".

That's the only one I really remember. I don't think those young hip evangelical type guys would have made it out alive if they'd have been invited down to be honest.

FinnLizzy

rainbow kirby wrote: »

It was, and it didn't go down particularly well there either!

They're obsessed with the aul sex alright. In the same way an annorexic is obsessed with food.

philologos

Here's a question for you all. Were there any evangelicals in your year in school? Or was it always a teacher or someone who visited?

Galvasean

FinnLizzy wrote: »

In my secondary school, we were occasionally called to assemblies where some cool looking fcuker would give us a talk about his life.
They'd usually talk about how they were involved in; gangs, sex, orgies, drink, drugs, satanism, etc. They'd go on to talk about how they were saved by God and now have their life back on track.

I bet he sat like this too...

rainbow kirby

philologos wrote: »

Here's a question for you all. Were there any evangelicals in your year in school? Or was it always a teacher or someone who visited?

Not in my year at secondary school. It was always visitors for us, though there was one religion teacher who pretty much turned into the Catholic version of a nutty evangelical after she went to World Youth Day 2000.

CiaranMT

Not in school, but there is an evangelical Christian (non-demominational) on my course in college. Loveliest girl you could meet, always hits the high grades, and yet....

She believes the universe is 6/10,000 years old

axer

Believe it or not we had a guy in to talk to us about the dangers of cults and that we should think for ourselves. Kinda ironic considering it was a catholic school run by priests!

mark renton

is that a picture of Nando up there?

Zombrex

In our school we got a few of the

I was a crack addict sleeping on the floor of an abandoned building giving handjobs for drug money until Jesus showed me I could do more with my life.

Really? You needed Jesus to tell you that ...

They all still looked like they had serious mental health problems, all manic and overly professing how they had changed their lives and YOU COULD TOO JUST EMBRACE JESUS OH GOD I LOVE JESUS!! I JUST FREAKING LOVE HIM SO SO MUCH.

AhSureTisGrand

Guy from Scotland who was sleeping with a different woman every night, then got saved by Jesus because his mammy made him. He made us repent for all our sexual relations, with others and with ourselves. He told us how condoms don't work (they worked for him, the shly bastard) and how he passed genital warts on to his own baby. Also sex is like a fire, and marriage is like a fireplace, and without marriage your sex will burn the whole house down or something.

Later a guy with a guitar told us about how he was an alcoholic but Jesus etc... Then he played some Metallica for us. In fairness he was pretty cool by the standards.

Edit: Actually now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure most of his talk was highly blasphemous

robindch

FinnLizzy wrote: »

In my secondary school, we were occasionally called to assemblies where some cool looking fcuker would give us a talk about his life

Nah, I went to a monastery school where they were real leery about evangelicals.

That said, I remember some guy from Nornirand who showed up around third year, early 1980's, and gave an hour-long, high-energy sermon on ecuminism during some Sunday mass. Said what a great idea ecuminism would be. Fulfillment of god's plan for mankind. Had the support of bishops, pastors, priests and laity. Biblical support too. Peace for all, 'specially all those saps in Nornirand going to segregated schools, especially those ones which were completely unlike the segregated school he was sermonizing to. The patter involved a large green telephone on the altar too; a phone to which he would repair from time to time from the lectern for instructions and propitious glances skywards.

A very weird sermon only made slightly more meaningful when I learned what "ecuminism" meant, perhaps five years later.

swiftblade

Or the crazy right wing catholics from America/Canada. We got lots of them. All nutters and very conservative. Heck, they wouldn't even talk to me when they found out I was an atheist.

We did have one guy who was an ex drug addict. Said he had a vision from christ that told him to go clean. Of coarse he was talking LSD, Crack ect, but that had nothing to do with his "vision"...

Galvasean

AhSureTisGrand wrote: »

Guy from Scotland who was sleeping with a different woman every night, then got saved by Jesus because his mammy made him. He made us repent for all our sexual relations, with others and with ourselves. He told us how condoms don't work (they worked for him, the shly bastard) and how he passed genital warts on to his own baby. Also sex is like a fire, and marriage is like a fireplace, and without marriage your sex will burn the whole house down or something.

Was he a paedo?

AhSureTisGrand

Galvasean wrote: »

Was he a paedo?

I was thinking that as I typed it. I can't rule it out

Galvasean

I guess he converted to Catholicism so! :pac:

I'll let myself out...

Turtwig

Galvasean wrote: »

Was he a paedo?

My thoughts exactly. Well almost..
It's child abuser.:mad:

Sorry I just don't like the way we ostracise paedophiles by equating it with child abuse. The two are not the same thing.

Tonyandthewhale

Had some hard-man type o' fella who was on drugs and sin for years then turned his life around thanks to Jesus and wrote a book about it. He came in to us in first year and gave us a crushingly boring hour-long talk about his life with really overt "buy my book kids" over-tones throughout.

Inexplicably he showed up again in 5th year and gave the exact same talk to the exact same people.

There were also a crowd of Americans and NornIrelandish who came into us in 4th year and told us about their drug addiction, the joy of jesus and how we should look out for women and protect them (massive argument ensued).

Galvasean

Malty_T wrote: »

My thoughts exactly. Well almost..
It's child abuser.:mad:

Sorry I just don't like the way we ostracise paedophiles by equating it with child abuse. The two are not the same thing.

Apologies. It would appear I have been taken in by the Zeitgeist.

Zombrex

To be hones the talks in school were more a window to the type of people who as susceptible to religious thinking than any insight into the actual religion. Most of them we had could barely tell you who Jesus was, let alone in depth discussion on theology.

I wish I had been as knowledgable then as I am now, would have made for a lively discussion.

amacachi

Had a guy in in 5th year who was a smackhead and turned his life around. Seemed a sound guy and not too preachy but it was during a week of religion-based things for all the schools in town. The other stuff during that week was funny though, a "battle of the bands" kinda thing which I think was when I'd just gotten into harder drugs, no teachers there thankfully. :pac:

In my school the older women teachers generally tried to start with a prayer with some dirty looks for someone who ignored it followed by a few days of being cold. Also when my sister who was repeating the LC didn't want to go to a mass because she was atheist the principal said she'd grow out of such "fanciful notions" soon. :pac: In about 5-10 years there'll just be 2-3 Jesus freaks still in that school I assume.

FinnLizzy

swiftblade wrote: »

Or the crazy right wing catholics from America/Canada. We got lots of them. All nutters and very conservative. Heck, they wouldn't even talk to me when they found out I was an atheist.

We did have one guy who was an ex drug addict. Said he had a vision from christ that told him to go clean. Of coarse he was talking LSD, Crack ect, but that had nothing to do with his "vision"...

Jaysus, don't get me started on the amount of yanks that came to our school! Making Catholicism fresh and energetic by having hip, young ones with guitars ripping off classic riffs from more established bands and adding Jesus lyrics.
We also had a school band. A four piece, I considered joining because I needed an outlet in school to play guitar. But they only played at school mass turning prayer into easy listening cock rock.
They were sh1t as hell, but the funny thing was at least two of them were atheist. They just wanted to play music.

Chuck Stone

Jesus becomes the narcotic.

Siuin

rainbow kirby wrote: »

We had one about chastity when I was in Transition Year. It was fcuking hilarious.

So did we- it was so embarrassing- he announced to us all that he was nearly 30 and a virgin, and there was the most uncomfortable silence followed by some tittering in the back. It seems from the females who were talking about why they wanted to 'reclaim their virginity' that they'd just had fcuked up sexual experiences in the past and their only solution was to go to the other extreme.
Exactly like this Scottish guy:

AhSureTisGrand wrote: »

Guy from Scotland who was sleeping with a different woman every night, then got saved by Jesus because his mammy made him. He made us repent for all our sexual relations, with others and with ourselves. He told us how condoms don't work (they worked for him, the shly bastard) and how he passed genital warts on to his own baby. Also sex is like a fire, and marriage is like a fireplace, and without marriage your sex will burn the whole house down or something

Any weirdo Christian who believes in magical talking snakes and people being eaten by whales only to break free later shouldn't be allowed around kids

Delirium

we had a lot of Christian made movies about the dangers of alcohol shown to us.

We also had a former alcoholic come in and explain how he found Jesus and no longer drank. At the same time, I sitting in class wondering how my very religious step-mother is such a drunk. Guess she didn't love Jesus enough :rolleyes:

MissFlitworth

Never had any visiting evangelicals (the worst of it was when Mars brought in the World Hacky Sack champion & we had to sit in the gym for a bout half an hour watching him go 'woooot', 'who the bomb' & 'respect the sack') but we did have an evangelical religion teacher (had been stabbed in the chest & saved by Jesus) who we spent many afternoons stuck with listening to why catholicism made more sense than any other religion.

We also had a sub religion teacher at one stage who, I think, was a closet scientologist. We did a project on world religions & she was very insistent that for the Scientology part we pop into their office on Middle Abbey street with any questions we might have as she found them super friendly & helpful

Dades

robindch wrote: »

A very weird sermon only made slightly more meaningful when I learned what "ecuminism" meant, perhaps five years later.

I still had to look it up.

MissFlitworth wrote: »

we did have an evangelical religion teacher (had been stabbed in the chest & saved by Jesus paramedics)

FYP.

Dades

Actually, I've just remembered we got to watch The Cross and the Switchblade a few times in RE class.

But that movie really did motivate me.

I bought a real switchblade in a French seaside market that Summer and it was the coolest thing ever.

Turtwig

At least no here got Heaven's Gate and Hell's Flame? We should count ourselves very lucky.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oH3GMTofmkY

Btw, this is one of its nicer productions. Some are downright disgusting.

That Handsome Devil

Galvasean wrote: »

I bet he sat like this too...

"Come on now, lets rap. Don't worry, I'm totally down with y'all kids, just remember it can be super fly to follow Jesus too!" :cool::P

FinnLizzy

Malty_T wrote: »

At least no here got Heaven's Gate and Hell's Flame? We should count ourselves very lucky.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oH3GMTofmkY

Btw, this is one of its nicer productions. Some are downright disgusting.

Yeah! Shoot him! SHOOT HIM! Oh wait.....

Turtwig

FinnLizzy wrote: »

Yeah! Shoot him! SHOOT HIM! Oh wait.....

If you're feeling brave look up the one on drugs...

MariaBlaah

i went to a presentation secondary school that still has 2 nuns in it (a lot now a days!!) we got a lot of talks/workshops on drug abuse, alcohol abuse, drink driving, sexual health. got these talks maybe 3/4 times a year. we got to go out to seminars as well and despite it being a catholic school not once did any of the speakers say anything about any type of transiant saving them! i thought they played a huge part in learning and i feel that its necessary for every student to have talks like that. we had gardai in and parents of young people who had died after car crashes etc. it was made clear to us at the beginning of each talk that we did not have to stay.

also i think that the title of this thread is really condescending. (if thats the right word in this context!) my best friend is born again, and she has no less "craic" than the rest of us on a night out! she'd be more out there that a lot of my other friends.. including me! she is more reserved about sex but plenty of people are shy about it. at least she doesnt pretend to be someone shes not. she doesnt go around preaching her beliefs, only talks about her religion when we ask her questions. sometimes i feel jealous! the amount of people they have met through "jesus camp" (her sisters words :P) is amazing! i think its a great community. yes, there are extremists, they are there in every aspect of society, but i think its unfair to put everybody under the same umbrella

FinnLizzy

Malty_T wrote: »

If you're feeling brave look up the one on drugs...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VzAbr2VZnhU

Oh please send me a link! I found this one on teen violence, and it totally reflects my middle-America gangster lifestyle!

MariaBlaah

MariaBlaah wrote: »

at least she doesnt pretend to be someone shes not.

MariaBlaah

@bluewolf

sorry, just felt the need to defend her as the opinion seems to be that all people that are members of the more "extreme" christian organisations devout every waking second to sucking up to jesus. i said that because people i know bitch about her because shes honest and doesnt act how they want her to or how they believe a BA should behave. i shouldnt have said it, has nothing to do with the thread but i usually just say whatever im thinking at the time!