What should I do?

LegacyUser

I'm just wondering if anybody else has been in this situation?

I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year and were a fairly happy couple. We get on great, we never fight and we spend a lot of time together.

Lately, I'm not sure why, almost everything he says has started to irritate me.

He has said it to me that when he suggests something etc I snap at him and make him feel stupid so I started thinking about it and realized I have been doing a lot in the last few weeks. It's like suddenly I have no patience with him at all.

Even if he asks a semi-stupid question or says something with out thinking I get a sudden rush of anger and I snap the head off him! I've tried to stop but I can't seem to. I really need advice because I hate the fact that I'm hurting his feelings and I hate the awkwardness after I get annoyed at him.

Why does this happen? Is it just me being a hormonal b***h?!

gargleblaster

You're the only person who can answer that question I'm afraid. If it's been happening for weeks I doubt it's hormones, though.

Did something change in your relationship before this started? Were there any significant changes in your life?

I am a friend

Are you short tempered with other people at the moment?

Miss Fluff

Val-val wrote: »

I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year and were a fairly happy couple. We get on great, we never fight and we spend a lot of time together.

How much is a lot of time? Do you think he's getting on your nerves because you're living in one another's pockets and spending too much time together?

LegacyUser

I don't think anything has significantly changed with us? Nothing I can think of anyway.

And it's becoming basically all of the time now. In every conversation he'll make a suggestion like "oh why don't you ask such and such" and I'll get so annoyed and be like "I already told you why!!"

I just sound so patronizing when I'm talking to him and I can't seem to stop even when I try.

I wouldn't say I'm like that with everyone. I can be a bit short with people if their trying my patience but I wouldn't snap at them that fast!

I am a friend

Val-val wrote: »

I wouldn't say I'm like that with everyone. I can be a bit short with people if their trying my patience but I wouldn't snap at them that fast!

Familiarity breeds contempt

LegacyUser

I really don't want it to be like this. I got a phone call from him this evening and I was trying my best not to be grouchy but several times he said something that really grinded my gears and I couldn't help myself!

How does he put up with me...

LegacyUser

Looks like the honeymoon period is over and you're at that point where you decide if you have a future with your boyfriend.

You don't mention anything about being in love with him. Do you love him? or are you just with him out of convenience?

Maybe you're just bored of him and the relationship is coming to an end, being annoyed by every little thing he does is usually how it starts, the beginning of the end.
Maybe it's time to find someone else who doesn't irritate you. Maybe he's just not the one for you. It happens.

Taltos

Are you under stress in work or in your life?
Unfortunately I go through bouts of this but luckily my OH lets me know immediately when I start sliding - I get some grace period but then it is cop the fook on...

If not stress then you need to get at the root cause.
His suggestions are NOT the cause here - they are merely the trigger, something else is driving this.

Could be:
> You are looking for a way out and hoping he will dump you
> You really aren't happy with yourself and are trying to sabotage this relationship
> Maybe you had a fight a while ago and while you have moved on it has caused some underlying resentment
Or more...

First - figure out if you are really happy in the relationship and see it going places. If you do then sit down and talk to him - ask him to use a key word or just to call you on it as soon as you start being a b1tch. Remember sometimes we hurt those we love because we know we do.

Hope you work it out if that is what you want.

curlzy

Hey OP,

I've been in that situation. My bf is an absolutely lovely guy and doesn't deserve it at all and never has.

I found it was just me being a bitch, I put a stop to it very quickly because at the end of the day I'm responsible for my actions. So what did I do when I felt like that? I shut the f*ck up, that's what. We're all capable of being grouchy but we're all also in control of our actions, saying "I can't help it" is a total cop out. Next time you open your mouth to say something grouchey or sarcastic or mean just shut it again, simples, bite your tongue literally if you have to. If your relationship is good then you're being a very silly girl by jeopardising it by letting yourself act in the way you are.

You more than likely fell into the same trap I did, namely taking your OH for granted. I've a strong personality and can be quite abrasive at times but I like to think I'm also self aware so when I noticed me getting sarcastic, mean, snappy with my bf I decided to put an end to it. At the end of the day I would never put up with it so why would I expect him to? Have a think OP, would you let your OH treat you the way you're treating him? No, well then you're letting yourself as well as him down by not treating him as he deserves. Show him the respect to get your tongue under control and stop being mean.

I noticed the urge to say those things stopped once I didn't allow myself to say them anymore. You're not justified in behaving that way so stop telling yourself you are, just because he puts up with it doesn't make it ok.

So yeah TLDR: Stop being a bitch just because you can get away with it:D.

Best of luck.

LegacyUser

These replies have helped me a lot! Time to start biting my tongue...

I'm definitely taking him for granted.

I'm going to make an effort to stop, and if I can't maybe I need to start thinking about why I do it.....

curlzy

Val-val wrote: »

These replies have helped me a lot! Time to start biting my tongue...

I'm definitely taking him for granted.

I'm going to make an effort to stop, and if I can't maybe I need to start thinking about why I do it.....

Good woman, it does get easier quite quickly. You could also do some nice things to make it up to him. I made it up to my boyfriend, a quicky some mornings before work is a great way to say I love you and appreciate you .