Sucker for Liars

L.Jenkins

So I've come to realise recently, that as above, I am the biggest fool of all. It's not a problem that necessarily gets me down, but písses me off more so than anything else. I just think I am way to easy going and it's a means to allowing people walk all over me.

I can recount so many occasions in which, I've been lied to by an Ex and now a friend (Apparently). What has made me sit up and realise how foolish I am, is the extent to which a friend lies and it's gone beyond believeable to become nothing more than a fúcking disgrace. I've been told some unholy untruths, but what I've heard as of late would see this woman saying far more than a few prays if I could only bring her to task for it.

Before I should consider whether some of what I've be told is truth, it's very hard to believe after much digging and finding alot of inconsistancies and holes in her back story.

Now the question, should I allow this to run its course and just drift apart from this woman or confront her?

Ickle Magoo

Well, how do you want to deal with it? Do you want to be upfront and confront and draw a line under it or you are beyond caring/just hope it all goes away with minimum fuss?

premierlass

ItsThatManAgain wrote: »

So I've come to realise recently, that as above, I am the biggest fool of all. It's not a problem that necessarily gets me down, but písses me off more so than anything else. I just think I am way to easy going and it's a means to allowing people walk all over me.

I can recount so many occasions in which, I've been lied to by an Ex and now a friend (Apparently). What has made me sit up and realise how foolish I am, is the extent to which a friend lies and it's gone beyond believeable to become nothing more than a fúcking disgrace. I've been told some unholy untruths, but what I've heard as of late would see this woman saying far more than a few prays if I could only bring her to task for it.

Before I should consider whether some of what I've be told is truth, it's very hard to believe after much digging and finding alot of inconsistancies and holes in her back story.

Now the question, should I allow this to run its course and just drift apart from this woman or confront her?

Oh really? And how do you propose to do this?

You sound rather paranoid, and I'd have to wonder why exactly you are digging into someone's background?

It depends what you want the outcome to be. There would only be a point to a confrontation if you weren't going to automatically discount everything she said.

L.Jenkins

To be perfectly honest, I'm beyond caring. I don't mind cutting people some slack for their carry-on, but when they take advantage, then I have a problem. There's only so much that can be said, so I will say what has to be said and leave it at that.

premierlass

ItsThatManAgain wrote: »

To be perfectly honest, I'm beyond caring. I don't mind cutting people some slack for their carry-on, but when they take advantage, then I have a problem. There's only so much that can be said, so I will say what has to be said and leave it at that.

Sounds like a good plan.

L.Jenkins

premierlass wrote: »

Oh really? And how do you propose to do this?

The problem with the internet is, people leave a scatter of information about themselves on it and then forget it's there. A simple search given what information I did have gave me the rest. From there I was able to confirm or disprove and facts I already was given. All I can do is present what I know to her and see how much further she can dig. That's not necessarily some thing I feel like doing though. Smile, nod and say no more. The bulb will eventually come on and she'll get the message.

premierlass

ItsThatManAgain wrote: »

The problem with the internet is, people leave a scatter of information about themselves on it and then forget it's there. A simple search given what information I did have gave me the rest. From there I was able to confirm or disprove and facts I already was given. All I can do is present what I know to her and see how much further she can dig. That's not necessarily some thing I feel like doing though. Smile, nod and say no more. The bulb will eventually come on and she'll get the message.

Because everyone is exactly as they represent themselves on the internet, including you, I presume.

Frankly, if you would rather Google-stalk her than talk to her, it's been doomed for a long time, I would have thought.

So you're not confronting her - because you're afraid the message won't be what you've decided ahead of time? You seem very comfortable with your prejudices.

L.Jenkins

premierlass wrote: »

Because everyone is exactly as they represent themselves on the internet, including you, I presume.

Frankly, if you would rather Google-stalk her than talk to her, it's been doomed for a long time, I would have thought.

I know for a fact that not myself or anyone is how they present themselves on the internet. The indepth digging is a result of knowing that much of what I've been told stinks of bullshít.

premierlass

ItsThatManAgain wrote: »

I know for a fact that not myself or anyone is how they present themselves on the internet. The indepth digging is a result of knowing that much of what I've been told stinks of bullshít.

Well, why are you asking for advice, then? You've already made your decision. Good thing you avoided the potential discomfort of talking.

L.Jenkins

Just need to clear my head and yes advice would be nice. But I'd rather step back from it for awhile and think.

premierlass

ItsThatManAgain wrote: »

Just need to clear my head and yes advice would be nice. But I'd rather step back from it for awhile and think.

My advice, if you really want it, is to ask her for an account of what you find suspicious and you can judge whether you think her to be genuine or not. I had a situation recently where I thought someone was messing me about but I came to the conclusion that maybe it wasn't the case. But you're judging based on situations in your past.

Feel free to ignore, of course. It's only my opinion.

L.Jenkins

Thanks for that. It's just that I find a lot of inconsistancies so I can ask her and see what she says.

gargleblaster

I would only confront someone if they were very, very dear to me - and that doesn't describe many people at all.

My personal preference would be to just let them drift away, or in some cases just cut all contact. I might be severe in this, but I just can't be bothered with putting up with people I know to be outright liars. Getting things mixed up or misunderstandings are one thing, but just telling outright lies for whatever reason is, for me, a giant red flag.

premierlass

By the way, I didn't think of this before, but if it's hearsay and something potentially damaging to her reputation, you'd be doing her a favour to let her know on the off-chance that it's not true.