help

LegacyUser

ok so i am in my mid twenties, going out with a guy for 5 years and live together. a few months ago i was at a party with my boyf,wasnt feeling well so went to bed, my boyf stayed up with my best friend and a few other guys. i heard shouting just as i was about to fall asleep and found my best friend bawling crying, because one of the lads had called her every name under the sun. when i asked what had happened she wouldnt say, meanwhile my boyf had gone home and rang me on the way saying he didnt know i was in bed there so he had followed me home, i said i would stay put and meet him next day.
so i never found out what had happened that night until a few weeks ago...my best friend, while drunk told me that one of the lads thought they had seen her and my boyfriend together in the hallway the night of the party, she never said what exactly they were supposed to have done and denied anything ever happened-so i thought it was a misunderstanding and she said that the guy who had seen them had since apologised for accusing them(??)
anyway i then confronted my boyf...when i asked did anything happen he said he couldnt remember because they were all so drunk, i said that was not good enough and broke up with him for a few days before getting back together. i was annoyed that even if nothing had happened he should have told me about the accusation weeks before anyway.
we have tried to work things out but i dont know if i can trust him-i know that my boyfriend is a good person, and would never intentionally hurt me, but my best friend has a history of cheating on her boyfriend at any given moment and the guy who supposedly saw something is a trustworthy genuine guy (who has since told me he didnt see anything happen??)
sorry if this is hard to follow...just want to hear your opinions on what i should do or who to believe?

Wompa1

avemaria wrote: »

ok so i am in my mid twenties, going out with a guy for 5 years and live together. a few months ago i was at a party with my boyf,wasnt feeling well so went to bed, my boyf stayed up with my best friend and a few other guys. i heard shouting just as i was about to fall asleep and found my best friend bawling crying, because one of the lads had called her every name under the sun. when i asked what had happened she wouldnt say, meanwhile my boyf had gone home and rang me on the way saying he didnt know i was in bed there so he had followed me home, i said i would stay put and meet him next day.
so i never found out what had happened that night until a few weeks ago...my best friend, while drunk told me that one of the lads thought they had seen her and my boyfriend together in the hallway the night of the party, she never said what exactly they were supposed to have done and denied anything ever happened-so i thought it was a misunderstanding and she said that the guy who had seen them had since apologised for accusing them(??)
anyway i then confronted my boyf...when i asked did anything happen he said he couldnt remember because they were all so drunk, i said that was not good enough and broke up with him for a few days before getting back together. i was annoyed that even if nothing had happened he should have told me about the accusation weeks before anyway.
we have tried to work things out but i dont know if i can trust him-i know that my boyfriend is a good person, and would never intentionally hurt me, but my best friend has a history of cheating on her boyfriend at any given moment and the guy who supposedly saw something is a trustworthy genuine guy (who has since told me he didnt see anything happen??)
sorry if this is hard to follow...just want to hear your opinions on what i should do or who to believe?

I'd give the genuine guy another crack. Talk to him in private and just say that you are going to trust him and what he tells you but you need to know the honest truth because you don't want to waste your time with a cheater. Tell him you won't tell your b/f that he was the one that told you, if you think that's stopping him...

curlzy

Totally agree with Wompa there. Talk to the genuine guy in private without your bf knowing and tell him that you won't tell your bf what he said. The fact she was screaming crying and that he didn't mention the accusation would be major red flags to me.

I also would be wary of a friend like that, if she screws over lovers like that what's to stop her doing it to friends?

I am a friend

avemaria wrote: »

broke up with him for a few days before getting back together. i was annoyed that even if nothing had happened he should have told me about the accusation weeks before anyway.

I dont know if you will ever get to the bottom of this but does your bf, of 5 years deserve to be dumped based on so little information. If i were him, I would be asking if you could be trusted or if you would, at the drop of a hat dump him again....

I think you will ask everyone and you wont ever be satisfied with the answers you get but maybe its worth a go.

LegacyUser

yeah i dunno what to do...the thing is that the genuine guy, my boyf and that girl are the only people who know what happened, nobody else saw anything cos apparently it happened in the hall. if i ask genuine guy he has a lot to lose, as he is best friends with my boyfriend and has other commitments to him, if i find out for definite what happened then my boyfriend will know that his best friend told me! such a dilemma...my boyfriend was so drunk that night i honestly believe he cant remember but obviously thats not an excuse!! as for my friend, well she makes me sick with her constant cheating and i havent been in contact with her since... i dunno why she couldnt tell me outright what had happened and we couldve laughed it off! and just to point out my boyfriend can trust me 100%, he has never had any reason not to as i have barely looked at another man since we got together and it is not a regular occurence that i dump him at the drop of a hat. the reason i broke up with him was because of his dishonesty when i asked him for weeks what the fight was about that night at the party and he replied he didnt know. that coupled with recent excessive drinking to that extreme pissed me off!! anyway we are back together and everything is ok...just wish i knew the whole story so i could try sort my head, friendship and relationship out properly.

I am a friend

You need to sit eye to eye with your friend and ask her.....