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Insecurities

  • 19-07-2011 1:39pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hey everyone! I'm a 21 yr old girl and I don't know why but I am really, really insecure. It started when I was around 13 - something I thought I'd grow out of but in the last few months it just seems to be getting worse and worse. I'm insecure about how I look/weight, do my friends actually like me and with my boyfriend. I know it sounds really childish but its starting to take over my life. I'm starting to drive my boyfriend away, I can't talk to him about it as he just thinks I should 'stop' being insecure - easier said that done as I am clearly not choosing to feel like this. I'm constantly in a bad mood and I find it easier to just mope around the house sulking that meeting up with people etc. Any advice would be really appreciated.


Comments

  • #2
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,217 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    You'll get more answers here Bazban. Good luck.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



  • #3
    gargleblaster
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,425 ✭✭✭gargleblaster


    Counseling would be something I'd consider. The change has to come from within you, though.

    You could try being logical about it - why would your boyfriend be with you if he didn't like you, and if he didn't like the way you looked? Why would your friends be around if they didn't like you? Logically speaking if they are around and not freezing you out then chances are they like you just fine. And if your boyfriend is with you and affectionate toward you then he finds you attractive and wants to be with you because he cares for you.

    Or you could try being more emotional about it, and try being less hard on yourself, start loving yourself and reassuring yourself. This is hard for some people to do, but it really is a very helpful skill if you can develop it. Look around you at the people you love - are they perfect? Of course not. So try to stop expecting so much of yourself. Self improvement is great, but constantly criticizing yourself and being negative about yourself is literally an act of you hurting yourself. You have to recognize that it's bad for you to do this to yourself, and commit yourself to stopping. I know it's not easy, though. I really do.

    Best of luck to you. I know from personal experience how bad this feels. I hope you can find a way to deal with it soon.


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