Catholic wedding in a Church Of Ireland Church

Clare Bear

Is this possible? We're both Catholics and can supply our own priest but of all the churches we've looked at none have matched up to a Church Of Ireland church in the area that we both love. Is it possible for Catholics to get married in a Church of Ireland church and have the usual Catholic ceremony?

baby and crumble

I think there's something about catholic priests not being overly happy about the rituals involved taking place in a protestant church... there are ecumenical services held in my church (CoI), but the communion would be the protestant one, far as I know... Maybe ask over in Christianity?

Solair

I would seriously doubt it.

Why not just go with the C of I ceremony and invite a catholic priest if you really want to. The differences are relatively minuscule in the ceremonies.

deelite

My RC friend (her hubby isn't COI or RC) was told that they could only marry in the COI church if they were planning to be COI parishioners....

D3PO

deelite wrote: »

My RC friend (her hubby isn't COI or RC) was told that they could only marry in the COI church if they were planning to be COI parishioners....

which is fair enough. A church wedding isnt supposed to be about the asthetics of the venue for your photos.

seamus

Interesting topic to google.
http://catholicexchange.com/2010/01/28/126476/

It would appear that catholic rules allow the ceremony to be held anywhere that is suitable, assuming that the parish church is not suitable, and if you get prior approval.

There is no reason why this would not extend to cover a CoI church.

I know many of the priests and bishops are somewhat cracking down on people taking liberties with the how, where, when and which of Catholic weddings because they feel that it's being cheapened by seceding to the wishes of the couple rather than sticking to formal practice. So it's a matter of luck more than anything. Your first stop is your chosen priest.

Clare Bear

D3PO wrote: »

which is fair enough. A church wedding isnt supposed to be about the asthetics of the venue for your photos.

To be fair we haven't just looked at it because of photo opportunities, it's an amazing church and it took my breath away when I walked in to it, nothing wrong with asking the question.

Thanks everyone.

artyeva

Solair wrote: »

The differences are relatively minuscule in the ceremonies.

:rolleyes: seriously?????!!!

Solair

artyeva wrote: »

:rolleyes: seriously?????!!!

Yeah, I seriously! The Church of Ireland is a catholic, with a small C, church.

It's ceremonies in general do not differ very much from your typical modern Roman Catholic services. There are some differences in a few key things, but it's about as close to the Catholic Church as protestant churches get.

You have to remember that the Anglican / episcopalian churches split off largely for political reasons, rather than deep ideological divides. So, it retained all the pomp, and ceremony and grandiose architecture of the Roman Catholic tradition.

It has some tweaks from the reformation eg, it sees the wine and bread part of the mass ceremony as symbolic rather than claiming that the bread and wine actually turn into body and blood etc..

There are also more recent modern changes like women priests and obviously, they never had the celibacy requirements for priests that Rome introduced...


But, as for wedding services, you'd find it hard to tell them apart.

You've seen four weddings and a funeral, right!?
That's an Anglican marriage

It's highly unlikely that you'll find a catholic priest willing to do a marriage in his own in a C of I church and its also not too likely that a C of I church would be agreeable either as they'll see it as trying to treat it like a venue for hire rather than a church.

Your other option is find a really nice venue and do a purely civil ceremony. It's far more flexible and gone are the days of grim registry offices!

artyeva

Solair wrote: »

Yeah, I seriously! The Church of Ireland is a catholic, with a small C, church.

It's ceremonies in general do not differ very much from your typical modern Roman Catholic services. There are some differences in a few key things, but it's about as close to the Catholic Church as protestant churches get.

You have to remember that the Anglican / episcopalian churches split off largely for political reasons, rather than deep ideological divides. So, it retained all the pomp, and ceremony and grandiose architecture of the Roman Catholic tradition.

It has some tweaks from the reformation eg, it sees the wine and bread part of the mass ceremony as symbolic rather than claiming that the bread and wine actually turn into body and blood etc..

There are also more recent modern changes like women priests and obviously, they never had the celibacy requirements for priests that Rome introduced...


But, as for wedding services, you'd find it hard to tell them apart.

You've seen four weddings and a funeral, right!?
That's an Anglican marriage

the fact that you infer that the church of ireland retained all the 'pomp, ceremony and grandiose architecture' would make me question that you know what you're talking about. and the fact that you can blithely dismiss the issue of transubstantiation as 'not a deep ideological divide' is kinda funny - but this isn't the religion forum.

in relation to the OP's question, i think the most logical thing would be for them to go directly to her PP first - some will not have any part in a celebration within a C of I church, some will. then ask the rector of the church, rather than people on the internet. i can't see a c of i rector agreeing to marry two people who haven't been either baptised or confirmed in the church, and i can't see them agreeing to allowing them to use the building simply cause they like the architecture. to me personally - it makes me laugh that people feel entitled that they can pick and choose the elements of their religion to the extent that they're rejecting the buildings owned by their own church, simply because of looks. why get married in a catholic ceremony at all then?! why not have a cermeony in a nice fancy hotel?

Solair

artyeva wrote: »

the fact that you infer that the church of ireland retained all the 'pomp, ceremony and grandiose architecture' would make me question that you know what you're talking about. and the fact that you can blithely dismiss the issue of transubstantiation as 'not a deep ideological divide' is kinda funny - but this isn't the religion forum

Yeah, I seriously clearly know absolutely nothing!

Don't worry, I won't bother making any contributions on this forum again.

OP: good luck with your wedding. I hope it goes well.

Clare Bear

artyeva wrote: »

the fact that you infer that the church of ireland retained all the 'pomp, ceremony and grandiose architecture' would make me question that you know what you're talking about. and the fact that you can blithely dismiss the issue of transubstantiation as 'not a deep ideological divide' is kinda funny - but this isn't the religion forum.

in relation to the OP's question, i think the most logical thing would be for them to go directly to her PP first - some will not have any part in a celebration within a C of I church, some will. then ask the rector of the church, rather than people on the internet. i can't see a c of i rector agreeing to marry two people who haven't been either baptised or confirmed in the church, and i can't see them agreeing to allowing them to use the building simply cause they like the architecture. to me personally - it makes me laugh that people feel entitled that they can pick and choose the elements of their religion to the extent that they're rejecting the buildings owned by their own church, simply because of looks. why get married in a catholic ceremony at all then?! why not have a cermeony in a nice fancy hotel?

We like the church. Simple as that. Sorry if you find that disrespectful, I don't feel we are entitled or it isn't a big deal but I've always loved that church regardless of not being that religion. I don't see the need for your rant whether you agree with what we're doing or not, if I wanted an argument on religion I'd take it to the religious forums but thanks for your input. As for asking people on the internet I wanted to ask here before I rang them up and they laughed down the phone at me.

Anyway back to my original question it turns out that both my Catholic priest and the Church of Ireland rector could do it. My priest (he's my cousin so maybe he's more accommodating for me than other priests would be) said he was fine with the situation as long as the Church of Ireland were okay with it which they are. Well, for a fee they are. And they said many Catholics have gotten married in that church, it isn't exactly a regular thing but I'm not the first so they didn't exactly hunt me away. So we're looking in to it. Just clearing it up for anyone that is interested. If you want to argue about whether it's wrong or right I'd rather it wasn't done on this thread now, thank you, each to their own.


Thanks everyone.

Neyite

"diplomatic relations" between the two faiths have improved greatly over the last decade or so it seems.

When Westport church was undergoing extensive renovations and for several months was a building site, the local CoI congregation generously shared their church so the priests could still hold their masses for the catholic congregation of the town.

Solair

They won't laugh down the phone at you.

What I would suggest doing is calling into your local Church of Ireland priest (rector) and having a chat over a cup of tea about what you propose to do.

If he/she is agreeable, he/she might have some ideas about how to approach the Catholic Church side of things.

They're well used to dealing with weddings which have participation from both churches, with a priest from both denominations present.

The main problem the Catholic Church are likely to have is anything to do with mass/communion. However, you do not have to have a mass / communion service of either flavour at a Catholic or Church of Ireland wedding. It's entirely optional.

The best way forward and the best way of finding out options would be to start by making a call to the local Church of Ireland rectory and asking if you can meet up and have a chat.

From what I gather, they're a little less likely to dismiss the idea entirely. Although, it would very much depend on the personality of the person you talk to. So, if it's some very old conservative rector, you might not get the warmest of a response, but if it's someone a little more open minded, you might be onto something.

I am suggesting approaching the C of I first because you want to use their building, but also they are often a bit more flexible on these kinds of issues and could at least guide you through the best way to approach their counterparts in the Catholic Church.

It's quite likely to be a long shot though as you may find that the local C of I management does not like the idea of the church being used for a wedding that has no connection to them i.e. ideally, one of you would probably need to be C of I to have a ceremony there.

So, I wouldn't really think it's a great idea to get your hopes up too much on this one!

The reason I am posting on this is that a family member had a C of I wedding (his wife's C of I) and there was an option of an ecumenical service with both a C of I and R. C. priest present. However, they opted to just go with the C of I wedding as it was more straight forward and they knew the priest very well.

Don't be afraid to lift the phone and ask questions though, I don't think anyone in either church will bite your head off these days! They're all a lot more friendly with each other than they used to be.

charlemont

My sister and her husband were married in a Protestant church, Both are Catholic.

getzls

If you got married in a C.O.I. church and you were Catholic would this be seen by the Catholic church as a wedding? Do's the Catholic church not say only weddings that take place in a chapel are true weddings. And do they not say Protestant weddings are not recognised?

Paparazzo

OP, I'm catholic and married a catholic in England in a church of England church. Vicar said he didn't care what religion we were as long ad we were in love. I think it depends on the vicar.

As for the comment about the ceremonies being different due to transubstantiation, come on, I doubt even the pope truly believes that one. Our ceremony was normal except the our father had an extra few lines. Funny seeing the Irish finish it early then looking all confused

artyeva

Paparazzo wrote: »

As for the comment about the ceremonies being different due to transubstantiation, come on, I doubt even the pope truly believes that one.

yeah, sorry - i was mistaken and you're right, the pope probably doesn't believe one of the sacrements of the church of which he is the worldwide leader

Paparazzo

artyeva wrote: »

yeah, sorry - i was mistaken and you're right, the pope probably doesn't believe one of the sacrements of the church of which he is the worldwide leader

Ah come on now Ted. My 5 year old cousin wouldn't belive that one.

watna

I think the first thing to check is with the minister of the COI to see what he'she says. I'm a protestant, getting married in a protestant church (not COI though) and the issue with it will probably be whether or not the COI minister will allow it. A lot of the churches want you to be a parisioner and attend church regularly (although it depends completely on the minister him/her self). A friend of mine (who is COI) regularly goes to church because the minister will not marry people he doesn't see regularly at church (it means a lot to her to get married there for family reasons). I think some ministers don't want people using the church just because they think it is a nice venue (btw, I don't see anything wrong with it at all).

Our minister has been so good, my fiance is not even Christian and the minister couldn't care less, as long as we love each other and my OH is happy to get married in a church. He is even letting us do some rituals from the wedding ceremony of my fiance's religion. He was the one that suggested it, in fact.

I really think it depends on the minister. I also think having a COI ceremony with a priest in attendance could be a good idea. Despite the rabid theological debate going on in this thread, it's all the same god at the end of the day, isn't it? (and oh, how I wish more people thought like that, it would save a lot of heartache in the world) and the ceremonies aren't that different, unless you are very religious.

Dostoevsky

D3PO wrote: »

which is fair enough. A church wedding isnt supposed to be about the asthetics of the venue for your photos.

If this is true it's most unfortunate. I'm looking for aesthetics, superb acoustics and history from a church. The Church of Ireland has the vast majority of the nice, historic churches on the great medieval sites of Irish Christendom. If I have to marry in a church the CofI has a near monopoly on the great ones, churches like this.

This Catholic church right next to the sea in Ballycotton is one of the few exceptions. This Catholic Church in An Rinn in the Port Láirge Gaeltacht has an equally stunning location overlooking the sea, with everything inside written in Irish, but it typifies the horrible myopic architecture of the average Catholic Church in Ireland: building such an ugly church, and pebble-dashing it for good measure, in such a gorgeous location should be an environmental crime.

Even in my home place the Anglican Church of Ireland is located on the 6th century monastic site while the Roman Catholic Church is down the hill in a crappy modern building.

seandeas

Dostoevsky wrote: »

If this is true it's most unfortunate. I'm looking for aesthetics, superb acoustics and history from a church. The Church of Ireland has the vast majority of the nice, historic churches on the great medieval sites of Irish Christendom. If I have to marry in a church the CofI has a near monopoly on the great ones, churches like this.

This Catholic church right next to the sea in Ballycotton is one of the few exceptions. This Catholic Church in An Rinn in the Port Láirge Gaeltacht has an equally stunning location overlooking the sea, with everything inside written in Irish, but it typifies the horrible myopic architecture of the average Catholic Church in Ireland: building such an ugly church, and pebble-dashing it for good measure, in such a gorgeous location should be an environmental crime.

Even in my home place the Anglican Church of Ireland is located on the 6th century monastic site while the Roman Catholic Church is down the hill in a crappy modern building.

Did you ever wonder why the Protestants have all the old historic churches ? Something to do with King Henry the 8th stealing them all for his new religion I think....