Fancying people while in relationship

LegacyUser

Hi everyone,

I'm in my early 30s and I've been in a relationship for the past few years. I love my boyfriend and we're hoping to move into together, start a family all that stuff in the next while.

The thing is, I have a bit of a crush on an ex-workmate. He has a girlfriend of a few years too.
What I'm wondering is, is it wrong to have a crush on someone if you're in a serious committed relationship?

I see him every few weeks and he is always a bit flirty but I think that might just be what he is like with a few drinks on him.

What do you think?

Otis Driftwood

Its human nature to be attracted to other people and Im of the opinion that there is nothing wrong with it once its not acted upon by either party.

LegacyUser

it's normal to still be attracted to other people while in a committed relationship, but the fact that it's developed into a crush could be indicative of a problem.

as long as you're not doing anything to feed or further those feelings i don't see a reason to worry, they should fade naturally as the novelty of the new feelings wears off. if you are doing anything to maintain those feelings for yourself, and encourage those feelings in this other person, you might want to look into the reasons why, and make sure that you do want to be in a committed relationship.

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Otis Driftwood wrote: »

Its human nature to be attracted to other people and Im of the opinion that there is nothing wrong with it once its not acted upon by either party.

+1

I am a friend

And dont run away with yourself. Try and nip it in the bud now.

Miss Fluff

Crushes are fine. Perfectly normal in fact. It's what you choose to do with a crush, i.e. whether you act on it or not is when issues arise. Just tread carefully.

Acacia

Well, you can't choose your feelings, but you can choose how to act on those feelings. That is, to echo previous posters, it's fine, once it's kept to yourself and not acted upon.