Being constantly ditched and feel not worth it

LC2010HIS

Just now I saw something on FB that upset me alot. I feel it basically confirmed something that I've felt for a long time.

As you all know, I have had social problems of late.

I went to school with these people before I did my own thing this year for myself.... They all went onto university but I ,at least, tried my best to maintain communication.

But I was being left out and ditched. Half the time, I didnt mind as I had study and exams. And when I was invited on nights out, I had study etc and would have one of them snapping at me over it. She just didnt get it!

But now Im on my holidays like all of them.

I went to a party 2 weeks ago with them. I thought I got on grand with them etc .
I said numerous times to a couple of them that I wanted to see a movie in the cinema and knew they all wanted to also. So I said let me know when and where and I'll be there.

Havent heard from anyone in 2 weeks. Then this morning, my homepage is flooded with "some laugh in cinema watching _____" etc etc ...even photos are up.
And I am fuming. I know this seems petty but it isnt the first time and its just the last straw.
I want to say it to one of them about why i wasnt invited but I know i'll be laughed at etc.

These are hometown friends. I have proper new friends from college but distance is an issue.
But I thought I was getting on fine with these friends.... It's not fair. I was literally the only one left out!!!!

Please dont tear me for this. Ok? If this was a one time thing, I would let it go ,obviously, but even when Im at parties I feel Im purposely ignored in conversations...


Should I just go my own way? I feel really lonely since school ended and worse when Im being ignored to my face?

Granted I have meet up with new friends from school this year lately and honestly, despite only being new friendships have been the most valued I have ever experienced.

I guess being treated like this by old friends has got me down...and a bit surprised ...?


Help please..........

allym

I'm not really sure exactly what advice to give but what I will say is they do not sound like the type of people you need to be around. From reading your other posts here I know you're around the same age as me and, unfortunately, an awful lot of girls our age are b'tches!

The Facebook thing was mean and nasty. They knew you'd see it and even if they didn't deliberately do it, they obviously didn't care if you saw it!

If I were you I'd talk to one of them that you feel closest too and just casually drop it into conversation. You don't need to be angry or upset just say something like " oh how was the film? I was dying to see it!" and she might give some idea as to why you weren't invited.

Regardless though it wasn't nice of them to deliberately leave you out. I think you'd be better off focusing on your new friends! That's not to say make a big drama out of not hanging out with the other group but sometimes you just have to drift away from people!
Good luck!

LC2010HIS

Hey allym,

Thanks. I just feel like such rubbish. I was so excited for summer and to be with my old friends...catch up etc?
As I stressed before about these friends, I dont like the party drink scene so when they spoke of this film I was delighted it wasnt around drink. So naturally was eager to go only to be left out?


Ive always but my best foot forward with any friend Ive made! I dont understand why they think its ok to treat me like this and not flinch? As in, If i ever treated someone like that, Id feel so guilty but they dont even care...

Honestly, dont have energy for drama tbh. I just want normal friends like my new ones but sure, of course the great friends would live far away......

LegacyUser

They sound like a great bunch of people. Honestly I've had the same from girls that I used to hang around with in school after moving onto college last year myself. I think I remember you from the lc forum when I was there too.

I too wouldn't be into drinking so I feel sometimes that it can be used as an excuse for not inviting me places which annoys me. I mean being asked would be nice just coz I don't drink doesn't mean I'm a complete loser. The amount of times I feel like I'm just there to give my friends a lift home from places is beyond stupid. I refuse to do this now though. I have no problem dropping people off when on the way home myself but refuse to hang around when everything is beginning to become a mess about 2ish waiting for them when I want to leave. Note, I would never leave one by herself though obviously there's usually a group of about 5/6. Lovely girls but this used to piss me off big time and it was a real 'me against them' thing because they were all the same and I wasn't.

The best thing ever though has been meeting a whole new bunch of people at college. I feel I have a lot more in common with them than even some of my friends I spent 6 years with in school. In a way that's really sad. You should invite one of those friends that lives further away down to stay a few days or even you could meet them at a halfway point between you for the day.

I know what it feels like though my two best friends aren't around at all really this summer. These are amazing girls though and I've known them since I was about 4 so wouldn't be included in the school group I mentioned earlier. One is away out of the country and the other is working elsewhere in Ireland for weeks on end.

T2daK

LC2010HIS wrote: »

Hey allym,

Thanks. I just feel like such rubbish. I was so excited for summer and to be with my old friends...catch up etc?
As I stressed before about these friends, I dont like the party drink scene so when they spoke of this film I was delighted it wasnt around drink. So naturally was eager to go only to be left out?


Ive always but my best foot forward with any friend Ive made! I dont understand why they think its ok to treat me like this and not flinch? As in, If i ever treated someone like that, Id feel so guilty but they dont even care...

Honestly, dont have energy for drama tbh. I just want normal friends like my new ones but sure, of course the great friends would live far away......

Lad here, Ignore them completely because girls detest that IF they give a sh....

If they don't make an effort then you're wasting your time making an effort.

I don't promote politics but it is an easy way to see if they genuinely care about u. If they text u ignore them. set a date you'll ignore them till and see if they make a real effort to chase.

LC2010HIS

Rosie.. wrote: »

They sound like a great bunch of people. Honestly I've had the same from girls that I used to hang around with in school after moving onto college last year myself. I think I remember you from the lc forum when I was there too.

I too wouldn't be into drinking so I feel sometimes that it can be used as an excuse for not inviting me places which annoys me. I mean being asked would be nice just coz I don't drink doesn't mean I'm a complete loser. The amount of times I feel like I'm just there to give my friends a lift home from places is beyond stupid. I refuse to do this now though. I have no problem dropping people off when on the way home myself but refuse to hang around when everything is beginning to become a mess about 2ish waiting for them when I want to leave. Note, I would never leave one by herself though obviously there's usually a group of about 5/6. Lovely girls but this used to piss me off big time and it was a real 'me against them' thing because they were all the same and I wasn't.

The best thing ever though has been meeting a whole new bunch of people at college. I feel I have a lot more in common with them than even some of my friends I spent 6 years with in school. In a way that's really sad. You should invite one of those friends that lives further away down to stay a few days or even you could meet them at a halfway point between you for the day.

I know what it feels like though my two best friends aren't around at all really this summer. These are amazing girls though and I've known them since I was about 4 so wouldn't be included in the school group I mentioned earlier. One is away out of the country and the other is working elsewhere in Ireland for weeks on end.

Hey,
You basically described my life there ha
Yea, I found two weeks ago at that party, I was alright to organise my mother to drop and collect me and a particular friend but was ignored during the night.
I wanted to leave early and went to say bye to people. And the friend who got a lift off me at the start was pleading with me to stay. At first I thought they want me later but I said I had to go. Then she was sayin bye to all her friends. Then she insisted on going to a chipper while my mother was on her way to another meeting spot. My mam was waiting at 2 in the morning... I left at half 1 to meet her.
So, Im being leached off for lifts. Thats just a recent occurance. This happens all the time. I didnt even know I was giving anyone a lift home. This same girl ignored me for 2 weeks since and havent heard anything. All my texts went ignored until this morning.

Sick of being used by people who certainly dont bother returning respect or thought to me.

I feel invisible all the time around this group of friends. NOT ONE stops to wonder about my opinion or my feelings. I have one of them yet to text or call, just for a chat to see how I AM!!
This is awful to say, but if I died tomorrow, none of them would even know because they dont bother with me unless its for parties or numbers for going away or camping. So basically, Im not a friend. Im just there to fill a crowd and to fall back on!

Yeah I organised to see my college friends this week and its nice to see the same excitement reflected in them !:)

Just wish the girls Ive known for 7years bothered with me.



It hurts.