Gay Jokes

mrsmiawallace6

Hi,

I am BI and not many people know, especially in work. How do others feel when somebody cracks a Gay joke. It makes me so mad and hurt that people are still so ignorant.

I work in a place were rumors flow daily and if i reach across the table and slap the offending Neanderthal I will blow my cover and I will be talked about for weeks.

How does everybody else deal with this issue?

baby and crumble

well i'm out in work, so that's not a particular issue for me.

However, when someone tells a joke that's racist, or whatever else that I find is a bit offensive, I just don't laugh. You'd be surprised how effective it is. People tend to know they're telling a joke that might offend someone, and they're looking for a reaction. If you don't laugh it makes it clear you don't think it's funny. If you can combine it with making eye contact with them while not laughing, it's a million times more effective.

Be warned, you will be accused of not having a sense of humour, and will probably have to explain why you're not laughing. A simple "I don't think it's funny to laugh at gay people for the sake of it" usually shuts them up.

markphillips

Saying "that's so gay" or "don't be gay" is very common in my team at work. At the same time, all my workmates know I am gay and have no issues at all with homosexuality.

Words are powerful and can cause hurt, and people should know how their words might sound to others. At the same time, if you are gay, you should also take into account that they do not mean offence, and are using the word "gay" in a different context to your sexuality.

So, I guess, it all depends on context and who is saying it. If a friend says "that movie was gay" I won't care or even notice really.

mikemac

Seen the performances from Torres at Chelsea last season? So gay!
Any Monday morning, your workmates will be chatting and could be saying similar things, look at the context, would this bother you OP?

Anyway, don't be reaching around slapping people. Ignore it, don't laugh. The cure for a bad joke is a lead balloon reaction

mrsmiawallace6

lol i would not be offended by a thats so gay comment, god no. why would i.

but jokes that are down right offensive are wat get to me. I dont laugh but i could try the eye contact thing wt the no laughing. It could work, i may be over sensitive i should let it roll of my back and i know tat

baby and crumble

The reason these kind of jokes keep going is because no-one wants to stand up and be different for something they believe in anymore, for fear of being labelled no fun or boring. But there comes a point where you just have to.

My Dad used to make incredibly offensive jokes. I always hated them but when I was younger I didn't have the courage to stand up and say "you know, that's not that funny". Once I hit about 22 I just thought to myself this is ridiculous. SO I stopped laughing along. Now he doesn't tell them any more, because he was the one who got embarrassed telling these awful and offensive jokes that nobody laughed at.

I'm not saying he doesn't still hold those views, but at least he doesn't tell those jokes in front of me any more.

Kanoe

depends on who's cracking the joke. I told a good friend to get fúcked because she had no problem with her passive aggressive bf posting gay jokes on his fb...the day after he first met me. (and she still doesn't get why I'm offended.)

baztard

A buddy of mine kept on describing things as gay. That soccer team is gay, that car is gay etc. He said things like this around me a few times (knowing that I'm gay). He didn't mean any offence by it, but him saying these things and me just standing there and laughing them off even though it annoys me, would make me a coward. So so I said it to him to give it up. I didn't get angry or get worked up about it, but I was confident in saying it. I just said I don't like it, and he stopped.

If someone in work (I dont think they know i'm gay, not that I care too much) cracked an anti gay joke or described something as gay, I'd say it to them straight away that I'm gay and to give it up. I'd say they'd be more embarressed than anything else.

If its a funny gay joke, told in good humour - laugh.
If its told in an offensive way - show some character and stand up for yourself, no one else will.

Chuchoter

I don't mind gay jokes at all as long as they're funny and not har har har its a queer.

Printemps93

Chuchoter wrote: »

I don't mind gay jokes at all as long as they're funny and not har har har its a queer.

+1

Sonics2k

I've always been of the opinion that if it's said purely in jest, and not out of malice, then it's just fine. And if it's just not funny, then I simply don't react, it really is the best thing to do.

As for people saying "such and such is so gay", it really doesn't bother me. I say it myself from time to time (usually when commenting on something during a video game if I'm honest), as do many of my gay friends. It's a context thing, and has a different meaning, and is really not related to sexuality.

MJRS

Disappointed that this wasn't a thread for telling gay jokes

There's always a butt to every joke, usually a minority or some other group. Where you draw the line of being offended is entirely individual. I don't mingmd gay jokes once they're at least somewhat witty and not just making fun of gay people for the sake of it.

On the whole "that's so gay!" thing, the word used to mean happy, then it meant happy/homosexual, then pretty much just homosexual, now it's negative/homosexual. Words change meanings, slang enters vocabulary, it's not worth getting upset about.

MJRS

Disappointed that this wasn't a thread for telling gay jokes

There's always a butt to every joke, usually a minority or some other group. Where you draw the line of being offended is entirely individual. I don't mingmd gay jokes once they're at least somewhat witty and not just making fun of gay people for the sake of it.

On the whole "that's so gay!" thing, the word used to mean happy, then it meant happy/homosexual, then pretty much just homosexual, now it's negative/homosexual. Words change meanings, slang enters vocabulary, it's not worth getting upset about.

Da Shins Kelly

I don't really think there's much to it. It all depends on context and who is saying it, in my opinion. South Park, for example, constantly use the term 'that's gay!' (or some variation), and I don't think the creators of that mean it in a homophobic sense. It has simply become part of everyday language. However, if someone was to say something malicious about gay people that clearly wasn't said in a joking manner, or express some sort of dislike for someone purely because they are gay, then that would be different. At the end of the day, it's just a word and means nothing on its own. It all depends on who is saying it and why. I frequently hear people saying 'that's gay', but I know they don't mean it in a homophobic way, it's just a turn of phrase. You could argue about why the word came to be an expression used in a sense other than to identify someone's sexuality, but I really don't think it's worth being riled up about. Acting as though using it in a casual sense is the worst thing in the world is just giving more power to the word and the people who use it, and make it more likely for people to use it in a derogatory sense because they know it'll upset people. Getting angry about it is just giving genuine homophobes another stick to beat you with.

daithi84

Im out in work and only one person has made a gay joke in 3 years ive been working here and it was said behind my back. I know the person and i know it wasnt meant with offence only for him wanting people to think he was funny. everyone was looking out of the office window looking at the queen go by when she was here and he said 'why you looking out the window when we have a queen in our office'. At least 5 people jumped down his throat and he was quickly told that he was being inappropriate and not funny.

Sonics2k

daithi84 wrote: »

Im out in work and only one person has made a gay joke in 3 years ive been working here and it was said behind my back. I know the person and i know it wasnt meant with offence only for him wanting people to think he was funny. everyone was looking out of the office window looking at the queen go by when she was here and he said 'why you looking out the window when we have a queen in our office'. At least 5 people jumped down his throat and he was quickly told that he was being inappropriate and not funny.

To be fair that's actually giggle worthy.

cgcsb

hmmm. For me it depends on who says it. Me and my gay friends sometimes make gay jokes, or my straight friends, who are of course 100% pro-gay, but we have a laugh anyway. We also make asian jokes (I've an Irish-Asian friend) and it's not a problem. If it was someone who I didn't know very well, then I'd be uncomfortable.

allydylan

first i would like to point out that i myself am gay, and i don't have a problem with gay jokes as someone else has says as long as there funny
i think there comes a time when we just need to learn to laugh at ourselfs

Fago!

I'd assume it's the same for racist/sexist jokes.

Although for years people thought I was gay and I got barraged with gay jokes, some were fine and harmless, but some went just too far. I think depends on the person. Like I'm friends with many black people who don't mind racist jokes, many gay people who don't mind gay jokes, many females who don't mind sexist jokes and frequently join in on the jokes. but equally I know many who do mind them and don't find them funny...etc... It's up to the individual's sense of humour and who made the joke (friend or someone they just met) and how long they keep making jokes.

I think most people wouldn't mind (including me) if it was well thought out, non offensive and witty. Where-as if it was an offensive, purposely hurtful one, I'd say "hang on that's not funny, that's just racist/homophobic..." I often tell offensive jokes, but before I do, I mentally put myself in the target's shoes. e.g. if I was gay/a woman/black, would I find this funny or offensive.

I can't actually think of any gay jokes tbh.

MJRS

Fago! wrote: »

I can't actually think of any gay jokes tbh.

What do gay horses eat?

HAAAAAAAYYYYY!!!! *really camp accent*

What do really gay horses eat?

COCK

Fago!

MJRS wrote: »

What do gay horses eat?

HAAAAAAAYYYYY!!!! *really camp accent*

HA!

Heard that one, but it wasn't gay horses, it was camp horses.

mcmoustache

Are these jokes being told in garages and building sites? I've never heard them where I work. Then again, I write financial software and we don't really talk to each other much in here.

jaffacakesyum

MJRS wrote: »

What do gay horses eat?

HAAAAAAAYYYYY!!!! *really camp accent*

What do really gay horses eat?

COCK

Haha brilliant!!

MJRS

mcmoustache wrote: »

Are these jokes being told in garages and building sites? I've never heard them where I work. Then again, I write financial software and we don't really talk to each other much in here.

What a ridiculous and pompous assumption. I've heard as many gay jokes in insurance and media companies as building sites and garages I've worked in. Some people don't find the jokes offensive enough to avoid telling them, regardless of where they work!

Duddy

The undertone of any joke is affected by the way it's said, and who's saying it. Some might be telling a gay joke that portrays us negatively/unfairly, others might be telling a gay joke that pokes fun at a well established stereotype. I don't think there's any hard and fast rules tbh.