Don't know what to do

LegacyUser

I have been seeing a guy I really like for a while now, and I think he quite likes me too.

It's been all good up until last night, when I was hanging out with him and his friends. A friend of his kept texting him to come out, so we decided we would go out for a pint or two. When we got there, she was really strange with me, and gave me an odd look when I introduced myself. For a good while she didn't really talk to me, but later on she seemed okay towards me.
However, when we left he said to me that she was apparently really strange about the whole thing and was asking him "why did you bring this random girl with you?" (we also went with 3 more of his friends) and acting really pissed off about the whole thing.
About an hour later he got a text from her saying that they shouldn't be friends anymore. He tried asking her what was going on and she told him to accept the loss.
I felt pretty awkward for the rest of the night then, I didn't know what to say about the whole thing. I was basically stunned about it, and felt crappy that I was viewed as such a problem.

They had been good friends for two years and nothing had happened between them, but then all of a sudden, when I show up, she seems to freak out.

I don't know what to do...I don't want to be the reason for them not being friends, but...how she reacted was quite ridiculous.
I am debating telling him that if staying friends with her means not seeing me, that I understand. I understand because I always try to put friends first, but I obviously would be really upset. And I am scared if I did say this, what his answer would be.

Should I say this to him, or should I just wait it out and see what happens.

IrishEyes19

I think the case here OP is that she obviously likes the guy you are seeing, though I find it strange if you have been seeing him for a while and they are very good friends that he hasnt mentioned you. But having said that, her behaviour is a little chidlish, or else she geniunely is hurt that he is seeing someone and needs distance from it.

No I dont think you should tell him that he can put his friendship first, this is his problem not yours and I think you should just stay out of it for your own good really, best not to get involved in such things. I think he's more than likely aware she likes him, but doesnt want to upset or freak you out either.

Canluum

This isn't your problem, its his and hers. She obviously has some weirdness going on. Butt out, but be there for your bf if he needs to get anything off his chest about it. You can tell him you think friendships are important and he should do whatever he thinks is best... but jebus don't say "if staying friends with her means not seeing me, I understand." You can't go around normalising such unreasonable ultimatums. If you mean it I feel sorry for you, if you don't then you're just playing head games.

This is all on the assumption you two are in a relationship... implied from your first sentence, but something's a little odd:

I have been seeing a guy I really like for a while now, and I think he quite likes me too.
...
[she] was asking him "why did you bring this random girl with you?"

If you've been seeing him for a while wouldn't you be a little more sure? And if she was asking him that why wouldn't he just reply "lol she's not some random girl, it's my girlfriend"

LegacyUser

I do think I would really mean it if I said that to him. Because, I personally put friends first and would hate to lose a friend over a relationship. If that was his choice, I would rather end it now, than drag it out and get more hurt. So no, it's not a mind game.

We haven't been very serious. Even though we've been seeing each other a few weeks I had been away on holidays for some of that time. We are taking it slowly, he's not my boyfriend like. He does like me, I'm sure, and he seems pretty enthusiastic about us.

I'm not sure how good friends they are and how much they see each other and talk, but he did say she was a good friend. I did find it a bit weird that he didn't seem to notice that she liked him, gauging by her reaction last night. But I don't want to jump to any conclusions.
I'm not sure what else was said between them, he only gave me a brief summary of the whole thing really.
He has been pretty open and honest about the whole situation to me, which I guess is kind of reassuring, but I still feel pretty bad about the whole thing.

Devon Brown

It sounds like she likes him and *thought* that he was into her as well. So him bringing you out for what she might have thought was "their" time together obviously freaked her out. But it is her issue, not yours.
Just make sure you are good with this guy and that you don't wind up in the same situation (based on your thinking that he likes you).

Let him handle his friendships. You handle your relationship with him.

Good luck.

Miss Fluff

whattodooo wrote: »

I am debating telling him that if staying friends with her means not seeing me, that I understand.

:eek: Why on earth would you do that?

Sounds like this girl obviously has quite a thing for your BF but that's her problem!

John Mason

she fancies him and doesnt want anyone other girls around him.

i have been there, my bf's best girl friend banned all his friends from speaking to me for a year because she was / is in love with him and thought she was well in there and i am came along.

4 years later, she has fallen out with everyone and i am still around - so dont dump him because of her.

hold your head up and continue what you are doing.

LegacyUser

I realise saying that to him may not come across how I mean it, so I have decided to just wait it out and see what happens. Hopefully it will work out

Thanks for the replies.

Meinv

hello, carry on like nothing happened, and be yourself, be happy. Let others deal with their own issues.