lesbians are hot but gay men gross ? double standard?

blackcat123

I've heard this a number of times. It mostly from striaght males (not saying all striaght guys think like this) But I find it rathar stupied. Any thoughts on how this very dumb double stardard started,

also I don't wanna hear it a turn on and we're striaght of course we find to guys gross because you don't see gay/lesbian people go 'gross' when they see a man and a woman together

Links234

when straight guys say they find "lesbians" hot, they don't really mean they find lesbians attractive, just that they like girl-on-girl in pornography, because even seeing one guy is a turn off for them. so they don't even find actual lesbians hot, it's a product marketed at they find hot.

jaffacakesyum

Yeah it's one of those things I always found odd. That most guys find two girls together hot, yet most girls wouldn't find two gay guys together hot at all.

blackcat123

I'm not talking about porn, I mean in real life. One striaght male I know happens to go out of his way to avoid gay men because they're 'gross' but is always keen to watch two girls need it be in porn or two drunk striaght girls make out at a party.
I've seen this double stardard a few time I wasn't talking about wether are not straght male find lesbians attractive

Links234

I think maybe sometimes porn bleeds into real life, and that's what is meant to be hot? like it might influence guys?

blackcat123

Links234 wrote: »

I think maybe sometimes porn bleeds into real life, and that's what is meant to be hot? like it might influence guys?

Okay that may be true but then these guys have a much bigger problem then just a gross double standard, porn is a fantasy it isn't real, if you can not seperate real life from fiction then you need to get help

Printemps93

I tend to find straight young males more impressionable and immature than the average , but thats just from my encounters

yawha

yeah straight men are the worst

wonderfulname

Straight men find lesbians attractive because men are very simplistic sexually, one stimulus - good, two stimuli - bloody fantastic!
Two randy ladies are better than one basically.

Blackcat - I'd agree 100%, there is a worrying trend with guys not being able to see the difference. As printemps has pointed out, young guys are impressionable, from my experience it completely redraws the boundaries in their heads, it can be like feminism (or even the latter end of evolution) never happened at times!

Aard

Straight guys like girls. So lesbians couple = two girls = two times as hawt.

Straight guys aren't into other guys. So any guy in any sexual manner = gross. Two of them = twice as gross.


I'm really at a loss as to why this isn't obvious. That lesbians and gay guys are both 'homosexual' is a tenuous element in this case.

Aishae

ive never really seen that attitude as odd - plenty of guys fantasise about seeing a little girl on girl action of even having a threesome with 2 girls (but would not consider a threesome with a girl and another guy - there are men who would like that though)

they like girls but may not be attracted to men in the least so they dont care for seeing men get it on. perhaps the desire to see 2 girls together is hot not just because they like women but because the potential for them to have 2 girls at once is there.

its a sex thing rather than anything to do with anything gay.

the way i see it there are plenty of people who are accepting of homosexuality - but might not want to see what they do in the bedroom (the girl on girl thing stands apart from that because its more to do with just sex).

however i DO think the wording is bad. saying lesbians are hot and gay men are icky. its not a very clear way of expressing what is meant (unless they really are homophobic).
a clearer example: 'two women getting jiggy is hot to me. but i dont want to see two men doing that'
itd be best to seperate the gay words i feel - if the intention is different. they only serve to blurr the lines.

blackcat123

Okay then I'll make my meaning plainer

Straight men (not all of them) when they see two girls kissing, beg for more

But when they see two guys kiss make icky faces etc

One; I know they find two girls a turn on and would love a threesome with two girls

Two; the point here is just because you are not into men is no reason for you start acting like a child when, gay men kiss, like it's is something sick, no one is asking you to kiss a guy,

Three; there is a difference between between comforty with someone else doing something and with actually wanting to it yourself

four; all I'm saying is why can't they grow up get over there own bloody childishness and live and let live

blackcat123

I will also add that I'm not talking about two men or two women having sex

What I am refering to is when two guys hold hands or just have a quick peck in public or when two women show affection in public

Aishae

i think point 3 is perhaps the bones of the matter. not seperating 'seeing someone else with someone of the opposite sex' and 'the idea of doing it yourself'

Aard

I imagine if one of these grossed out guys saw a picture of two guys kissing while online or something (say on a news site), they'd be fine because nobody saw them looking at a picture of two guys. OTOH, if they're with others they have this overreaction of "Gross!" so as to reassure people that they're not gay. Similarly, if they're online and they see two girls, they'll probably be mildly entertained/aroused, but in real life they over-compensate and affirm how positively orgasmic the thought is.

Ambersky

Now I do reckon if you are comfortable with your own sexuality you can get over these, what I think of as over reactions to seeing two men kiss etc.
I also dont get why it would bother anyone, if your not into it fine, but why have a reaction of repulsion to two men kissing.
The letting everyone else around you know you are repulsed is just protesting a little too much in my opinion.

But I also think some of the studies I have seen looking at the actual physical sexual response of people, to a selection of visual stimuli seemed to show that women, generally,could be turned on by watching a wider range of of partners engaging in sexual activity.
Heterosexual males seemed to much more selective and have a narrower range spending much less time looking at male on male sexual activity and having less of a sexual response to it.
Dont know if this is true just wondering.

wonderfulname

blackcat123 wrote: »

Okay then I'll make my meaning plainer

Straight men (not all of them) when they see two girls kissing, beg for more

But when they see two guys kiss make icky faces etc

One; I know they find two girls a turn on and would love a threesome with two girls

Two; the point here is just because you are not into men is no reason for you start acting like a child when, gay men kiss, like it's is something sick, no one is asking you to kiss a guy,

Three; there is a difference between between comforty with someone else doing something and with actually wanting to it yourself

four; all I'm saying is why can't they grow up get over there own bloody childishness and live and let live

And there's a very large difference between being comfortable with gay women and objectifying them - you ask any man who is brain dead enough to kick off when he sees two women openly together, all they are interested in is girls gone wild, you start talking about butch women/lesbian marriage and you'll get the same breed of response as to two men kissing, juvenile insecurities and all.

blackcat123

wonderfulname wrote: »

And there's a very large difference between being comfortable with gay women and objectifying them - you ask any man who is brain dead enough to kick off when he sees two women openly together, all they are interested in is girls gone wild, you start talking about butch women/lesbian marriage and you'll get the same breed of response as to two men kissing, juvenile insecurities and all.

Yes that is true, they're actually thinking of femmine lesbians and then sexualizing them, your right if they meet a butch lesbian or an lesbian married couple it would the same bull as a gay(male) marreid couple.

To straight men who are like this the only 'acceptable' form of same-sex interaction is when two fem women make out for his pleasure,

wonderfulname

Some straight men! Most are grand.

Printemps93

wonderfulname wrote: »

Some straight men! Most are grand.

I hate most straight men round my age

blackcat123

wonderfulname wrote: »

Some straight men! Most are grand.

Yes it is really only a handful who are such idiots

wonderfulname

Do they count as men yet? Guys mature a lot slower than girls...

Printemps93

wonderfulname wrote: »

Do they count as men yet? Guys mature a lot slower than girls...

true

Endymion

It's to do with an inability to perceive female sexuality as having any purpose beyond the gratification of the male ego. Two girls, kissing, derive no pleasure from it unless a man is watching.

baby and crumble

TBH some straight women find the thought of 2 girls kissing a bit icky too...

blackcat123

baby and crumble wrote: »

TBH some straight women find the thought of 2 girls kissing a bit icky too...

thats true but are these same women begging men to make out for them ? That's the point here it's just rather hypercritical to beg fem lesbians to make out for you while ick faces at guys who kiss each other

Aard

It's not though; it's apples and oranges. You're only comparing them because both couples are gay.

blackcat123

Aard wrote: »

It's not though; it's apples and oranges. You're only comparing them because both couples are gay.

Yes both couples are gay, being in favour of one form of homosexuality while being agasint another is hypercritical.

blackcat123

And by the way I wouldn't be saying this if they were to be just grow up and stop acting like a child around gay men

Aard

But they're not in favour of "one form of homosexuality" as it may appear on the surface; they're just in favour of hot chicks doin' each other.

blackcat123

Aard wrote: »

But they're not in favour of "one form of homosexuality" as it may appear on the surface; they're just in favour of hot chicks doin' each other.

tell me have you ever been to an all male-school, there are guys in my class who say that they don't mind lesbians but would break a fags neck.

Secondly if it really is like apples and oranges then you would see men drawling when they see a gril eating an orange but would start sceaming ew if they saw a guy eating an apply, and at the end of the day both people are eating fruit

Meesared

blackcat123 wrote: »

Secondly if it really is like apples and oranges then you would see men drawling when they see a gril eating an orange but would start sceaming ew if they saw a guy eating an apply, and at the end of the day both people are eating fruit

Sorry, but what??

Aard

blackcat123 wrote: »

Secondly if it really is like apples and oranges then you would see men drawling when they see a gril eating an orange but would start sceaming ew if they saw a guy eating an apply, and at the end of the day both people are eating fruit

I don't feel fit to comment as I'm heavily biased towards apples.


Look guy, they're not into "lesbians". They're into stereotypically hot chicks. Do you really think they dig Rosie O'Donnell Rule 34? No. Because she's not a leggy blonde 18yo in a tank top. It's fantasy, and equating it with some sort of selective open-mindedness is pure silly.

blackcat123

Aard wrote: »

I don't feel fit to comment as I'm heavily biased towards apples.


Look guy, they're not into "lesbians". They're into stereotypically hot chicks. Do you really think they dig Rosie O'Donnell Rule 34? No. Because she's not a leggy blonde 18yo in a tank top. It's fantasy, and equating it with some sort of selective open-mindedness is pure silly.

NO but I can see them digging someone like Portia de rossi (ellen degenres wife)

Aard

Exactly. You've just proven that it's only about looks, and nothing to do with being gayokay.

blackcat123

Actually what it says they're fine with fem lesbians but would have a problem with butch one

blackcat123

And if had to do with looks they would be fine with the idea of two hot men as well, you know like there okay with fem lesbians

Liberal Irishman

blackcat123 wrote: »

I've heard this a number of times. It mostly from striaght males (not saying all striaght guys think like this) But I find it rathar stupied.

You’d be surprised how many women think this way also!

blackcat123

Liberal Irishman wrote: »

You’d be surprised how many women think this way also!

then those women are just as dumb

trolltastic11

Did I read title wrong? What about women being disgusted at the thought of sleeping with a gay man....when generally a man would sleep with any woman

Asry

I think gay men are hot only hot ones though. Which confirms everyone's point.

blackcat123

trolltastic11 wrote: »

Did I read title wrong? What about women being disgusted at the thought of sleeping with a gay man....when generally a man would sleep with any woman

I think you read the title wrong what this is about is when SOME stright males( not all) start acting like grossed out little children when they see two men together in public holding hands or kissing and yet beg girls to make out for them.

Annasopra

trolltastic11 wrote: »

when generally a man would sleep with any woman

some men might but you definitely can't say generally

trolltastic11

Yeah ok for some mimdless tittlatio.n it just comes down to looks.

Annasopra

trolltastic11 wrote: »

Yeah ok for some mimdless tittlatio.n it just comes down to looks.

What's your point? are you refusing the stereotype?

Annasopra

trolltastic11 wrote: »

Yeah ok for some mimdless tittlatio.n it just comes down to looks.

What's your point? are you refuting the stereotype?

wonderfulname

blackcat123 wrote: »

tell me have you ever been to an all male-school, there are guys in my class who say that they don't mind lesbians but would break a fags neck.

And all is explained, you try being the type of gay girl who happily tells guys like that to go f*ck themselves, as soon as you shatter their fantasy you're in the fag category - they don't like lesbians, they like straight girls eyeing them in a manner that somehow passes as seductive as they make out. They're immature homophobes for either sex, they just happen to be misogynists too... Seriously, do you think its some way good to have a guy start acting like he's at the start of a cheap porn shoot towards you? Do you think that type of twat takes no easily?

I don't get this strange insistence for queer youth to proclaim everyone has it better than them, we're all in the same boat.

blackcat123

wonderfulname wrote: »

And all is explained, you try being the type of gay girl who happily tells guys like that to go f*ck themselves, as soon as you shatter their fantasy you're in the fag category - they don't like lesbians, they like straight girls eyeing them in a manner that somehow passes as seductive as they make out. They're immature homophobes for either sex, they just happen to be misogynists too... Seriously, do you think its some way good to have a guy start acting like he's at the start of a cheap porn shoot towards you? Do you think that type of twat takes no easily?

I don't get this strange insistence for queer youth to proclaim everyone has it better than them, we're all in the same boat.

I know that, I never said lesbians enjoy their stupiedity anymore the I do nor did I say you enjoy being Eye-goggled.
I just find it rathar stupied when they say lesbians are fine because of they're own god-damn sexualizing of people who have no interest in them, then would break my neck if they knew I was gay, and yes I agree if they are going to ask you put on a show for them then yes they are sexist and homophobic

And I am NOT trying to wear the badge of I suffer the most, Because I think LGBTs in places like Iran have it worse.

Ambersky

I think blackcat123 is saying something fairly basic about a double standard and dont see too much to argue about, clarify maybe, but hardly controversial.

wonderfulname

Good boy, they do have it a lot worse!

You're not quite getting my point though, they would break my neck if they met me, or at least try, the injuries I've sustained for openly not wanting cock, at the hands of guys, would quite shock some people, I am the exact same in their eyes as you are, and this is assuming that they aren't just all talk. When they say lesbian they mean a genre of porn, It's almost like thinking rock music is what you get when you bang two stones together.

Having said that I don't think I could deal with that kind of talk day in day out, I've never had to, probably why I never learned to keep my mouth shut
Someone back there mentioned that they are probably over compensating, I would agree completely with that sentiment.

blackcat123

I agree with that. My school is pretty close to a girls school. It kinda got out that a gril there was lesbian(or possibly bi) and someone throw a stone at her head, she never went back. So yes queer women can be at the hands of rathar volient people just like queer men can be