Fatalistic/doomed view of the future

LegacyUser

Ok, going to try to keep this short and not a huge moan! Basically I have several what I perceive as 'problems' and from examining them I've started to think that the source of my problems is my attitude that I am 'doomed'.

I'm a 20 y/o girl and I just feel as though my life is practically written out for me already, I feel as though I am doomed to never find happiness or success or a happy relationship. I struggled with depression throughout much of my teenage years, and although I feel much better now, I'm inwardly still quite prone to feelings of melancholy. I don't find it easy to trust people, and although I have a core group of very good friends, I find it very difficult to make new friends outside of this group. Meeting guys is also a big issue for me. I have never had a proper boyfriend - I've kissed plenty of guys in pubs/nightclubs, but obviously these things rarely develop, and all my sexual experiences have been borderline awful. I am intelligent, talented, did well at school/doing well at college (I don't mean to sound so bigheaded!).

Yet I cannot shake the feeling that my life will be a huge failure. I feel as though I will never find someone and have a serious relationship, have a family etc. I feel as though my friends will all marry and move on, and I will be alone. In terms of my career, I feel as though my lack of confidence will hold me back and I will never achieve my potential. I worry constantly about these things, every night before I fall asleep I just imagine my lonely future ahead of me.
I realise how ridiculous this all sounds, and I should snap out of it, but I honestly have such a fatalistic view of life. Outwardly though I appear very happy and optimistic (as a teenager I encountered some cruel reactions from friends while I was depressed and so have learned to mask these feelings!), but I feel as though I'm having a mid-life crisis at the age of 20. I look at other people my own age and see that they have boyfriends/are more confident/seem to be going places with their lives, and I feel so hopeless and 'behind' in comparison. I feel as though family members are looking at me and thinking that I'm a lost cause - because I feel like a lost cause myself.

Honestly, I feel like a crazy person reading back over this, but I can't think of another way to explain how I feel. I feel as though my life is practically over. I know I ought to 'snap out of it' and stop being so melodramatic, but I have been imagining this and looking forward with this attitude for years now, and nothing I can tell myself convinces me otherwise. I'm so sorry if anyone is offended by this, I realize I am being negative/melodramatic without much cause. But if anyone has any thoughts on how I can stop feeling this way it would be much appreciated! Or if anyone can reassure me that I'm not the only person who's ever felt this way??

premierlass

It's tempting to believe that everyone else is confident and happy, but perhaps there are people who look at your happy facade and your academic achievements with envy. The truth is, we don't know the problems other people face in their own lives.

However, you shouldn't be feeling that much unhappiness and anxiety, and I wonder if your depression is being treated properly, or if your treatment needs an adjustment.

robman60

I could have written a lot of that post. Although I'm younger than you, I have this same view for some reason (Made a somewhat similar topic some weeks ago, went unregistered when I made it though). Like you, I do well academically, but I just feel as if people will see me as wasted potential if I mess it all up...

Unfortunately, I can't really give advice, but I can at least give you the consolation that someone else feels the same.

The further I look into it, the more I think it's linked with depression though.

Good luck, OP.