To give a relationship a second go.... or not???

LegacyUser

Hi, as crazy as this sounds I need some advice from people in a relationship with someone from a non-English speaking country (but all advice is welcome). Their must be lots of you out there these days! I'm male in my early 30's.

Basically I was dating a girl from an eastern European country for almost 1 year, during this time we lived together for about 4 months. Due to me voicing my doubts about our future we broke up and had little or no contact for 2 months after. My doubts ranged from;

* I never felt like we had deep conversations on a range of topics as I would have had with Irish girlfriends in the past, and I missed this. Which made me question is we really has that much in common to begin with.
* Attending Irish events she was quiet during group conversation, as after a few drinks most people will give up speaking slowly and clearly, and I can understand why no problem, I did the same myself for years.
* A big one for me is when we were with her friends and family,and they would have to speak some English just to keep me in the conversation. I really really appreciated this but I felt like a muppet because of it and hate the thought of having to do this for life (per say!!!).
* If we started a family I know she would like to raise the family close to home, as they are very family orientated. This again would be difficult for me living in say country because of the language barrier.

I could go on but basically when we are together we have fun and their is love between us. Now some contact has started again and suggestions of meeting up to talk. I don't know what to do; A. Meet up, which will mean getting caught up in the moment and starting to date again (possibly!).
B. Cut all communication and concentrate on finding someone new (which is a lot more difficult than is sounds!)?

Confused.com.............

Moomoo1

it sounds like the language barrier is quite big there, so perhaps it's no surprise you cannot talk on a range of topics?

I mean yeah, I grew up in Russia, but that doesn't really help me tell you what to do. But I think that if you really want to be with each other then the middle two points don't really matter. The first - well hopefully she will learn english with time. The last one is a problem - does she not want a familly in ireland at all?

James400

Confused.com............. wrote: »

B. Cut all communication and concentrate on finding someone new (which is a lot more difficult than is sounds!)?

This part of your post rang alarm bells as far as i'm concerned, because you're quite obviously contemplating it- otherwise you wouldn't have mentioned it.

Personally i would give it another go because finding someone who you love and can have fun with can be rare enough these days, you said she has these traits which is attractive in any girl regardless of her background.

If you don't give it another chance you'll be wondering why you didn't if you can't find anybody else.

Lon Dubh

Couldn't you make an effot to learn at least the basics of her language? This would help you around her relatives and there is a good chance you would pick up more over time, once you had some bascis. You can get CD's to learn many languages. This is what I would do if I was going out with someone who had a different primary language to me.

Over time her english should improve also so allowing for more indepth conversations between you. But then possibly you will discover that you are miles apart on some issues, so there is a risk, but to some extent you might have this with anyone anyway as it takes time to get to know people.