Help - my lover is due to call to me at the weekend and I have a pimple on my arse.

ilovesleep

And I am not joking. How the fook do I get rid of that pimple quickly.

The Internet Explorer

Ask it nicely.

Marty McFly

Just cut it off and when she sees the cut on your arse make up something manly like you got cut doing some hardcore D.I.Y.

ilovesleep

luvbulmers01 wrote: »

Just cut it off and when she sees the cut on your arse make up something manly like you got cut doing some hardcore D.I.Y.

I am female. And my lover is a man.

Killer Wench

Slap a bit of toothpaste on it.

Marty McFly

ilovesleep wrote: »

I am female. And my lover is a man.

Oops but same could kind of apply just cut it off, then come up with some girly mishap to explain the cut.

Duggy747

It's a pimple, so what.

Unless it's a bulging mass of pus that practically takes up the entire one side of your arse then I don't think your lover will give a shìt.

If he does, then he ain't no man.

Aoifey!

Will he really care?

Killer Wench

He probably won't care, but she will think it is the biggest, unsexiest thing ever and that may make her self-conscious. If she feels like he is only looking at the pimple, then she probably won't enjoy herself. So, it really isn't about him but her own perceptions.

UnknownSpecies

Sit down on some footpath hard and fast, just don't wear your good underwear

randylonghorn

Killer Wench wrote: »

He probably won't care, but she will think it is the biggest, unsexiest thing ever and that may make her self-conscious. If she feels like he is only looking at the pimple, then she probably won't enjoy herself. So, it really isn't about him but her own perceptions.

In fairness, even by that logic, it would be much more of an issue if it was on her face. He isn't going to spend the weekend looking at her naked arse.

And even that part of the weekend where it might be on show, he's likely to be distracted by the local sights!

ilovesleep

Killer Wench wrote: »

He probably won't care, but she will think it is the biggest, unsexiest thing ever and that may make her self-conscious. If she feels like he is only looking at the pimple, then she probably won't enjoy herself. So, it really isn't about him but her own perceptions.

he will be paying a lot of attention to my arse, that is for sure

Fago!

ilovesleep wrote: »

I am female. And my lover is a man.

Makes things infinitely funnier.

1. tissues - check
2. pain killers - check
3. ice to keep swelling down
4. squeeze it.
5. ????
6. profit.

if it's a big **** off boil, leave it alone and don't anger it. will get worse if you.

Killer Wench

randylonghorn wrote: »

In fairness, even by that logic, it would be much more of an issue if it was on her face. He isn't going to spend the weekend looking at her naked arse.

And even that part of the weekend where it might be on show, he's likely to be distracted by the local sights!

Doesn't matter the location. If she's panicking enough to post a thread about it on AH, then it will be the center of her universe come the weekend when loverboy arrives.

ilovesleep

randylonghorn wrote: »

In fairness, even by that logic, it would be much more of an issue if it was on her face. He isn't going to spend the weekend looking at her naked arse.

And even that part of the weekend where it might be on show, he's likely to be distracted by the local sights!

He very well will be feeling up my arse.

Fago!

Also, lover? how 90's Rawr

randylonghorn

Killer Wench wrote: »

Doesn't matter the location. If she's panicking enough to post a thread about it on AH, then it will be the center of her universe come the weekend when loverboy arrives.

Women!!!!111!!!! :rolleyes:








/runs

Killer Wench

Eww... this thread is seriously beginning to creep me out now.

ilovesleep

Fago! wrote: »

Makes things infinitely funnier.

1. tissues - check
2. pain killers - check
3. ice to keep swelling down
4. squeeze it.
5. ????
6. profit.

if it's a big **** off boil, leave it alone and don't anger it. will get worse if you.

Its not a boil, thank god. But there is a pimple there

Fago!

ilovesleep wrote: »

Its not a boil, thank god. But there is a pimple there

ok good.

Option 1 - leave it and hopefully it'll go away

Option 2 - as suggested in my first post, pop it. get tissue for blood and other fluids, ice for swelling, and painkiller for obvious reasons.

Option 2.5 - use a hoover to suck the blood/whatever out.

Option 3 - it's only wednesday so clearasil or some pimple cream might make it smaller and less noticeable by friday/saturday.

good luck

im invisible

ilovesleep wrote: »

he will be paying a lot of attention to my arse, that is for sure

you like it like that

JimiWonderDoor 92

luvbulmers01 wrote: »

Just cut it off and when she sees the cut on your arse make up something manly like you got cut doing some hardcore D.I.Y.

Does anyone else here love a good old pimple every now and then, just out of Nostalgia?

ilovesleep

Fago! wrote: »

Also, lover? how 90's Rawr

what else am I supposed to call him? Boyfriend? Partner? We are two randy people that meet regularly to ride the pants of each other.

Killer Wench

Friend with benefits
F*** buddy
Horizontal Polka Partner
Booty Call
Not good enough to be seen out with me.

Fago!

My brother says "tell him you made it especially for him"

Aoifey!

Fago! wrote: »

My brother says "tell him you made it especially for him"

You're discussing internet peoples ass pimples with your brother?

ilovesleep

Fago! wrote: »

My brother says "tell him you made it especially for him"

You told your brother about my post in after hours? Tell your ma please. She may have some good advice for me. If I tell my ma, she'll tell me I'm a wh0re.

ardinn

Tell him you have it.

Then bend over and ask him to hammer it back where it came from!

Fago!

Aoifey! wrote: »

You're discussing internet peoples ass pimples with your brother?

yep. After hours is pure comedy. They love AH from what i tell them.

ilovesleep

Killer Wench wrote: »

Eww... this thread is seriously beginning to creep me out now.

There is no need to be creeped out.

Dunny

http://www.pollsb.com/photos/o/34520-wrong.jpg

Aoifey!

On a side note, I think friends with benefits sounds better.

Fago!

Sex buddies

guitarzero

Just sit him down and tell him that you both need to talk. He'll be all worried and bothered. Then tell him that you dont know how long its been going on but its not serious. He'll be all flustered by now. Then, tell him that you've hid it pretty well until now and that its not him, its you. Stand up, turn around, show him the booty. If he's gone, give me a shout. x

randylonghorn

Dunny! wrote: »

http://www.pollsb.com/photos/o/34520-wrong.jpg

I don't think she means that kind of "pimple".

--LOS--

why the hell would you care?

also who says 'lover' :P

Fago!

--LOS-- wrote: »

why the hell would you care?

also who says 'lover' :P

Thank you los.

--LOS--

Fago! wrote: »

Thank you los.

no no thank you

/tips hat

pragmatic1

OP he wont give a toss. Neurosis is a bigger turn off than any pimple could ever be.

Dunny

pragmatic1 wrote: »

OP he wont give a toss. Neurosis is a bigger turn off than any pimple could ever be.

He'l want one instead.

ilovesleep

Fago! wrote: »

Sex buddies

thanks for this. Didnt know what to label him to be honest.

ilovesleep

Think I'll get him to blast my arse with piss if he is bothered by it. That will occupy his mind for a while.

guitarzero

ilovesleep wrote: »

Think I'll get him to blast my arse with piss if he is bothered by it. That will occupy his mind for a while.

.................Wow............you're every mans wet dream.

Morag

Draw a face around it, make it the nose and draw crossed eyes and a mouth with the tounge sticking out , extra points if you use glitter. See how long it takes him to mention it and if he can keep banging away with it looking at him.

Elmidena

First off, are you scared that he'd never screw you again because you got a zit on your rear end? Pretty sure that given a choice of a small throbbing red area under your undies, the spot's not gonna grab his attention.

Cover it in toothpaste or savlon and wear clothes and undies that don't rub the spot. If it's that bad then squeeze it and chuck a silver plaster on it to heal it up quickly, you still have a few days before he's there. If it still hasn't disappeared before he's there getting his horn on then wear lingerie such as suspenders that hide the pus and enhance the p*ssy....

But seriously, if you're fretting out about a spot, then is that "relationship" mature enough to have sex involved? Do you feel compelled to wear makeup and glamorous clothes all the time to feel adequate for his attentions? Pretty sure that he's not stupid enough to think that everyone's perfect and most likely has his own insecurities. If he thinks less of you for not having unblemished skin then for christ's sake what are you doing banging him????

irelandspurs

Dab a bit of poo on it and he'll just think you haven't wiped properly again.

Aoifey!

Sunshine! wrote: »

First off, are you scared that he'd never screw you again because you got a zit on your rear end? Pretty sure that given a choice of a small throbbing red area under your undies, the spot's not gonna grab his attention.

Cover it in toothpaste or savlon and wear clothes and undies that don't rub the spot. If it's that bad then squeeze it and chuck a silver plaster on it to heal it up quickly, you still have a few days before he's there. If it still hasn't disappeared before he's there getting his horn on then wear lingerie such as suspenders that hide the pus and enhance the p*ssy....

But seriously, if you're fretting out about a spot, then is that "relationship" mature enough to have sex involved? Do you feel compelled to wear makeup and glamorous clothes all the time to feel adequate for his attentions? Pretty sure that he's not stupid enough to think that everyone's perfect and most likely has his own insecurities. If he thinks less of you for not having unblemished skin then for christ's sake what are you doing banging him????

She's horny?

Skuxx

I gota say this seems like the biggest troll thread I've read in a long time!

ilovesleep

irelandspurs wrote: »

Dab a bit of poo on it and he'll just think you haven't wiped properly again.

That would work if the pimple wasn't so high up on the crack.

ilovesleep

alan1990 wrote: »

I gota say this seems like the biggest troll thread I've read in a long time!

I can ensure you. This is not a troll. There is a pimple on my bum. And my **** buddy is due to visit me.

The Scientician

It's Wednesday. Squeeze it.