I'm looking for a lackey, any takers?

gonedrinking

I need someone to work for 1 hour in the evenings when I came home from work. I need them to cook me dinner and then clean my house. I will pay 20 euros for an hours work, and I will need you from Mon-Fri. So its a handy way for someone to make an extra 100 quid a week. Any takers? Or does anyone know of a company which provides such a service? I know theres plenty of cleaning companies out there but not sure if any of them would cook your dinner as well?

FortuneChip

Get Married?

James T Kirk

sold*

*no bum-sex!

LowOdour

will you want to be referred to as "master"?

gonedrinking

LowOdour wrote: »

will you want to be referred to as "master"?

nah it would be too awkward for both of us if I was referred to as master

gonedrinking

FortuneChip wrote: »

Get Married?

Thats too much hassle, I just want a stress free life. Charlie Harper is my idol, I'm aiming for a similar set up as what he has.

carolmon

gonedrinking wrote: »

I need them to cook me dinner and then clean my house. I will pay 20 euros for an hours work, and I will need you from Mon-Fri. So its a handy way for someone to make an extra 100 quid a week[/QUOTE

I bet you've never done cleaning or cooking if you think an hour's work is all that's needed.

zenno

gonedrinking wrote: »

I need someone to work for 1 hour in the evenings when I came home from work.

yeah i'll be you're bitch for 50 Cent more.

things are getting tight, so let me know the location of this work, before I have to sell my arse. :eek:

Caoimhín

I used to have a lady from Nepal come in for 2 hours a day to clean, do laundry and cook. Worked out very well.

gonedrinking

carolmon wrote: »

carolmon wrote: »

I need them to cook me dinner and then clean my house. I will pay 20 euros for an hours work, and I will need you from Mon-Fri. So its a handy way for someone to make an extra 100 quid a week[/QUOTE

I bet you've never done cleaning or cooking if you think an hour's work is all that's needed.

Well if its done everyday then that amount of time should be enough. Plus my place isn't that big and its not like I want it looking like buckingham palace, just a quick once over will do, bit of hoovering, wipe down the worktops, clean the skidmarks from the toilet etc

gonedrinking

Caoimhín wrote: »

I used to have a lady from Nepal come in for 2 hours a day to clean, do laundry and cook. Worked out very well.

Can I have her number? How much does she charge? Is it all legit or is it human trafficker territory? Not that I have any objections to that :pac:

Micky Dolenz

Get an Au Pair. Pay them €60 a week. They live with you so are always at your call.

Small details like having no kids can probably be concealed easily enough.

orourkeda

ilovelamp2000

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

Get an Au Pair. Pay them €60 a week. They live with you so are always at your call.

Small details like having no kids can probably be concealed easily enough.

A lot cheaper than a hooker too.

gonedrinking

zenno wrote: »

yeah i'll be you're bitch for 50 Cent more.

things are getting tight, so let me know the location of this work, before I have to sell my arse. :eek:

are ye about Dublin?

zenno

roger that. I am in the swords area but the only spunk is' i'm a bit gargled but not too drunk. any life insurance ?

jasus man, there is no way hosey that you will get a wanker to work for you. so unless you want to go underground into the anthills then you might get someone to clean you're house and who know's what more. but hey it's all in the contract if you have one.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_DH1egjp4g

gonedrinking

zenno wrote: »

jasus man, there is no way hosey that you will get a wanker to work for you. so unless you want to go underground into the anthills then you might get someone to clean you're house and who know's what more.

I don't see why not. Theres bound to be tons of people on the dole who would like to make a handy 100 quid tax free for 5 hours work. If no one is interested I suppose I could always ask one of my friends to do it or get one of those beggars on the street to do it.

CrackisWhack

gonedrinking wrote: »

I need someone to work for 1 hour in the evenings when I came home from work. I need them to cook me dinner and then clean my house. I will pay 20 euros for an hours work, and I will need you from Mon-Fri. So its a handy way for someone to make an extra 100 quid a week. Any takers? Or does anyone know of a company which provides such a service? I know theres plenty of cleaning companies out there but not sure if any of them would cook your dinner as well?

If you want the dinner and cleaning done in an hour, dinner would most likely be a pot noodle.

gonedrinking

CrackisWhack wrote: »

If you want the dinner and cleaning done in an hour, dinner would most likely be a pot noodle.

they could do Jamies 30 minute meals

Lapin

1, Buy a clatter of paper plates. (No washing up).

2, Just get take aways every night. (Cheaper than €20 a go).

3, Sell everything in your kitchen, (You won't need it).

purity

Would chips and sausages do every night that's all I can cook, I'm a great cleaner though;)

WindSock

Stick a notice up in your local supermarket. Try out different nationalities and see which ones food you like best.

CrackisWhack

gonedrinking wrote: »

they could do Jamies 30 minute meals

Have you ever tried to cook one of jamies 30min meals? I did, took me about 4 hours:pac:

Mr. Denton

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=na1v3_RloJg

sollar

For €20 an hour you'll get someone no bother. I know people paying €8.50 per hour to a polish cleaner.

Lapin

sollar wrote: »

I know people paying €8.50 per hour to a polish cleaner.

Would that be a Polish polish cleaner ?

efb

sollar wrote: »

For €20 an hour you'll get someone no bother. I know people paying €8.50 per hour to a polish cleaner.

just to polish?

sollar

Yes Polish and some polishing is involved too

the last cleaner was russian through the work too quickly so was sacked /doo domm tish/

Bosco boy

CaoimhÃ*n wrote: »

I used to have a lady from Nepal come in for 2 hours a day to clean, do laundry and cook. Worked out very well.

that's a pretty long commute to work!

Ditch

sollar wrote: »

I know people paying €8.50 per hour to a polish cleaner.

Does she polish his pole for that ....?

YFlyer

carolmon wrote: »

gonedrinking wrote: »

I need them to cook me dinner and then clean my house. I will pay 20 euros for an hours work, and I will need you from Mon-Fri. So its a handy way for someone to make an extra 100 quid a week[/QUOTE

I bet you've never done cleaning or cooking if you think an hour's work is all that's needed.

Well if the work is done 5 days a week, an hour should be more then enough

katiebelle

First of all you should get a housebitch for two hours at a tenner an hour. They would be able to give your place a good clean and cook you food.

Secondly you should get them to come in the morning as they dont really need to come in the evening. They can cook your dinner and you can stick it in the microwave when you get in.

Leave them a list of exactly what you want done and what you like to eat.
You will have to do a bit of shopping to ensure they have stuff to cook unless you want then to use one of their hours to shop for you.
Remember you are the boss and make they know what to expect.

No reason at all you wont be able to find someone as people are crying out for work but be sensible about it and get your moneys worth.

I remember the good old days when I had money and I had a housekeeper and a nanny . Now I have feck all :-)

Noreen1

YFlyer wrote: »

carolmon wrote: »

Well if the work is done 5 days a week, an hour should be more then enough

Depends on your definition of dinner.
If it's frozen chips with whatever fast food - then maybe, if you're content with a half-cleaned apartment, and no laundry done.

On the other hand - if you want good quality food, prepared and cooked from scratch (say, potatoes , meat and 2 veg. ) then there's a fair chunk of that hour gone......

mikom

gonedrinking wrote: »

I need someone to work for 1 hour in the evenings when I came home from work. I need them to cook me dinner and then clean my house. I will pay 20 euros for an hours work, and I will need you from Mon-Fri. So its a handy way for someone to make an extra 100 quid a week. Any takers? Or does anyone know of a company which provides such a service? I know theres plenty of cleaning companies out there but not sure if any of them would cook your dinner as well?

http://intern.jobbridge.ie
Just class it as "Domestic technician" or some such bollox

spagboll

someday, when I have money, I will also hire a "lacky", but it won't be some randomer off boards who will probably jizz into my food

Eric Cartman

FortuneChip wrote: »

Get Married?

thatll cost him far more than 100 a week

MagicSean

I was thinking of getting someone in twice a week for a couple of hours to do the washing and cleaning. It's not a bad idea. Both me and my partner work shift work and the odd time we get together is usually spent doing housework and stuff so it would be a great investment imho.

Bens

Get an intern. They are free.
I think i'll get a couple.
Experience offered = Become expert at Cleaning and skivvying.

Kidchameleon

Caoimhín wrote: »

I used to have a lady from Nepal come in for 2 hours a day to clean, do laundry and fook. Worked out very well.

FYP

Millicent

katiebelle wrote: »

First of all you should get a housebitch for two hours at a tenner an hour.

What the fuc.k is a "housebitch", pray tell?

Oranage2

how would this affect my tax credits? would you be paying my prsi, what's the benefits and pension plan like?

mikom

Millicent wrote: »

What the fuc.k is a housebitch?

It's what most people live in, bitch.

Millicent

mikom wrote: »

It's what most people live in, bitch.

Ah, feck ye Mikom. I cackled!

mikom

Millicent wrote: »

Ah, feck ye Mikom. I cackled!

Thank fuck for that.
hopefully I'll avoid a banning for personal abuse so.

katiebelle

What the fuc.k is a "housebitch", pray tell?

Sorry if that offended anyone. That's what domestic staff are jokingly referred to in certain parts of the US. You can also have a gardenbitch ( gardener ) and a poolbitch for to clean your pool. I could never afford the gardenbitch and never had anything bigger than a paddling pool though

LukeS_

sollar wrote: »

Yes Polish and some polishing is involved too

the last cleaner was russian through the work too quickly so was sacked /doo domm tish/

She was probably Russian because she was Hungary.

Capt'n Midnight

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

Get an Au Pair. Pay them €60 a week. They live with you so are always at your call.

Small details like having no kids can probably be concealed easily enough.

When the Au Pair arrives tell her that the "child" is asleep upstairs and not to be disturbed and then head out for the evening. When you get back and discover the child is "missing". You can now blackmail the Au Pair in to paying you to keep quiet.

DublinWriter

Four pages in and still no sign of y*re m*.

Solnskaya

I thought this was a thread about Enda's Lackeys, the 5000 he is gathering up at the moment to skivvy get valuable experience in the workplace. Enda got 5000 no bother, you only want one, should be easy, and as a big plus, you are actually looking to pay moneeys