Never have time to enjoy myself

LegacyUser

I feel like I never have time to do anything. I have no time management skills at all. I'm 22 and I feel like I'm too old to be doing anything I want to do or I just don't have the time. I don't exercise because I have to study, I don't go to the cinema, or out with my friends because if I do I'll feel guilty about not working. But here's the catch - I don't do any work at all. I feel like I don't have time to do what I want to do because of study but I do none. I'd stay at home and watch tv or surf the net all day and then feel guilty at the end of the day for doing nothing and tell myself "tomorrow, I'll do some work." but it never changes, ever.

I look at friends of mine in the same course as me - they have a part time job, they study really hard, they go to the gym, they play sports, they're involved in societies and they do well in all of their exams even with all these extra curricular activities so, in theory, I should be able to enjoy myself as well as having the time to study. But why can't I get organised? I can't even get out of bed in the morning - getting up before 12 is early for me lately. I'm a joke. I do nothing at all and the less I do, the more depressed it makes me and the less I want to do anything. It's just a vicious circle I can't escape from.

I tell myself that when I graduate, I'll have time to pick up a musical instrument, or play a sport but in reality, I'll probably be even busier so I won't be able to. I look back on my 1st few years in college and I see how I've wasted my time and how much free time I actually had but at the time, I thought I had no free time to do anything. I don't want to waste another second but I don't know how to stop wasting time.

Advice?

Overheal

outoftimeallthetime wrote: »

I feel like I never have time to do anything. I have no time management skills at all. I'm 22 and I feel like I'm too old to be doing anything I want to do or I just don't have the time. I don't exercise because I have to study, I don't go to the cinema, or out with my friends because if I do I'll feel guilty about not working. But here's the catch - I don't do any work at all. I feel like I don't have time to do what I want to do because of study but I do none. I'd stay at home and watch tv or surf the net all day and then feel guilty at the end of the day for doing nothing and tell myself "tomorrow, I'll do some work." but it never changes, ever.

I look at friends of mine in the same course as me - they have a part time job, they study really hard, they go to the gym, they play sports, they're involved in societies and they do well in all of their exams even with all these extra curricular activities so, in theory, I should be able to enjoy myself as well as having the time to study. But why can't I get organised? I can't even get out of bed in the morning - getting up before 12 is early for me lately. I'm a joke. I do nothing at all and the less I do, the more depressed it makes me and the less I want to do anything. It's just a vicious circle I can't escape from.

I tell myself that when I graduate, I'll have time to pick up a musical instrument, or play a sport but in reality, I'll probably be even busier so I won't be able to. I look back on my 1st few years in college and I see how I've wasted my time and how much free time I actually had but at the time, I thought I had no free time to do anything. I don't want to waste another second but I don't know how to stop wasting time.

Advice?

Everything in your post screams Procrastination. Your brain in stuck in this loop that everything you want to do has to wait until later. So nothing ever happens. It's like that neon sign in front of my favorite bar that always reads: "Free Beer Tomorrow". That free beer is never going to happen, OP. Ever.

LegacyUser

outoftimeallthetime wrote: »

I look at friends of mine in the same course as me - they have a part time job, they study really hard, they go to the gym, they play sports, they're involved in societies and they do well in all of their exams even with all these extra curricular activities so, in theory, I should be able to enjoy myself as well as having the time to study.

I could be wrong on this, but what you say about your friends smacks of "Facebook envy". People tend to make their lives sound more interesting when talking about them to other people. If someone works a part-time job, that means there's a lot of time when they're not working, and probably aimlessly surfing the web too - they just don't broadcast that. I wouldn't worry too much about what your friends are up to - we all find ourselves at a loose end once in a while.

As far as motivating yourself is concerned... I don't really know what to say. I'm tempted to spiel off a list of things you could do, but you probably already know all of them. It's really up to you to try, but there's lots out there to do. I'm volunteering, learning a language, trying to get fit, desperately searching for work and catching up on reading this summer - mainly because I'm flat broke, and anything more exciting would break the bank.

Jack B. Badd

outoftimeallthetime wrote: »

I feel like I never have time to do anything. I have no time management skills at all.

Make yourself a timetable applicable to your usual Mon-Fri college obligations - include lectures/classes and realistic study periods in between or after your college days, include time for breakfast, lunch & dinner. Once you have this in place & are sticking to it (fyi - it takes approx 21 days for something to become habit so this is a realistic timescale to expect it to start sticking), add a couple of evening classes, gym sessions, hobby periods & you can spread these over your weekend too.

Time management is a learned skill and you need to work at it.

LegacyUser

hi op,

Don't be too hard on yourself. At least you realise that you have to change and have posted here to look for advice. It is possible for you to change your ways.

You sound very like me when I was an undergrad student. I too had no time management skills and no work/life balance. However I have learned to have a better balance as the years went on. What I found worked for me, was that when I knew that I had an event or something coming up and that I would not have the time say that day/evening/weekend to do college work, ironically I found that I worked harder during the week as I knew I simply would not have the time at the weekend to do the work.

So what I would say to you is to start maybe by selecting one hobby/interest you would like to do, which before today, you felt that you did not have the time to do. Look at it this way, it is only one hobby, so allow yourself the time each week to do this.
What you might find then is that you might end up changing your routine without even realising it. e.g. when you wake up on Tuesday and you remember that you have soccer etc, that evening, you might say to yourself, ok so I had better get this assignment/project done before training this evening.

Also, if you have a strong desire to start exercising every day, you could go for a walk at the start of each day, allow yourself this. Because if you end up spending you days on the internet etc. anyway, then going for a short walk at the start of the day won't make a difference in relation to the amount of work you will do that day.

Then set aside one evening per week where you do something to relax, e.g. go to the cinema, go to see a play in your local arts centre, visit a place of historical interest, etc. depending on you own interests of course! some of these things will cost money, but there are many free events also, especially at this time of the year.

Good luck op, remember, be kind to yourself and allow yourself the time to relax, unwind etc.