Do you prefer being single or in a relationship?

lolly28

Wanted to open this thread to see what people thought! In My group of friends there is one that just prefers to be on her own? Is there many people who prefer being on their own?

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

Malari

I loved being single when I was single. I had a great time Now I'm in a relationship I wouldn't want it any other way. I don't think there was any time in my life I longed for a boyfriend, but I suppose I was ready to meet someone when my boyfriend came along.

Wibbs

I generally prefer it TBH. Though that may well be down to me having a tendency to pick emotionally high maintenance partners in the past, so the single periods came as somewhat of a relief.

krudler

Ehh, depends, theres parts of a relationship I love, and parts give me a pain in my soul. A lot of is wanting what you can't have really.
When you're in a relationship, especially one you're not happy in , you just want to be single, when you're single and have all the free time you want to do what you like you kinda wish some of that time could be spent with someone else. And around and around we go

liliq

Ah I love both!
I love being single and not having to seriously consider the effects your actions might have on an other half, and being totally your own person.
But there are parts of being in a relationship I love as well!
The relationship I'm in now (the forever one ) has the best of both. My fiance is amazing and we're both very independant people, so it's a bit of the best of both worlds!

allydylan

i'm in a relationship at the moment, it's amazing and i love it, for me being single is fine for a little while but not for an extended period of time
but that's just my opinion

Chinafoot

I always find this a really weird question. Its almost as though relationships are all the same. I understand that there are some things that people perhaps find a little hard to cope with in every relationship, such as feeling tied to the person or wanting to be able to do as they please without having to think of someone else.

I prefer being with my boyfriend than I would being without him but thats because I love him, not because I prefer to be in a relationship over being single.

I think if you say you prefer being single to being in a relationship it just means you haven't found the right relationship.

candy-gal1

Its the million dollar question isnt it, personally I love both equally tbh. I make the 100% most of both times when im in it
Im single at the moment, the past few mths, and I love it.
Its the broken hearted bit I HATE!

seenitall

I prefer being in a relationship, because I like to think I have a lot to offer in one and am well able to enjoy all the benefits and advantages of a good one to their utmost.

However, when a relationship goes bad, it can be about one hundred million times worse than singledom; so I am also more cautious when it comes to relationships than I used to be (aside from the fact that for me nowadays, they are more difficult to come by anyway).

Bleurgh ... eternal singledom beckons!

chillywilly

Chinafoot wrote: »

I always find this a really weird question. Its almost as though relationships are all the same. I understand that there are some things that people perhaps find a little hard to cope with in every relationship, such as feeling tied to the person or wanting to be able to do as they please without having to think of someone else.

I prefer being with my boyfriend than I would being without him but thats because I love him, not because I prefer to be in a relationship over being single.

I think if you say you prefer being single to being in a relationship it just means you haven't found the right relationship.

Damn you and your logical answers!

gargleblaster

What Wibbs said, only from the opposite side. I don't like being a demanding person but I always end up feeling like one, so being single is most definitely preferable.

Abi

I've hardly been single since I was a teenager. I certainly wouldn't be afraid to be on my own, it's just the way things happened I suppose. The thread has got me thinking though. I guess I do sway towards having the company of one person. Having a best friend you can tell anything to and vice versa, with the added benefit of dropping the hand on them :pac:

ChloeElla

I like both, but it always depends because there are advantages & disadvantages to both. I'm in a relationship now, and love having someone to spend time with, care for me, etc. But when I'm single, I love going out & flirting, not worrying about someone else. Right now I'm happy being with someone, but only because it's a very happy, relaxed relationship - I couldn't be bothered being in a demanding one!

Stargazer7

I don't think I have enough practise of relationships yet...I've been mostly single. But I was single for 2 years before I entered into my last relationship and I had a serious think about whether I would take the plunge or not. I was happy enough on my own and while I liked the idea of all the positive things that come with being with someone I seriously don't like the messiness that comes when things go sour. I'm also pretty slow to trust people so that probably has something to do with it.

I just can't do the whole night club/pub meeting up thing so my chances are restricted to new friends or people I meet through hobbies. Makes things pretty hard.

Wibbs

Chinafoot wrote: »

I think if you say you prefer being single to being in a relationship it just means you haven't found the right relationship.

I agree with you up to this point. I do see where you're coming from C, but I do think some objectively and on balance prefer to be single. Or it suits them better. I reckon it suits me all things being equal. I defo tend to prefer temporary arrangements. When I've been in love, I was very deeply in love, but even still preferred to have a lot of my own time. Sure the first couple of years are OK even great, but then it can become very routine and domestic for me and I don't do domestic so well. At all. My idea of hell is a house party for couples. And I'm one of them. Like I say that's just me. I realise many if not most like that long term security vibe, I just don't. Maybe because I'm an only child and have been alone more than not growing up so that's how I'm set up? I've pretty much always been the in between transitory boyfriend and that suited and suits me and my personality.

I dunno C when I hear the "you just haven't found the right relationship yet" it's not that unlike when I tell people I don't want kids or even particularly like kids outside of small doses they inevitably come back with "ah when they're your own you'll think differently". Nope I can tell you I'm pretty sure I wouldn't. I do realise that these aren't said for a reason and it's the case for the majority of normal people out there, but I'm abnormal.

krudler

Wibbs wrote: »

I dunno C when I hear the "you just haven't found the right relationship yet" it's not that unlike when I tell people I don't want kids or even particularly like kids outside of small doses they inevitably come back with "ah when they're your own you'll think differently". Nope I can tell you I'm pretty sure I wouldn't. I do realise that these aren't said for a reason and it's the case for the majority of normal people out there, but I'm abnormal.

I like relationships but I dont need one like some people seem to think you do. being single isnt something to be pitied or ugh, cause to be set up. I can meet people myself just fine thanks very much. Theres great parts of both being with someone and being single, and crappy parts too.

Lucyfur

I love love LOVE the relationship I'm in. Everything about it is just right. It's the baby bears porridge of relationships:D

I certainly don't need to be in one. I was perfectly happy on my own before I met himself.

I had one hellish period of time that I don't class as a relationship cos it was so f*cked up but it made me amazingly strong and gave me a beautiful son, so I have to take the good out of it:D

wild_cat

I'd rather be single than go out with some one I hate just for the sake of being in a relationship.

Or settling or what every its called.

But I'd take a mutual loving relationship over being single.

sam34

hah wibbs, u took the words out of my mouth. I hate the you-just-haven't-found-the-right-one line,as it's so condescending and assumes everyone wants the same from life. and spot on, it's the same as the wait-til-you-have-your-own-kids line.

some people can't seem to comprehend that some others do not want relationships and/or kids. some do, and that's fine, some don't,but apparently that's not so fine and they will be the subject of pity and even scorn for doing what they know to be rightforthem rather than blindly adhering to so called norms

rant over!

long term relationship/marriage? not for me, ta very much. for lots of reasons, I am happily single and intend to remain that way.

mariebeth

I'm single at the moment, and while it's enjoyable and I do like being single, I am at the point now where I'm a bit tired of it and would love to find someone. however, I prefer being single over being in a relationship that is wrong, therefore I'm not going to rush in to a relationship just for the sake of being in one.

LegacyUser

Well both can be really good!
I enjoyed when I was single, although I suppose someone could argue that I have never been a single adult, so I mightn't be in as good a position to judge.
I met my boyfriend around my 17th birthday, and am still with him 7 years later, so I don't know if it feels different to be a single adult rather than a single teenager.
I felt pretty adult at 17 though. Was going to pubs and clubs already.
I never really felt I wanted a serious relationship at the time.
I did have a few "boyfriends" over the years, but I don't really class them as real relationships because I would always finish it with someone after about a month and a half, or 2 months. Nothing sexual ever happened with any of them, it was more just a teenage thing of meeting and kissing at discoes, someone to hold hands with in the street, someone to cuddle and class as your 'boyfriend' - I usually ended up becoming more friends with them-fairly typical teenage type of thing I think. I still chat to them today when I run into them,they're sound lads.
There was one boyfriend when I was 16 who I did start to develop feelings for because we actually spoke about our lives and feelings and I confided alot of things to him, but he turned out to be a pathological liar and a con man, who was only spinning me bull**** stories to win my heart over,. Thank God, I discovered this before anything serious happened with him!

I think that it may depend on whether you have met the right person. When I first started seeing my boyfriend, I would never for a second have thought that it would have lasted for more than a few months -being young I usually got bored of "relationships" very quickly.
With him it was very different though. I waited for that trapped, clingy, or bored feeling to come and it just never did.

I love being in a relationship, I love having someone who knows me inside out, who I can talk about absolutely anything under the sun with, who I can share laughs, kisses, cuddles, and sex with, someone who I feel safe in their arms, someone who can comfort me when times are bad, someone who can also point out when I'm in the wrong and who I can have a good fight with:D, someone who is the first number number I automatically call when something really good/funny or something really bad happens, someone who I know has always got my back, and my best interests at heart, someone who I can express my love to him, and the knowledge that I am equally loved by this person, just as much as I love him.
Just the feeling of loving somebody else, and the knowledge of being loved back by the person you love is one of the main best things I think.

These are all great things, but I can honestly say that I don't think I would feel like my life was over if we ended. Of course I would be heartbroken for awhile, but I know that I could also have a very happy life single.
We don't live together at the minute. We have lived together for a few years before, but due to a few things mainly financial, it makes better sense for us to live separately. He rents a place of his own, and I live in his house about 3-4 days and nights a week.
We both have our independent lives. I am in college, and so I do my own thing most of the week including going out with college friends occassionally, and he does his own thing too.

The majority of my college friends are single and are perfectly happy, and have a great fun lifestyle. I spend time with all these single friends without my boyfriend, and it doesn't stop me having a good time just because I'm in a relationship. I don't have any yearning to be single, I just still have a laugh with friends.
I don't feel the need for him to be everywhere with me at all times, and I'm sure he is the same with me. 3 or 4 days & nights a week (usually 3 when I'm in college) is still plenty of time spent together imo.

When we do move back in together, probably this year if money issues work out, then we will still do our own things aswell as being together alone, or spending time with our mutual friends. Our mutual friends are both of our's closest friends.

So my answer at the minute would definitely be prefer relationship, if we broke up though and you asked me a few months or a year down the line from that, then I might say single. Who knows???
Purely because I think by that stage I would have gotten over the hurt and be enjoying a happy life again, just a different form of a happy life to the happiness I have already.
I could be wrong though, maybe I wouldn't adjust as well as I think I would. It's easy for me to guess/estimate how I would feel from my position, but I could feel very different in reality. I feel I don't have enough being single experience to give a definite answer.

Sorry for rambling, my point was meant to be that you can have a very happy life whether you are single OR in a relationship, but I have babbled on too much as usual.:o

[Just reading over this it sounds a bit mushy. I don't want to give the impression that I have a fairytale "perfect" relationship, I doubt they even exist. We have lots of disagreements, and bad patches too, it's definitely not all rosy, all of the time]

Kooli

I definitely prefer being in a relationship - a good one that is. Obviously being single is better then being in a not-great relationship, but I don't think I could be as happy alone as I am with my partner. Happy, yes of course. AS happy, nope don't think so.

There are DEFINITELY things I miss about being single though, but not enough to go back there!

Asphyxia

They both have their good and bad points but I prefer being in a relationships I love having someone to curl up in bed with in the night I also love the feelings you get from being with them.

Boxoffrogs

Truthfully, I am happier single. It's very hard to get people to accept that though. I've been flying solo for the past 3 1/2 years and only recently my best friends have acknowledged that I do seem happy and no longer think I am 'putting on a brave face'. As one poster said, people can be very condescending.

I don't have emotional baggage and I'm not damaged. My last long-term relationship was a very successful and happy one

I wouldn't rule out a relationship, there are things I really miss about being in a relationship, the intimacy that you have with someone familiar is very different to that of a casual fling, the friendship that can develop. I am however very greedy with my time, liking to spend an awful lot of it alone and extremely independent. Ultimately, I suppose I'd like a part-time kind of thing, but getting someone else to go along with this is not so easy, so yes I'd opt for singledom over a full on, heavy, relationship any day.

amacachi

Chinafoot wrote: »

I always find this a really weird question. Its almost as though relationships are all the same.

Then there's those people who seem to take that on a step and can't not be in one.

Eve_Dublin

Ooooh Jesus. Toughy. Besides from the fact that I truly believe the vast majority of relationships are doomed to fail so I'm probably not the best person to ask, I'd say...

I prefer to be single I reckon, although I do like the comfort of knowing someone cares for you in a relationship and the general "keeping an eye out" for each other that goes on. That's a nice feeling. I'm with someone now. It's official. And I really like him but already I feel the inevitable compromising has begun and having to consider him in my weekend plans (even right now I'm deciding on when I can see him this weekend plus all my friends and I've only Saturday and Sunday). I LOVE going out with friends and being free to chat to anyone I like and being able to arrive home at 6am ballobas...or toddle home at 11pm if I choose and sometimes meet someone I fancy of the opposite sex for some fun and I miss that. He has his own mates and I have mine and it's hard to mesh our worlds together. The great thing about this guy though is that he's not at all jealous and is nice and sane and balanced...although he's already discussing kids and moving away together from Spain next year but I suppose that's the age we're both at and I do want kids so I suppose it's good know he's on the same page.

I suppose I'm wary from previous experiences...they were all good men but obviously they all ended and sometimes in tears. I sometimes feel what's the point. I've become very independent over the years and I love doing things on my own and pottering around on my own even though I'm quite social. I like the feeling that I'm totally in control of my emotions and I've only myself to answer for...sometimes I feel myself behaving in a way that's unrecognisable for me in relationships and I don't like that. It takes me by surprise sometimes and that doesn't suit me as I like to know who I am inside out and to know exactly how I'll respond in a given situation.

I also don't think I've been head over heals in love with someone yet so perhaps that has something to do with it....maybe this is the guy...who knows...

And it's great to have sex on tap! That's a definite bonus.

Loopie

I've found that I've never really relaxed in a relationship. I've not had many (the ones I had were LTR's) and I've been single quite a while. In the last relationship I was in, he would have been considered really good looking (women hanging out of him when we were out) and I never felt quite deserving enough or whatever to be with him, so I was expecting the rug to be pulled, so to speak. Funnily enough, he turned out to be a p*ick of gigantic proportions!

I've been single so long, used to doing my own thing, coming and going when I please and being answerable to nobody, so at this stage and going on history, I prefer being single.

That's not to say I would turn down a potential relationship to stay single, but I just always seem to feel better about myself when it's just me!

Little Acorn

sam34 wrote: »

hah wibbs, u took the words out of my mouth. I hate the you-just-haven't-found-the-right-one line,as it's so condescending and assumes everyone wants the same from life. and spot on, it's the same as the wait-til-you-have-your-own-kids line.

some people can't seem to comprehend that some others do not want relationships and/or kids. some do, and that's fine, some don't,but apparently that's not so fine and they will be the subject of pity and even scorn for doing what they know to be rightforthem rather than blindly adhering to so called norms

rant over!

long term relationship/marriage? not for me, ta very much. for lots of reasons, I am happily single and intend to remain that way.

I thought Chinafoot meant that if you asked someone who was already in a relationship, did they prefer being single and they said YES, that obviously they weren't with the right person, and shouldn't be in that relationship, because what's the point if they'd prefer being single?
I didn't think she meant that everybody would prefer to be in a relationship, just that if somebody who was already in a relationship said that they would prefer to be single, that they weren't with a right person because they shouldn't be in that relationship at all if they were happier single.
Maybe I took her post up wrong though, dunno.
In my case it was a case of meeting the right person as I always preferred being single before that. We started with both of us never considering that it would end up being a long term thing, but that's how it ended up.I think this happens with a lot of people who suddenly find that they enjoy being in a relationship, but you are right in that it is definitely not the same for everyone.
I agree that there are certainly people who are happier remaining single, and there's nothing wrong or weird about that.I do think though if somebody does prefer being single then they should make it clear to any person they are seeing that they are not looking for a serious relationship.
Hopefully most do, but I have seen women and men who prefer being single enter into relationships where they cheat and string the other person along, and just basically act like they are single anyways. So I don't see the point of why they get into relationships in the first place. It's ok seeing someone casually for a few weeks or months but anything longer than that if you are not happy and would prefer being single, is just stringing someone along, unless you are clear about everything or are in an open relationship type thing.
I have a long term boyfriend whom I love and am happy being with, but I don't have any plans for children or marriage in the future either, so I get where you're coming from with that. Even though I'm just in my early 20's I get people interfering and thinking I'm weird for this, but I just say screw them, none of their business!:pac:

Kiva.D

Singleness seems to suit me, most days. I don't foresee ever being married; that ship has sailed. It's easier being in charge of my own destiny. And I like me better this way.

ztoical

Love being single and has nothing to do with not finding 'the one' or any of that other rubbish. I enjoy my own company but I'm in no way some sort of loner, right now I could do with a bit less of a social life TBH. Plenty of friends are dating or married, some have kids and I never seen to have any the issues other people are always posting about - feeling left out or like third wheel etc. O there's been the odd one or two friends who became a little painful to be around but my close friends are a big mix of all sorts - single, dating, married, divorced, re-married etc etc and I've never had any issues with that.

I adore my work [I'm an artist] and I put it before pretty much everything. That might sound selfish to some but on the flip side some people can be that way about getting married or having kids. I want to be like Chuck Jones who was drawing and painting till the day he died. I know I don't want anything long term and I don't want kids and am very happy with that.

CrazyChick18

Single at the moment and im happy out:D
But there is times when all my friends are like im off out tonight with the boyfriend or when were all out on a night out its like separted groups!!!

2 of us single out of our group now the rest are all taken only 21 though so its grand years left

daenerysstormborn3

No preference. I was happy when i was single and now i'm happy in my relationship.

I do hate when people refer to people who have always been in relationships as though there is something wrong with them and that they can't be on their own.

I broke up with someone and 4 months later i got together with my boyfriend and a comment was made that i couldn't be on my own that i always need a boyfriend which is not the case at all but as if i'm going to give up a chance at happiness just to prove i don't need a boyfriend!!

Mc Kenzie

I dont think this is something you can keep the same answer to all the way through. iv been single for a good while and i have been happy with a boyfreind..untill it goes pear shaped :rolleyes:...i do like being single you have no ties and you can enjoy being free. but i think it can be lonely at times,but you get over that:)..........theres lots of ups and downs for both.At the moment im single and at this stage of my life it is the best thing for me.:)

Halo Kitty

Guess i have the best of both worlds, my partner of 4 yrs lives in England while i decided to remain here in Ireland.....so we commute every two weeks to meet up and spend quality time with each other, because we want to, not because we have to. For the times i am not with my other half. I have a good relationship with myself...lol i enjoy times with my friends, family and times with myself....Can this long distance relationship work in the long term , i dont know, but for today i can say i am just blessed with what i have....

seenitall

sam34 wrote: »

I am happily single and intend to remain that way.

Oh, I have such a case of a "green-eyed monster" over this attitude! I know it's probably like admiring someone for the blueness of their eyes or similar, but I can't help myself wishing I were "wired" that way, too. It's like I tie it in with the strength of character on some level.

Hmmm. Maybe I'll get there one day.

ArtSmart

em, both?

Ickle Magoo

I can't really answer whether I prefer being single or in a relationship.

I can say that at the moment I prefer being in THIS relationship than being single; which is why I am still in it - but there have been plenty times where I preferred being single than either continuing or starting another relationship - but I don't have a life-long preference of relationship over singledom or visa versa.

jimbobaloobob

changes as life goes on, i guess i never really choose to be single or in a relationship it choose me at those times and i joined the roller coaster.

both have their ups and down, but i feel regardless of being single or not i remain true to me and means its not an issue either way.

Nightwish

Ive only been single 21 months out of the past 14 years and I hate it. I have to say there are fun parts. The complete and utter freedom to do what you want, the social life is much better, and my past relationship left me a broken person and damaged me quite a bit. All that aside, I really miss being in a relationship. I miss the company. I miss having that person caring about you, someone to ask you how your day went and genuinely mean it. The social scene in pubs and clubs can be fun but gets old very quickly.

jimbobaloobob

people seem to see being in a relationship as reducing their freedom.

I think to many people try to change to much to suit a situation rather than just BE

premierlass

Being single/mostly in a relationship can be great depending on the personality. I'm introverted and need a lot of space and time to myself so I'm quite happy to be single. On the other hand, I would be more than happy to be in a relationship if it was the right one. There are those who meet the right person early in life and are happy with that situation. Others are in relationships simply for the sake of being in a relationship, which I think is a waste.

dammitjanet

When I was with my first boyfriend I found myself missing being single after the short honeymoon faze wore off, I was still young and all my friends were single and out partying. It wasn't a healthy relationship and I couldn't wait to end it (granted, it was also helped by the fact that he got his kicks from hitting me among other things).
Funny thing is after I ended it I was single for all of 2 months before me and my now OH got together, he was my best friend who helped me though a really bad time and as a result we fell in love. Now, four and a half years on I couldn't imagine being single again.
As said before, it all comes down to the relationship.

IrishEyes19

Chinafoot wrote: »

I always find this a really weird question. Its almost as though relationships are all the same. I understand that there are some things that people perhaps find a little hard to cope with in every relationship, such as feeling tied to the person or wanting to be able to do as they please without having to think of someone else.

I prefer being with my boyfriend than I would being without him but thats because I love him, not because I prefer to be in a relationship over being single.

I think if you say you prefer being single to being in a relationship it just means you haven't found the right relationship.

Dont really agree with that last statement. Sometimes being single is just what you want for a while. When I wanted to be single, it was because I wanted to be single, go out, not have the pressures of a relationship, and just do my own thing. It wasn't because I hadnt found the right person, it was because I wanted to be single

Personally, I'm happy either way at the moment. Im not the type of girl who'll make my relationship my whole life at the moment either, I think friends are important, experiencing life is important and if I can balance that with a good relationship, all is fair and good. But I cant say being single has ever saddened me. If anything it gives you time to pay attention to areas of your life you might neglect when not single, and then of course if someone nice comes along, what a bonus that you grow to care for someone.

IrishEyes19

sam34 wrote: »

hah wibbs, u took the words out of my mouth. I hate the you-just-haven't-found-the-right-one line,as it's so condescending and assumes everyone wants the same from life. and spot on, it's the same as the wait-til-you-have-your-own-kids line.

some people can't seem to comprehend that some others do not want relationships and/or kids. some do, and that's fine, some don't,but apparently that's not so fine and they will be the subject of pity and even scorn for doing what they know to be rightforthem rather than blindly adhering to so called norms

rant over!

long term relationship/marriage? not for me, ta very much. for lots of reasons, I am happily single and intend to remain that way.

totally agree with this,

had a friend who we lost to a relationship :rolleyes: say one evening in front of me and two other single girls. "I dont get why my parents dont approve of my bf. Im in a committed relationship, its not like Im meeting new people when I go out like a slut."

I was gobsmacked. Her comprehension of being single was that every night was a night to go out searching for a guy.

I was amazed, lol. I usually go out for a few drinks with friends, hit a bar/pub and have a good catch-up. If you get talking to someone fair enough, if not, fair enough again.

Maple

I have a wonderful life, I've got lots of blessings in my life with the people I call my friends and family, my job challenges me and I've the time and money and freedom to do pretty much anything I decide to, within reason.

A partner would be the icing on the cake, if that never happens then it doesn't happen but I certainly don't feel like there is something missing from my life because of it.

And I would much rather be single than be in a relationship whereby I was unhappy just for the "security" of being in a relationship.

Of course I do get lonely and sometimes I feel the pang whereby I wonder if "it's ever going to happen for me" but it passes. And truth be told I could go out and get a boyfriend if I truly wanted, but I don't want just anyone so until it happens I'm perfectly happy as I am.

LovexxLife

I've never really had a proper relationship and kinda main always single, and like Im young like so I kinda come to the conclusion I should just enjoy being young and single and live life travel, college etc... But at times I do wish I wasn't alone but I get quickly over them moments. So I guess for the time being I prefer being Single! Cos I think you can do so much more by yourself

Novella

I've really only been single for fleeting periods of time since I was 14. Partly that was because I did hate to think of myself as being alone.

I guess in the last few months, it did become apparent to me that being in a relationship is only an asset when it's a good one. I'm absolutely the happiest I've ever been with my life right now and I'm recently single. Truth is, I feel like I've been held captive for the last year and now I'm free. It's strange I suppose, I just feel that when in a relationship I become less of myself.

mollybird

i think i like being in a relationship. i do love the idea of coming home to him at night and know he's there when things get bad. he's not only my OH but also my best friend. ive never lied to him and even though things aren't perfect between us we always come round in the end.

if things ever did finish with us i don't think id hate to be on my own either. i don't think im the kinda person that would mind being on their own. ive always been a fairly independant kinda person so would like to have my bit of freedom back.

Chinafoot

Wibbs wrote: »

I agree with you up to this point. I do see where you're coming from C, but I do think some objectively and on balance prefer to be single. Or it suits them better. I reckon it suits me all things being equal. I defo tend to prefer temporary arrangements. When I've been in love, I was very deeply in love, but even still preferred to have a lot of my own time. Sure the first couple of years are OK even great, but then it can become very routine and domestic for me and I don't do domestic so well. At all. My idea of hell is a house party for couples. And I'm one of them. Like I say that's just me. I realise many if not most like that long term security vibe, I just don't. Maybe because I'm an only child and have been alone more than not growing up so that's how I'm set up? I've pretty much always been the in between transitory boyfriend and that suited and suits me and my personality.

I dunno C when I hear the "you just haven't found the right relationship yet" it's not that unlike when I tell people I don't want kids or even particularly like kids outside of small doses they inevitably come back with "ah when they're your own you'll think differently". Nope I can tell you I'm pretty sure I wouldn't. I do realise that these aren't said for a reason and it's the case for the majority of normal people out there, but I'm abnormal.

krudler wrote: »

I like relationships but I dont need one like some people seem to think you do. being single isnt something to be pitied or ugh, cause to be set up. I can meet people myself just fine thanks very much. Theres great parts of both being with someone and being single, and crappy parts too.

sam34 wrote: »

hah wibbs, u took the words out of my mouth. I hate the you-just-haven't-found-the-right-one line,as it's so condescending and assumes everyone wants the same from life. and spot on, it's the same as the wait-til-you-have-your-own-kids line.

some people can't seem to comprehend that some others do not want relationships and/or kids. some do, and that's fine, some don't,but apparently that's not so fine and they will be the subject of pity and even scorn for doing what they know to be rightforthem rather than blindly adhering to so called norms

rant over!

long term relationship/marriage? not for me, ta very much. for lots of reasons, I am happily single and intend to remain that way.

Just to reply to these posts. I do not see what I said being anywhere near the baby argument, I don't think anyone needs a relationship nor do I assume everyone wants the same from life. Pity and scorn sam34? Really? :rolleyes:

Asking a question like "do you prefer being single or in a relationship" implies that every relationship is the same scenario and doesn't seem to take into account the person you are in the relationship with. Thats all I meant.

If someone wants to remain single forever then good for them. But to those of you saying you prefer to be single, have you gotten into romantic relationships? Are you open to getting into romantic relationships? Surely if you want to remain single the answer to the latter is no. If the answer is yes then I fully stand by my last line. If it hits a nerve due to your own misinterpretation then whatchagonnado?

miec

I think to many people try to change to much to suit a situation rather than just BE

I would agree with this. I know that when I was in relationships I changed myself to accommodate the other and being a people pleaser but it was a disaster.

I'm currently single and whilst I know that I would prefer to be in an equal and loving relationship I feel I need this alone time. The truth is I get **** scared at the idea of getting involved with someone. I'm a year out of a bad relationship and I'm only coming out of the hurt now.

I sometimes miss affection and sex as I don't like doing one night stands or even casual sex. I need to connect with someone before I have sex with them so I miss that sometimes.

One thing I do know and it is by far much better to be single than be in a lonely or abusive relationship, that is a nightmare situation.