Sick and tired of being sick and tired

southsiderosie

Maybe I am just grouchy, but I am tired of being outraged.

Or maybe it's not even that - I am tired of being expected to be outraged.

Yes I know that there are a lot of bad things in the world. And yes I know this is a message board, so the noise ratio is pretty high.

Maybe I am just getting immune to stupid, sexist ads, or maybe I don't see gender as being the social and economic barrier that, say, class is for many people, or maybe it's because as someone who lives in a modern, wealthy, liberal democracy I think I have it pretty good right now, but I often feel like I just don't think that modern European/American society is that horrible of a place, especially considering where we were even twenty years ago.

This isn't meant to be a pop at anyone or anything in particular - it's more a nagging feeling I've had for a while.

Am I the only one who feels this way? Or have I just drunk the kool-aid of our misogynistic, consumerist culture? :P

pickarooney

To be honest I'd say most people really care a lot less about everything than they let on on message boards. It's just far more interesting to take on any stance and stick to it, especially if someone is arguing the opposite, than to just admit that you really aren't all that bothered by X, Y or Z. I mean, look how much mileage is got out of a thread on steak or which side is the top of a biscuit.

krudler

do you mean gender issues or just life in general? I find myself getting more apathetic recently, very little shocks me anymore, be it another story about corruption or something the Joe Duffy crowd are going to be up in arms over. This planet is definitely getting dumber by the year though, look at the muck that gets massive ratings on tv for perfect example, people would rather watch Z list celebrities eat kangaroo bollocks for money instead of invest the time in something thats well written and actually challenges you to think for a bit. I'm not some snob who wont watch anything lighthearted, far from it, but theres lighthearted and then theres stuff like Geordie Shore which is blatant exploitation and just treats the audience as idiots.

gargleblaster

Gender issues only started resonating with me after I had daughters. Before that it was mostly poverty and inequality in general.

I have to say though, no progress was ever made from saying 'sure it's not so bad compared to (whatever else)'. Everyone is free to pick and choose what issues matter to them enough to care about or actively try to change, there's no rule saying you must though.

The thing is life is good for lots of people in modern western democratic societies and it is okay to think Ad's like the orange one are just crass and a bit silly and not be bothered by them you don't have to get hot and bothered by everything....a lot of the time people are apolitical about issues until it affects them in person.....

Kanoe

yeah, I have a pain in my box listening to it.

Eviledna

Yup, OP, I get weary too. It's hard to care all of the time. I'd agree too that boards and the internet inflate issues beyond what's real, but pop outside and you'll see the world still turning and kids still playing.

It's the big R that has made this worse, as a fall from grace for any nation would. But sometimes I think that if an asteroid slammed into the atlantic (or something else catastrophic) we'd know the real meaning of worry.

So in summation, this:

Logical Fallacy

southsiderosie wrote: »

Maybe I am just grouchy, but I am tired of being outraged.

Or maybe it's not even that - I am tired of being expected to be outraged.

Yes I know that there are a lot of bad things in the world. And yes I know this is a message board, so the noise ratio is pretty high.

Maybe I am just getting immune to stupid, sexist ads, or maybe I don't see gender as being the social and economic barrier that, say, class is for many people, or maybe it's because as someone who lives in a modern, wealthy, liberal democracy I think I have it pretty good right now, but I often feel like I just don't think that modern European/American society is that horrible of a place, especially considering where we were even twenty years ago.

This isn't meant to be a pop at anyone or anything in particular - it's more a nagging feeling I've had for a while.

Am I the only one who feels this way? Or have I just drunk the kool-aid of our misogynistic, consumerist culture? :P

Nah, it happens. Generally as the years go buy people tend to, not so much give less of a **** about things, but maybe pick their battles a little better.

Eve_Dublin

I suppose I'm aware that in the real world things are probably more dumbed down than before and people more apathetic (myself included), so I suppose I come on here and rant to make myself feel like I'm doing SOMETHING. Anything. Day to day outside of Boards, I'm worrying about real life stuff like bills and periods and relationships and housemates and not calling home enough. I enjoy the interaction with people on here while I plan my classes. It creates a bit of drama in my mundane existance. I'm not really as outraged as I come across. I am for a minute but it passes. I like to get into debate sometimes just for the sake of it and just to pass the time. At the moment I'm writing 40 end of year reports and trying to think up exciting and new ways to say the same thing...the world of Boards is much more interesting when there's a bit of drama and it lets me stop doing what I'm supposed to be doing

EverEvolving

I feel like that sometimes too OP and it seems like people will complain about anything in order to be heard/soapbox but then I think - if those people weren't out there complaining, then we wouldn't have things as good as we do.

Reminds me of this:

First they came for the communists,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a communist.

Then they came for the trade unionists,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a trade unionist.

Then they came for the Jews,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a Jew.

Then they came for me
and there was no one left to speak out for me.

So here here to all you complainers/activists/pushers of human rights. I may not think you are always right, but I'm oh so glad you do it.

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

southsiderosie

krudler wrote: »

do you mean gender issues or just life in general? I find myself getting more apathetic recently, very little shocks me anymore.

I guess in the OP I meant gender issues, but when I think about it, this could be anything really.

It seems like everything is important, and yet nothing is important. With the internet and cable news, it's like ACTION ACTION 24-7, but the reality is, there are very few stories that really require 24-hour coverage. And when stories about Britney Spears warrant the same airtime as stories about war or poverty or economic crisis, its no wonder we seem to shift into overdrive or just drop out completely.

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

I'm not really as outraged as I come across. I am for a minute but it passes. I like to get into debate sometimes just for the sake of it and just to pass the time. At the moment I'm writing 40 end of year reports and trying to think up exciting and new ways to say the same thing...the world of Boards is much more interesting when there's a bit of drama and it lets me stop doing what I'm supposed to be doing

pickarooney wrote: »

I mean, look how much mileage is got out of a thread on steak or which side is the top of a biscuit.

When you are grinding through Excel spreadsheets, there is nothing more important in the world than having an argument over the correct way to cook a steak! (hint: rare ).

Original Posted by Permabear
I've always been a live-and-let-live type of person. I do my own thing, don't let other people's perceptions and opinions shape my life, and don't get too worked up complaining about "society." Believe me, marketers know exactly what they are doing when they rely on feminist outrage to send something like the Club Orange commercial viral. Its detractors are only contributing to the "buzz." The best thing women can do is ignore it.

There is this episode of the Simpsons where the advertisements turn into giant monsters that start to destroy Springfield. Eventually they realize that if they don't pay attention to them - they make up a marketing jingle alled 'Just Don't Look' - they will die away. I feel like that applies to about 90% of life's problems, and we can save our energy for the remaining 10%...even if having a whinge on the internet can be rather satisfying sometimes.

Eve_Dublin

I'm a little surprised by your thread Southsiderosie...I'm surprised you feel that expectation on yourself to feel outraged?? Do you honestly feel that pressure? Why? Who expects it of you? I presume most people here post an opinion and move on to something in their real lives. You always seem like a poster who genuinely gives a damn about stuff but I'd never presume you were outraged morning, noon and night and wouldn't be disappointed to hear your not. I think it's easy to have these kinds of feelings for your own personal bugbears but also lead a stress-free, easy-going life. Do you have friends who bring up political discussions a lot because that can definitely get old fast. I have friends (who I love) who work in the public health sector in Ireland and the topic almost always comes up in discussion at some stage and it's tiring. I'm sitting there with my faux-concerned face praying to God we can change topic to something a bit more light-hearted asap. Of course I care about the Irish public healthcare system and there's many things that genuinely frustrate me...but do we have to talk about it everytime we're together?

You live in Madrid...maybe you're grouchy because of this weather were having....pheweee.

Edit: I think it's refreshing to come on here sometimes and see people have well thought out views on something that's not marriage or X Factor or getting drunk or whatever. It's my time out from dumb-downed conversation. I like it personally.

southsiderosie

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

I'm a little surprised by your thread Southsiderosie...I'm surprised you feel that expectation on yourself to feel outraged?? Do you honestly feel that pressure? Why? Who expects it of you? I presume most people here post an opinion and move on to something in their real lives. You always seem like a poster who genuinely gives a damn about stuff but I'd never presume you were outraged morning, noon and night and wouldn't be disappointed to hear your not. I think it's easy to have these kinds of feelings for your own personal bugbears but also lead a stress-free, easy-going life. Do you have friends who bring up political discussions a lot because that can definitely get old fast. I have friends (who I love) who work in the public health sector in Ireland and the topic almost always comes up in discussion at some stage and it's tiring. I'm sitting there with my faux-concerned face praying to God we can change topic to something a bit more light-hearted asap. Of course I care about the Irish public healthcare system and there's many things that genuinely frustrate me...but do we have to talk about it everytime we're together?

You live in Madrid...maybe you're grouchy because of this weather were having....pheweee.

Edit: I think it's refreshing to come on here sometimes and see people have well thought out views on something that's not marriage or X Factor or getting drunk or whatever. It's my time out from dumb-downed conversation. I like it personally.

Haha, my a/c is not working right and I live above a very noisy plaza, so between the heat in my apartment and the howling outside at 4am, maybe I am grouchier than usual!

I guess it's in part because I just went to a conference where there was a lot of bemoaning the state of the world without much analysis...And also because due to my past life in politics I am on a lot of mailing lists that highlight all of the wrongs of the 'capitalist, neo-fascist, warmongering' universe we live in...Maybe I am reading the Daily Mail or boards (not to equate the two!) too much lately, who knows. But given the static around me, it seems that as a foreign, non-white, thirty-something, single childless woman who could stand to lose a few pounds I am somehow supposed to feel oppressed, distressed and de-possessed...but I don't really.

pickarooney

southsiderosie wrote: »

And also because due to my past life in politics ... I am somehow supposed to feel oppressed, distressed and de-possessed...but I don't really.

Did you work with or for Jesse Jackson?

southsiderosie

pickarooney wrote: »

Did you work with or for Jesse Jackson?

LOL - no, thank goodness! But I'm from Jesse's neck of the woods, and occasionally used to see him at the local breakfast diner. I will save my rant about him for another day...

southsiderosie

Logical Fallacy wrote: »

Nah, it happens. Generally as the years go buy people tend to, not so much give less of a **** about things, but maybe pick their battles a little better.

EverEvolving wrote: »

I feel like that sometimes too OP and it seems like people will complain about anything in order to be heard/soapbox but then I think - if those people weren't out there complaining, then we wouldn't have things as good as we do.

Reminds me of this:

First they came for the communists,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a communist.

Then they came for the trade unionists,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a trade unionist.

Then they came for the Jews,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a Jew.

Then they came for me
and there was no one left to speak out for me.

So here here to all you complainers/activists/pushers of human rights. I may not think you are always right, but I'm oh so glad you do it.

OK, the tension between these two posts is I guess part of the issue. I'm all about picking battles. But if everything is a slippery slope leading us back to the kitchen where we are stuck barefoot making babies...or everything is RACIST...or everything we do hurts the environment, at what point do you just say, **** it?

I'm also living in a city where there is a protest pretty much every day. At first it was exciting, but now every time I see a kid with dreadlocks going on about veganism, it makes me want to eat a ham sandwich.

I guess the way things work out over time is interesting as well. My mom told me a few years ago that the biggest feminists in her office were some of the older men between the ages of 50-60: their views on gender in the workplace were being heavily influenced by hearing about their 20-30 year old daughters' experiences in the workplace. But a 30 year old male with no daughters (or sisters or wife) may not have that same perspective. So you speak to your and other posters points, I guess our priorities and perspectives shift depending on our personal circumstances.

cofy

I read the title to this tread and yes I feel sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. I haved just attened my brothers inquest (he took his own life) which raised more questions than answers. Sorry if I have made anyone down but I just needed to get ... I dont know what I need to get!!! Maybe it will come to me in the morning. Thank you for listening.

southsiderosie

cofy wrote: »

I read the title to this tread and yes I feel sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. I haved just attened my brothers inquest (he took his own life) which raised more questions than answers. Sorry if I have made anyone down but I just needed to get ... I dont know what I need to get!!! Maybe it will come to me in the morning. Thank you for listening.

Oh, cofy, I'm sorry to hear that. Situations like yours definitely put 'problems' in perspective.

metrovelvet

@SSR

My father used to call them "high class problems."

He'd come back from AA. '"Suppressed, oppressed, depressed, repressed, It never ends. Jesus Christ."

I never felt victimised by my gender until I entered the world of the privaleged north eastern liberal college. It hadnt even occurred to me that I was. And in some ways, I would have been better off not being force fed this victim politics.

Should have just listened to dad.

gargleblaster

metrovelvet wrote: »

I never felt victimised by my gender until I entered the world of the privaleged north eastern liberal college. It hadnt even occurred to me that I was. And in some ways, I would have been better off not being force fed this victim politics.

Should have just listened to dad.

Do you feel victimised now? What or who is stopping you from listening to dad?

Could this perhaps be just another kind of victim politics? A kind where people feel they are somehow expected to feel a certain way, or forced to be a victim of something?

metrovelvet

gargleblaster wrote: »

Do you feel victimised now? What or who is stopping you from listening to dad?

Could this perhaps be just another kind of victim politics? A kind where people feel they are somehow expected to feel a certain way, or forced to be a victim of something?

Dad's been pushing up daisies for thirteen years and I'm not one for seances so...

Well, the thing about victim politics is that the hurt and angry to deserve to have the crimes acknowldged...but then..what do you do with it?

PC never came to my house. Never bought the sales pitch.