Trivial issue

LegacyUser

Pretty trivial issue and just wanted to know what others think. There's a friend of mine and his brother is getting married soon. I don't know the brother that well but we do know each other and as a group we'd been out drinking quite a few times over the years.

I haven't been invited to the wedding or reception which is normal and I've no problem with that as I only know the guy getting married through his brother (my friend).

The thing is I wouldn't mind going along to the reception later on after the meal and everything is over to have a few drinks. It's been a while since I've been out and I'd like a night out and I think this could be good fun.

As I say I haven't been invited along to the ceremony or the reception but I was half thinking of suggesting to my friend that I might pop along later that night for a few drinks and seeing what he says. I'm 99.9% sure he'd say to come along but as the same time I feel like if I suggest it, he's going to feel obliged to say yes.

I went to my friends wedding a few years ago and I know some other people showed up to it after the meal was over and had some drinks, but again they were invited along by the fella getting married.

Should I suggest I pop along later that night or just keep my mouth shut? As I say I wouldn't mind going along but I don't want him to feel obliged to say yes. It's not a small family wedding or anything so I don't think I'd be gatecrashing anything if I did go.

What do you think?

Miss Fluff

I don't see the problem in asking your mate can you pop along much later in the evening. Say you're not expecting to be fed or watered and that you'd just like to pop in later in the evening for the craic, I'm sure he or his brother will have no problem with that.

Daisy M

Suss your friend out and see if there are people invited to the afters. Will you know many people well at the wedding other than your friend, the thing is he maybe taken up catching up with family and friends he has hasnt seen in a while and you may end up not having a good night.

LegacyUser

I wouldn't do it. If your friend's brother wanted you there, he would have given you an evening invitation, simple as. A wedding is a celebration at the end of the day, and if it was my wedding I'd feel a bit weird seeing people I 'didn't know that well' there.

I also wouldn't like to be seen as some sort of needy person either, asking your friend can you go.... there are plenty of other opportunities for nights out, not someone's wedding. It just might be a bit embarassing or awkward.

ElleEm

goingur wrote: »

Pretty trivial issue and just wanted to know what others think. There's a friend of mine and his brother is getting married soon. I don't know the brother that well but we do know each other and as a group we'd been out drinking quite a few times over the years.

I haven't been invited to the wedding or reception which is normal and I've no problem with that as I only know the guy getting married through his brother (my friend).

The thing is I wouldn't mind going along to the reception later on after the meal and everything is over to have a few drinks. It's been a while since I've been out and I'd like a night out and I think this could be good fun.

As I say I haven't been invited along to the ceremony or the reception but I was half thinking of suggesting to my friend that I might pop along later that night for a few drinks and seeing what he says. I'm 99.9% sure he'd say to come along but as the same time I feel like if I suggest it, he's going to feel obliged to say yes.

I went to my friends wedding a few years ago and I know some other people showed up to it after the meal was over and had some drinks, but again they were invited along by the fella getting married.

Should I suggest I pop along later that night or just keep my mouth shut? As I say I wouldn't mind going along but I don't want him to feel obliged to say yes. It's not a small family wedding or anything so I don't think I'd be gatecrashing anything if I did go.

What do you think?

You shouldn't just want to go to a wedding cos you fancy a night out.

A wedding is a celebration of love for the couple involved- you already said you barely know the brother.

If it's the type of wedding where loads are invited for drinks after the dinner, then your friend may ask you. You shouldn't put him in an awkward position by asking him can you go. You weren't invited!

ManOfMystery

As above ....................... you can't treat a wedding like an average night out at the pub where you just 'pop in' for the craic. Be it the entire wedding, or even just the evening reception .... it doesn't really matter.

Weddings = invite only.

ongarboy

I know many people invite acquaintances or even (out of obligation) people they don't even like to their weddings but the point is they (the couple) still invited those guests (full wedding or afters). Turning up uninvited is just cheeky and while the couple may not mind, it may still be viewed as a bit odd and make you come across as a bit needy.

Like someone else said, surely there are other opportunities for you for a night out than gatecrashing a wedding. Why put your friend in such an awkward position also? If they wanted you to come, they would have already asked you to come along. Plan a night out the same night with other friends and forget about this wedding.

tinkerbell

You can't just decide to invite yourself to the afters - that's really rude. It's someone's wedding, not some random house party. If you are invited well fine, but don't invite yourself along.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies. I've decided to leave things be so I won't be going.