Not sure where im going

LegacyUser

Have posted here before regularly so decided to go unregistered for this.

I went through a major break up last year where my ex ended our relationship after we had been going out for 7 years, took me a long time to get over the end of the relationship but i eventually began to move on and felt very happy and secure in myself the last few months but in the last week or so my humour has taken a major downturn.

Is ths normal? For people to have a relapse after the end of such a relationship? I have not contacted her but have found myself thinking about her a lot, found out through mutual friends she has moved on to see someone new and i think this shocked me. I loved her with everything I have but in reality all i want for her is to be happy and i would never be silly enough to myself to contact her now she is seeing someone new.

Basically she broke my heart and now i find myself a little jealous she has moved on, understandable? I find myself wondering will i ever find anyone to love again, I know it has only been 8 months after 7 years but in some ways i am worried that I will never be able to love someone again like i did my ex. Relationship ended because she felt that although she loved me I had become more of a best friend and that the abselute spark for her wasnt there. Female friends at work constantly tell me someone like me wont be single for long and enquire as to whether im seeing someone, i just smile usually and say no not yet.

However lately I have found myself drifting into a situation where i am drinking more than i usually would and i find myself telling stupid lies to people. Last week a coleague asked me had I been on any dates and without thinking I said I had been seeing someone for a few weeks but it has come to nothing. Felt wracked with guilt as it was a blatant lie and dont even know why id say that.

I know im a good person but I feel my like is drifting to a place where I dont want it to go, all my friends are married or engaged and the only time i meet them is in a pub situation really which I dont enjoy much but at the same time i dont want to be sitting at home alone. when i do drink whether it is stress or what I find myself getting drunk quickly.

My friends dont realise the way im feeling, i think they all believe I have dealt with the breakup really well. I felt I had too but now i feel so miserable again. Maybe some of it is that Im a teacher and i am so used to spending the holidays with my ex that i am now at a loss as to what i will do with the next two months and it has brought all my worries to the surface.

Sorry for long post, any advice appreciated

LegacyUser

Hi OP, sorry to hear your feeling so down. Your right to give yourself time to grieve over loosing someone you were happy with. It makes sense that hearing she has moved on is not helping you. I think alot of people sometimes feel they will never love someone again, but you will when your ready to. Maybe it might help to speak to someone about how your feeling.
I can understand the temptation to tell your friend your fine and dating when they keep asking and in a way unintentionally pushing you to move on before your ready. Maybe you could let them know youd rather they didnt ask about your love life, say your happy to be single for now and leave it at that.

I know its alot easier said than done but try not to dwell on your ex's new relationship, or compare how you are feeling to how she is feeling since the break up. Im sorry I cant offer any more advice on the subject. Best of luck.