Need help with my future! Feeling really down over it.

sadman18

I am a 19 year old male and have just my leving cert. Which I really messed up. I filled my CAO form in January with courses that I tought that I was intrested in but I am not really. I have no idea what to do with my life and repeating the leaving is somehing that I don't want to do. I spent 14 years in school and I was bullied for most of them and 6th year was one if the worst years of them all and I did hardly any study and I prob did a very bad leaving cert. I am starring at the computer thinking of the change of mond form now and I am just so sad and lonely. I have no friends and I am almost in tears! Advice Please??

Overheal

If you think you picked a good college you do have the option to transfer yourself into a different program in the early part of your first year. So relax. Contact some of your top picks and ask about the types of programs you (will) be able to transfer into if necessary.

tenchi-fan

I had okay friends in secondary but once I finished my last exam I never saw them again except by chance years later. I made new friends in college.

The worst thing for me about college was going to the regional college. It was an extension of secondary school. Really not a great experience - I stuck with the course for fear of failure rather than enjoying it.

Have you considered doing a PLC course? Just a one-year, handy course in an area that vaguely interests you? If you like it, go on to do a degree in a similar area. If you don't, try something else? I think it's crazy people at 17 or 18 years of age, after 5 years of rote learning for the leaving cert, are expected to have the maturity or interest in completing a 4 year degree straight after the leaving.

ambid

Leaving school is a whole new chapter in your life. Whether you go to university or college or work or travel, you will find most people are now much more mature. The childishness of school just seems to stop almost immediately and this chapter will be much better.

You have options. You're only young and have so much time. Have you seen a guidance counselor? I took a year out around that time to work, get some new experiences, and build up some savings and it was on of the best things I ever did.

At 19 you don't have to figure out your whole future. Don't believe there is only one path which you much find, don't put that pressure on yourself. I messed up my leaving cert too and now have a fascinating and challenging management job in a sector I love. The Leaving Cert is just a step, whether you do well or mess it up there are plenty more steps to where you're going to ultimately go.

Take some time, figure out what interests you, and explore one or two options. If they don't work, just explore another.

The great news is this is a whole new phase of your life when the childishness and bullying of school is over forever. You really don't need to put all this pressure on yourself.

Raspberries

One thing I would say OP is don't do a course because you think you should do it, do something that you are interested in. I did a course that I thought I should do, and regretted it. It made me very unhappy. Now I am doing what I should have done originally and I am loving it because it is something I am interested in! It doesn't have to be a college course, it could be take a year out to travel or volunteer, a PLC, work for a bit! (You should keep College in mind as an option though, in terms of future career prospects).

My advice would be to contact your guidance counsellor to talk about your options. Before you meet them, think about things you would like to do, even just generally and see if you can change your CAO.

Bear in mind though, the Leaving Cert. can be a deceptive! Many people think they fail it completely and do really well. You can't let your perception of how you did in your exams influence your choice, as you may have done much better than you thought!

goodomens

sadman18 wrote: »

I am a 19 year old male and have just my leving cert. Which I really messed up. I filled my CAO form in January with courses that I tought that I was intrested in but I am not really. I have no idea what to do with my life and repeating the leaving is somehing that I don't want to do. I spent 14 years in school and I was bullied for most of them and 6th year was one if the worst years of them all and I did hardly any study and I prob did a very bad leaving cert. I am starring at the computer thinking of the change of mond form now and I am just so sad and lonely. I have no friends and I am almost in tears! Advice Please??

If you find it difficult to make friends, you are most likely holding false beliefs about yourself. Your beliefs dictate your behaviour, and therefore your life. If you don't believe you are good enough to have friendships, then when you meet people who could be your friend, you will pull away in discomfort, because your belief - that you are not good enough, is holding you back.

As children we often inherit false beliefs from parents at a level we're not aware of, and since children take in everything, these false beliefs stick there for life until you change them.

Read the bible, and as you do, the underlying messages (that you are worthy of love, happiness and a great life) will sink in and eventually your beliefs will automatically change, and then your behaviour will change, and tada - your life will change. You'll start to be comfortable around people, because you will love yourself so much, you will be comfortable in yourself.

I suggest starting with the book of psalms, then move into the gospels etc. Apply Jesus' teachings to the apostles to you, and your life and you'll soon see what God has been telling you the whole time. That you are a wonderful human being, a work of art, who is worthy of love, security, and happiness.

LegacyUser

Hi there, Just wanted to say that its not the end of the world at your age not knowing what you want to do at such a young age. It happens to a lot of people in different aspects of their lives all of the time. The thing is to put it into perspective. You probably feel that you need to do what is expected of most young people and head straight to college. I have a daughter at home today who has just informed us after 2 years in college that she hates her course and doesn't want to go back. She is doing a course that was very high points but she finds it difficult and uninteresting. The problem is that she hasn't a clue what else to do either. She is at a crossroads like you OP.

Many people don't go straight to college but wait until their late twenties and thirties when they have more life experience. If yuo could just find something to keep you going for the next 6 months or so until you decide what to do, I believe you will find your own way. Best of luck to you, I heard onetime that you should believe that in Gods plan you are exactly where you are meant to be right now. Don't know if I believe it sometimes but its something to think about :-)

sadman18

I have it limited down to two different types of courses now. I have applied for them in a few different IT'S and I applied for a plc course back in May. All I can do now is hope for the best and hopefully get the points.