bullying

Messiahrevised

I am sorry if I might re-open a topic that has been discussed before (i hardly ever posted here so I apologise in advance).
My situation is like this: I'm the dad of a boisterous five year old and we usually get very positive reactions from his friend's parents, he is a really good boy.
Over the past weeks he got rather quiet though and my wife and I started wondering because he didn't really want to talk about his problems. I guess that can be normal but it's still a bit worrying. We told him we'd be there if he wanted to talk but he didn't. One evening my wife told me she had witnessed other boys a bit older than him having cornered him in the street, when she intervened they jeered at him she said. This bothers me, naturally, because first of all I hadn't been around or else those guys hadn't had the guts to shout abuse, secondly because he doesn't seem to be willing to talk about his problems.
My wife is German so he does have a slight German accent which might be the cause and he seems to be behind other boys when it comes to voice development. We didn't pamper him, but now I am just worried, I don't want him to be unhappy and insecure but I am unsure to approach the bullies myself or to remain quiet. I don't know their families because they seem to be from the large apartment block complex around the corner. Any ideas anyone?

silverharp

I'm guessing as a 5 year old he is not normally out by himself so I I'd have thought you could just explain it away as the other kids being silly etc.. , I'd be very surprised if a one off incident would upset a 5 year old for long. Is he likely to bump into these kids again?

gym_mom

Bullying is a worrying thing and is all over the place. I can't say that my kids have ever been really bullied as such but they have certainly been made to feel "sad" by something that was said or by some jeering by other kids. I tell them that bullies are doing what they do because they are jealous of the person. They might not have a happy home life etc and haven't been taught how to behave properly. This seems to be a good answer as they believe that they themselves have nothing to be worried about and that the bully is the one with the problem.

I also take the stance of not interfering in minor incidents. If it becomes serious then of course I would but just this minor name calling etc I think the child should be either kept away from potentially dangerous situations or taught how to deal with them him/herself as much as possible. This was something my own mother practiced and it seemed to work for us. I regularly ask my kids about bullying situations (in a round about way... you know "is there anyone in your class that's mean to you" etc..) Then we discuss what may have happened and make the child feel that it's all the bully's fault.

Tough one to handle and I think every child will come across it so every parent should have decisions made from the get-go on how to handle it for their child.