Door to door Jehovas

Daegerty

Has anyone here tried any funny stuff on them? Nothing too serious now.

I found out I'm after missing two fine beours of Jehovas that called here. Real shaem I wasn't here cause I would have invited them in, made them tea and invited them up to the bedroom for an ould roide. So I'll have to wait till the next time they arrive

Anyway a week ago I met two of them in the very north of Shetland, these weren't fine beours now. Anyway they were going at me about how the world is going to end and all this ould nonsense until they said they had a conference in Navan. So I asked them if they knew a particular plumber who I knew was also a Jehova, and they did. So I spent the rest of the time complaining to them about how useless this particular plumber was and all the bad things he done so they wouldn't get a chance to go on about the end of the world.

Twas pissing rain too so I couldn't really get up and leave but I was glad when someone else came in who they started having a go at instead so I could go away and hide in some corner of the building

Another time long ago now they came to my great grandmothers house and someone didn't know they were Jehovas and made them coffee, when she found out she shouted something like "I NEVER MAKE COFFEE FOR THEM LOT!" so they could hear

admiralofthefleet

they are nearly as bad a catholic priests, trying to shove shit down your throat, pardon the pun

ball

Open the door naked and act casual

Delancey

A well-trained Rottweiler can work ' miracles ' .

freeze4real

Daegerty wrote: »

Has anyone here tried any funny stuff on them? Nothing too serious now.

I found out I'm after missing two fine beours of Jehovas that called here. Real shaem I wasn't here cause I would have invited them in, made them tea and invited them up to the bedroom for an ould roide. So I'll have to wait till the next time they arrive

Anyway a week ago I met two of them in the very north of Shetland, these weren't fine beours now. Anyway they were going at me about how the world is going to end and all this ould nonsense until they said they had a conference in Navan. So I asked them if they knew a particular plumber who I knew was also a Jehova, and they did. So I spent the rest of the time complaining to them about how useless this particular plumber was and all the bad things he done so they wouldn't get a chance to go on about the end of the world.

Twas pissing rain too so I couldn't really get up and leave but I was glad when someone else came in who they started having a go at instead so I could go away and hide in some corner of the building

Another time long ago now they came to my great grandmothers house and someone didn't know they were Jehovas and made them coffee, when she found out she shouted something like "I NEVER MAKE COFFEE FOR THEM LOT!" so they could hear

Hahahahaha.......You're a prick.

This is not the religion forum it's after hours..

mod: poster banned.

mike65

This thread desperately need some Monty Python

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SYkbqzWVHZI

krudler

Ask them in for coffee and to discuss the Lord, they'd never be prepared for that

johnny_ultimate

As long as there are lonely, gullible people to trick convert, the door-to-door Jehovah's Witnesses will remain a mainstay of society.

demanufactured

Beours????
Where are you from???
Ballymahon???

Daegerty

demanufactured wrote: »

Beours????
Where are you from???
Ballymahon???

The place with the two fields

Daegerty

krudler wrote: »

Ask them in for coffee and to discuss the Lord, they'd never be prepared for that

and when they'd be in I would say the Lord I'm on about is the one inside my pants

TouchingVirus

demanufactured wrote: »

Beours????
Where are you from???
Ballymahon???

It's used out your way too :P

Morag

Tell them you are a blood doner and they won't bother you again.

Daegerty

TouchingVirus wrote: »

It's used out your way too :P

Tis spreading like a TouchingVirus

Mickeroo

I swear the exact same thread happened a couple of weeks ago, someone posted the same monty python clip and everything. IT'S THE FARKING RAPTURE PEOPLE!!

Daegerty

Mickeroo wrote: »

I swear the exact same thread happened a couple of weeks ago, someone posted the same monty python clip and everything. IT'S THE FARKING RAPTURE PEOPLE!!

If that song is re-released it will definitely kill off a lot of people

I can hear it already. iLullullullullOoooHooe! iLullullullullOoooHooe!

Mickeroo

Daegerty wrote: »

If that song is re-released it will definitely kill off a lot of people

I can hear it already. iLullullullullOoooHooe! iLullullullullOoooHooe!

Are you talking about Voodoo People by THe Prodigy or a song by The Rapture?

Daegerty

Mickeroo wrote: »

Are you talking about Voodoo People by THe Prodigy or a song by The Rapture?

the iiO - Rapture

Greentopia

I never get god botherer's at my door
Would love to invite some in and discuss their beliefs. Right after they agree that if we do that they have to sit in my kitchen while we have a nice long chat about the God Delusion or God is Not Great.

I did get some nice Mormon boys call to my door when I lived in Sweden though.
That didn't go too well for them.
They didn't seem so keen on continuing discussing the teachings of Joseph Smith after I introduced them to Mr. Dawkins and Mr. Hitchens. They also seemed put out that I, a heathen atheist, had a better grasp of the bibble than they did.

Am I doin it rong??
:pac:

colinod0806

Greentopia wrote: »

I never get god botherer's at my door
Would love to invite some in and discuss their beliefs. Right after they agree that if we do that they have to sit in my kitchen while we have a nice long chat about the God Delusion or God is Not Great.

I did get some nice Mormon boys call to my door when I lived in Sweden though.
That didn't go too well for them.
They didn't seem so keen on continuing discussing the teachings of Joseph Smith after I introduced them to Mr. Dawkins and Mr. Hitchens. They also seemed put out that I, a heathen atheist, had a better grasp of the bibble than they did.

Am I doin it rong??
:pac:

What, spelling wrong? Yes, yes you are;):pac:

Greentopia

colinod0806 wrote: »

What, spelling wrong? Yes, yes you are;):pac:

It were LOL cat speak. Sigh, should realise I'm on Boards not Ravelry maybe...
I do know how to spell the word 'wrong' edit-and bible!
no really, I do.

Redlion

Just have a bundle of Islamic/Christian pamphlets ready for the next time they knock and attempt to convert them. See how they like it!

Kojak

Daegerty wrote: »

Has anyone here tried any funny stuff on them? Nothing too serious now.

I found out I'm after missing two fine beours of Jehovas that called here. Real shaem I wasn't here cause I would have invited them in, made them tea and invited them up to the bedroom for an ould roide.

The only jehovah's I have seen are all middle-age males with beards. You're not on about them, are you??

Daegerty

Kojak wrote: »

The only jehovah's I have seen are all middle-age males with beards. You're not on about them, are you??

No

Foxhound38

Was it like this?

ChaseThisLight

I used to get them stopping by almost weekly, even after telling them every time that I wasn't interested. Then my daughter wanted a Supernatural themed birthday party, so to go with the theme I drew a devil's trap on the front porch outside the door, in chalk. Left it there after the party, and a few days later two Jehovah's Witnesses show up, ladies in their 60's...one of them glances down, notices she's standing in what looks like a pentagram - and she sidesteps out of it very slowly, looking kind of scared, and she keeps glancing at it, then at me, then at it. The other one refuses to acknowledge it and kept going on, until I finally got her to shut up and listen to me say I wasn't interested.

I'm so glad I didn't wash it away right away, because they haven't been back since; I can only assume they went back to their church and told everyone I'm a devil worshiper and to avoid my house. If it keeps them away, I'm okay with this.

guitarzero

I remember getting stopped by 2 along the path. I told them if god needed them to tell me he is god then god has a need, if god has a need he not a god. They actually just stood there, one trying to say something like a knee jerk reaction but just stopped.