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Your advice please

  • 23-06-2011 8:45pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I met a guy out last weekend, really nice guy however towards the end of the night he told me that he has a young child with his ex. He's asked me out on a date which I have not yet decided about what to do. I like him, he seems really good guy, funny etc but even when he told me that night he had a child it almost changed my attitude towards him - I don't mean to sound terrible but that's just the way I felt and possibly still do. I hope I don;t offend anyone by this post - I'm not trying to be mean by saying that but I've never been with a guy before who has children and I'm not sure I really want to get into that either. We're both in our late 20s. I'm only out of a long term relationship so I'm not looking for a relationship at the minute which I told him, nor is he which he told me so that's why in one way I'm thinking go for it and see how you get on but on the other hand I'm thinking no way stay away.

    Please help - should I go on this date or just leave it? Also how have your experiences been of going out with someone who has children?


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I'd be more concerned about the fact that he told you he's not looking for a relationship.

    Are you sure he's not still happy with/living with the mother of his child and looking for a bit of fun on the side?

    I would never go anywhere near a man that has a child again after my terrible experience. You need to be very confident in yourself and your relationship to be able to handle the constant communication/involvement of the ex.

    If you're only looking for something casual, find someone who can provide that. A man with an ex (who will have to still be in his life in some way) and a child cannot provide casual.

    Good luck.


  • #3
    squonk
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,986 ✭✭✭squonk


    OP I have no experiences of going out with someone with kids but from your post it sounds like someone with kids isn't what you want right now. Teh fact that your attitude towards the guy changed once you knew he had a kid and the fact that you're on here looking for advice leads me to think that you're just better off leaving this as it's not what you seem to want to no point in trying to convince yourself something is worth it when you have a reasonably clear idea it is not.


  • #4
    Faith
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,661 Mod ✭✭✭✭Faith


    Don't feel bad, OP. I'd run a mile if a guy told me he had kids. I don't like children, they don't feature in my plans for the future and frankly I'm not interested in competing with them for attention. Many people, men and women, would not be interested in a partner who already has a child. It's unfair on the parent, but that's the way it is.

    Personally, I'd leave it.


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