Upset and Confused

LegacyUser

Hey just background...
my boyfriend is my best friend and I am his. Hes gorgoeous and so funny. Hes sweet & always honest with me.

BUT in the last few months when we drink we FIGHT. the fights have got progressively worse, we're both as bad as each other, screaming, shouting, saying the most awful horrible things to each other and then feeling absolutely devastated the next day. Finally we've decided to STOP drinking as its the drink that causes all conflict, when sober we never so much as argue.

However, normally when we make up im soooo happy and relieved. im more in love than ever...this time i think maybe was one fight too many...im unsure about the relationship in one way but at the same time i know i love him so sooo much and dont think i can break up with him if the fights remain stopped...but is something missing now? have we said one too many awful thing?

also im really needy atm whereas hes being normal, less attentive even than normally when we make up...im confused..

I am a friend

What are the fights about? If its the same thing all the time, there is an underlying issue which needs to be addressed.

The first stop as you know is to stop drinking.

nicechick!

Upset and Confused.. wrote: »

Hey just background...
my boyfriend is my best friend and I am his. Hes gorgoeous and so funny. Hes sweet & always honest with me.

BUT in the last few months when we drink we FIGHT. the fights have got progressively worse, we're both as bad as each other, screaming, shouting, saying the most awful horrible things to each other and then feeling absolutely devastated the next day. Finally we've decided to STOP drinking as its the drink that causes all conflict, when sober we never so much as argue.

However, normally when we make up im soooo happy and relieved. im more in love than ever...this time i think maybe was one fight too many...im unsure about the relationship in one way but at the same time i know i love him so sooo much and dont think i can break up with him if the fights remain stopped...but is something missing now? have we said one too many awful thing?

also im really needy atm whereas hes being normal, less attentive even than normally when we make up...im confused..

I think you miss the drama, its not one fight to many seeing as you've argued so much in the past your likely to be missing the sense of relief and emotion attached to the intensity of the argument and the making up part!! From experience I think for many people they think something is wrong as there not faced with stress, concern & then think something is missing in there life's and go look for this so called ''drama'' which of course is not the solution!

Ask yourself? Why did you argue so much, are you happy in this relationship while drinking obviously brought out the negative (don't go back!), so your really ''needy'' this suggest to me that: remember I don't want to cause offence and this is just my opinion

That your likely to put the onus on him to make you happy rather then do it yourself

That you have issues with your own self esteem & confidence your self worth is so low you need someone to constantly reassure you

Have little or no motivation to look for any self interest that may make you happier out of the relationship however committed you are thus putting the onus on them to share the same interests with you, have the same friends, overwhelm them with your constant need for reassurance & put pressure on them to constantly if not always ''hold your hand'' so to speak this likely will apply on a different level in your career