True or false?

LegacyUser

Hi everyone.

I need some help. I've been in a relationship for 2.5 years. About a year into our relationship, my boyfriend admitted that he had naked pictures of his ex on a memory stick but that he had never looked at them. I got quiet upset, however it got worse the next day when he went back over his story and confessed that he had looked at them rougly 3 months earlier. He said that this was because he was both curious and confused and that he felt nothing when he looked at them. After hearing this, I was unsure about our relationship and we struggled quite badly. I decided to stay with him although we would argue about this topic regularly. After some time, he changed his story again telling me that he got confused as the conversation was very late at night and that he was in such a panic. He claimed that he was trying to be brutally honest with me. This time, he claimed that ha never looked at the pictures and was not even 100% sure if he actually had them.

Although this was almost 2 years ago, things have never completely healed. I still have trouble trusting him. He wonders why I can't seem to move on. I thoroughly believe that the reason i cannot move on is because I do not believe that he never looked at these alleged pictures. His initial story seemed so precise. I want this to be over with, but for that to happen, i desperately need him to be honest with me. The trouble is, that i cannot tell if he is telling the truth or not.. am i being taken for a walk in the park here? Is it possible that he never actually looked at these pictures? Help????

LegacyUser

I'm struggling a bit here tbh. He hasn't met up with the ex, had an affair with her...
I defy any man to NOT look at photos of a naked woman- any naked woman! It doesn't mean that that woman is the love of their life, it doesn't mean they're obsessed with that woman- it's just a testosterone thing
However, in saying that- I feel out of respect for you& your relationship, he should bin/destroy the memory stick. If he's claiming to never look at it, there's no reason why he should still have it in his possession. If he's already gotten rid of it, well then, job done.

squonk

OP, cut the guy some slack. He looked at the pics 9 months into your 2.5 year relationship. Ok, maybe that was a dumb thing to do but maybe it was out of curiosity or to reassure himself that he was secure in your relationship. Whatever the reason it sounds like nothing much came of it. To your knowledge he's not cheating, he's not doing things that hurt you like flirting with other women while out so I would suggest you forgive and forget this minor indiscretion. I can see why you'd have been annoyed around the time it happened, but for it to lead to mistrust seems a bit OTT IMHO. He probably changed the story because he saw you were freaking out a bit over this and wanted to minimise the pain it caused you. Obviously it's causing you more now.

Bottom line here as I see it is that he's been with you 2.5 years and isn't playing the field and is happy with you. You are still obsessing over something that happened 21 months ago, that's almost 2 years! Has he not earned some trust back by now? She is his ex for a reason! You are his gf which he seems happy about. IMHO his biggest mistake was admitting something so innocuous to you in the first place seeing as how you've reacted.

John Mason

why does it matter to you so much whether or not he looked at the photos?

TBH it doesnt sound like a very healthy that you are so obsessed still after 2 years.

Are you sure the real issue is the photos?