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I don't know what to do.

  • 16-06-2011 8:34am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I'm 35 and I met my partner in 2004, and we started seeing each other pretty much straight away...
    She had a 3yo daughter at the time, who 4 years ago asked can she call me 'Daddy' - I love her so much - as much and more than if she was mine - Her father never wanted to know herand has left the country.
    I had a son previous to meeting GF, who lives with his mother, and we had another son in 2006.
    Renting a lovely house with my ideal picture of what life should be. Until Yesterday.
    Partner finished with me, saying that she couldnt take all the hardship that I brought - partly because of my son's Mother (who has had treatment for alcoholism) causing rows over little things, as well as me always bottling things up and not talking about anything...
    Granted, we've had our problems,
    • Sex life isn't spectacular.
    • I used to look at a lot of internet porn, ignoring partner(Not in 5years though)
    • She text flirted with a supposed friend of mine for a couple of months (nothing more)
    • Both lost jobs

    I love her dearly, and want to spend the rest of my life with her, but she won't entertain a discussion even. She said she does love me, but she's not in love with me, and she wants what's best for her and the kids.
    I'm devastated, absolutely in pieces - cant eat, cant sleep, cant stop crying. I just don't know what to do. I need help, and i don't know who to turn to. All my friends are mutual friends and i dont want to put them in an unfair position.
    I'm staying with my brother for now, and he's been great, but i can't talk to him about everything.


Comments

  • #2
    squonk
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,990 ✭✭✭squonk


    OP, I'm sorry to hear that. Were there signs from your OH of this coming? It can't have hit you out of the blue? There are more qualified people than I on here to talk through this but I would say that all of this came to a head yesterday. Feelings are still raw and it'll be hard to have any kind of meaningful discussion just now. Perhaps let the dust settle a bit and both of you will start to see the wood from the trees. That might be a time to start a dialogue. Once you are talking you might need to assure your OH on some things regarding your ex. I don't know the issues but she obviously has a few things that she can't handle anymore. Untimately I'd hope you can get to the stage where you can get couples counselling. I think that might help. Best of luck.


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