Am I right to be upset that Sonographer didn't show me baby during scan!!

Betsy18

Hi

I had a scan done at 22 weeks and got a lovely pic of babs but because i am obese they couldnt get the exact spine measurements so i had to return 6 weeks later. During this scan i had a different sonographer in the radiology dept of my hospital, she poked at my bump for over 20 minutes without speaking to me!! i started to panic that something was wrong and asked her after 20 minutes if everything was ok, she said it was but she couldnt get a clear enough picture of the baby. she kept poking at every side of my bump and really dug the probe into my tummy which was really painful and very uncomfortable. after 40 minutes she said she wasnt happy with the measurements and was getting the doc in to look at it. the doctor came in and was able to get the measurements needed, she explained to me that the baby is normal size and everything looked good but because of my weight they couldnt get the details of the spine that they wanted but that she had no cause to worry. she left and i then asked if my hubby could come in thinking she would show us the baby on the screen and give us a picture, she looked at me as if i had 2 heads and said no that i was finished up now!! i asked her what she meant and she said i was only there for measurements and thats all she was doing and that i received a photo at my first scan and was all i got!!She did not even show me my baby on the screen throughout the whole scan!! i left the room to find my hubby in a panic outside and to make matters worse i burst out crying he didnt know what to think!! i was so upset with the way i had been treated, and my hubby was so disappointed that he wasnt allowed in!:(

I am going to see my consultant in 2 weeks and demand to be seen in the other ultrasound unit which is looked after by the midwives and tell him of my experience! dont get me wrong we are so delighted that everything is ok with our baby but i am very upset with the way i was treated!

I'm just wondering has anyone else experienced this, was i being cheeky asking for my hubby to be brought in? should i have got a picture of my baby?

January

Some people have no bedside manner... Although you did have your big scan already, any subsequent scan that I had after that I didn't get a picture and wasn't shown the baby as they were being done for medical reasons... If you want to see your baby you should book a private scan.

Lola92

I had 2 scans on mine, 22 weeks and again at about 33 weeks because my daughter looked small for dates.

My partner was present for both scans sitting beside me. First scan the sonographer was not very forthcoming, didn't really welcome questions etc and just taking measurements. She did show us baby for about a minute at the end though and printed off some pictures.

The second scan was such a differant experience. We had a lovely sonographer who made us feel like she had all the time in the world for us, never felt rushed, completely reassured me about any queries or concerns. She took extra effort to avoid accidently finding out the sex (we did not want to know) and to get us some lovely photos, which she did not have to do.

It really is unfortunate but it was very much the luck of the draw. I wish I could say otherwise but as January said, some hospital staffs people skills leave a lot to be desired.



Just edited to add that I also had a high BMI and a bit of prodding was required so I think that may just be par for the course with larger women. Baby being in an awkward position certainly doesn't help.

Hannibal Smith

First of all, she sounds like a right charmer doesn't she? She could have been a bit nicer by the sounds of things.

Second of all, I found on my first pregnancy that the 20 week scan you get the royal treatment as in it's all about you seeing your baby (as well as them getting the measurements and readings of course) but any scan you get after that, they're not so attentive.

As far as I remember, I think I had a scan at 30 weeks and another one around 36 weeks (high BP and pre-eclampsia) and at those scans, although the girl was perfectly polite and friendly with me, I didn't get any pictures, or any extra time to look at junior.

Cottontail

aw betsy18, that sounds like you had a horrible experience! My issue would be more with the attitude of the sonographer rather than not seeing the baby, she sounded very rude. Would you lodge a complaint with the hospital?
As someone else mentioned, you could get a private scan if you would like to see the baby again, those 3D ones are meant to be really good!
At least you know the baby is healthy and normal measurements, so focus on that and hopefully it will help

Moonbeam

It is a job like any other and none of us like things that make our jobs harder so maybe because you are obese she treated you differently to anyone else.

I would make a complaint in writing to the hospital.

Out of interest why was your husband not in the room with you?

I was given pictures by my consultant @15 week scan and by the midwife at my anomaly scan and she gave me one for the big sister and grandparents as we met them there to mind her.

1st pregnancy i only got pictures at then anomaly scan.

Toots

You poor thing, that sounds awful. I'd be upset too, if I were you. I'm on the heavy side and so self conscious about it especially now that I'm pregnant. I was really nervous before my scans because I was worried that they wouldn't be able to see things properly because of my weight. Any time I've been in for the scan and I've had to be poked a little bit extra they've been really apologetic and making sure I'm ok. Sometimes it's been slightly uncomfortable, but certainly never painful.

I've had quite a few scans because I had a scare at the very start, so I got one at 5 weeks, a follow up at 8 weeks, one at 13 weeks when I first met my consultant, then another at about 16 weeks when I had to go in cos I was getting pains, the 22 week anomaly scan, and one at 26 weeks at my consultant check up and another when I was unexpectedly admitted to hospital last weekend possibly in pre-term labour On every one of the scans the doctors/midwives have shown me the baby, and pointed out his heartbeat and told me everything is fine. I got pictures at the 5, 8, 13 and 22 week scans. The very early ones are kinda pointless cos you can only see a blob but they said it would be nice to have them. I think it all depends on who you get on the day. I've been lucky so far in that everyone I've dealt with has been absolutely lovely, but I'm sure there are a few bad ones out there too and you were unfortunate enough to get one.

The other thing about the diagnostic hospital scans is they're usually dealing with huge volumes of patients so may not be able to spend as much time letting you look as you'd like. Still no excuse for being rude though. I'd recommend booking a private scan, that way you'll have lots of time to look at baby and some of them even give you a little dvd to bring home so you'll be able to watch all you like. Depending on where you live, and if you have insurance, some clinics have a deal with certain insurers that you either get a discount or can claim back some of the cost. And as Moonbeam said, write in to the hospital and complain, it's not fair that you were made to feel that way.

deman

I can't understand why you would need another's permission to let the father share the same experience. Who is she to deny that right? As a father of four, it was an automatic assumption that I'd be there holding my wife's hand, and I was every time. Write a letter of complaint about this cow right away! I wouldn't worry too much about the condition of your baby. If anything was seriously wrong, I'm sure they would do a 3D scan.

Betsy18

Cottontail wrote: »

aw betsy18, that sounds like you had a horrible experience! My issue would be more with the attitude of the sonographer rather than not seeing the baby, she sounded very rude. Would you lodge a complaint with the hospital?
As someone else mentioned, you could get a private scan if you would like to see the baby again, those 3D ones are meant to be really good!
At least you know the baby is healthy and normal measurements, so focus on that and hopefully it will help

Yes it was more about her attitude that upset me most! of course i would have loved to see my baby and maybe i was a bit nieve thinking i would get a pic and it would be the same as the first scan but i havent experienced this before so didnt know what to expect. i'm going to complain to my consultant and ask to be referred to the ultrasound unit for my future scans. i will have to get scanned more often as i have gestational diabetes but i dont want to experience this again!

Betsy18

Moonbeam wrote: »

It is a job like any other and none of us like things that make our jobs harder so maybe because you are obese she treated you differently to anyone else.

I would make a complaint in writing to the hospital.

Out of interest why was your husband not in the room with you?

I was given pictures by my consultant @15 week scan and by the midwife at my anomaly scan and she gave me one for the big sister and grandparents as we met them there to mind her.

1st pregnancy i only got pictures at then anomaly scan.

Hi Moonbeam,

that is the way i was made feel by her, that i was taking up too much of her time! i understand she has a job to do but a bit of communication would have made such a difference! my bump feels all bruised since the scan as she poked and really dug into my tummy in places!

They don't allow your partners to go into the scan with you, they do their measurements and then when they have all finished they go out and take them in for 5 mins to show us the baby on screen! i think we are going to get a private scan as we both felt really disappointed afterwards. we are relieved that our baby is healthy but it was the treatment that has upset us.

Betsy18

Toots* wrote: »

You poor thing, that sounds awful. I'd be upset too, if I were you. I'm on the heavy side and so self conscious about it especially now that I'm pregnant. I was really nervous before my scans because I was worried that they wouldn't be able to see things properly because of my weight. Any time I've been in for the scan and I've had to be poked a little bit extra they've been really apologetic and making sure I'm ok. Sometimes it's been slightly uncomfortable, but certainly never painful.

I've had quite a few scans because I had a scare at the very start, so I got one at 5 weeks, a follow up at 8 weeks, one at 13 weeks when I first met my consultant, then another at about 16 weeks when I had to go in cos I was getting pains, the 22 week anomaly scan, and one at 26 weeks at my consultant check up and another when I was unexpectedly admitted to hospital last weekend possibly in pre-term labour On every one of the scans the doctors/midwives have shown me the baby, and pointed out his heartbeat and told me everything is fine. I got pictures at the 5, 8, 13 and 22 week scans. The very early ones are kinda pointless cos you can only see a blob but they said it would be nice to have them. I think it all depends on who you get on the day. I've been lucky so far in that everyone I've dealt with has been absolutely lovely, but I'm sure there are a few bad ones out there too and you were unfortunate enough to get one.

The other thing about the diagnostic hospital scans is they're usually dealing with huge volumes of patients so may not be able to spend as much time letting you look as you'd like. Still no excuse for being rude though. I'd recommend booking a private scan, that way you'll have lots of time to look at baby and some of them even give you a little dvd to bring home so you'll be able to watch all you like. Depending on where you live, and if you have insurance, some clinics have a deal with certain insurers that you either get a discount or can claim back some of the cost. And as Moonbeam said, write in to the hospital and complain, it's not fair that you were made to feel that way.

Aw Toots i'm so sorry to hear your having a tough time of it! i really hope everything goes well for you from now on.
I thought it would be easier to see the baby as it gets bigger but it seems not! she really bruised my bump from digging the scanner into my tummy. i was so upset afterwards, we had planned this great day of seeing our baby was ok and then going buying some baby items together but her attitude really put a dampener on the day! im going to speak to my consultant about her and get referred to another ultrasound area for my future scans! i will have to get scanned more often now as i have developed gestational diabetes so i dont want to see her face again!!

good luck with your pregnancy, i really do hope it starts to improve for you!

Betsy18

deman wrote: »

I can't understand why you would need another's permission to let the father share the same experience. Who is she to deny that right? As a father of four, it was an automatic assumption that I'd be there holding my wife's hand, and I was every time. Write a letter of complaint about this cow right away! I wouldn't worry too much about the condition of your baby. If anything was seriously wrong, I'm sure they would do a 3D scan.

i think it is awful the way fathers are treated!my poor husband nearly died when i walked out of the room and burst out crying, he didnt know what to think! he was so disappointed as he was really looking forward to seeing babs again!

Toots

That's strange that they don't allow the dads in! A tip one of the midwives gave me is to make sure you're well hydrated when you go in because it can make the images clearer etc. I'm not sure whether or not it works cos I'm always trying to keep hydrated cos pregnancy has made me have my own personal summer, but it couldn't hurt! Best of luck with the rest of the pregnancy, try to put this bad experience out of your mind and focus on all the good things.

Moonbeam

I only had one big scan on both and the others were just in the consultants room,my partner was at both of the big scans and my now 2 year old came to nearly every appointment with me.
I have to say I would have a problem with him not being allowed in.

January

What hospital are you attending OP? My partner was at all scans bar one on number one and that was only because he couldn't get the time off work as it was short notice because they though the baby was too small... so my mam came with me for that and on number two we had one big scan and lots of mini scans with the consultant so he was at the big one, always thought it was a given that your partner was allowed in...

liliq

I'd be the same as you- very upset at being treated like that! No need for anyone to be rude.
I've been lucky and had at least a quick scan for all my appoitments in the hospital bar my booking appointment, and my partner has been at every one of them.
I didn't even think to ask if it was ok if he came in or not! I just assumed baby- daddy would be welcome... not too crazy an assumption I would think!
The girl who did my anamoly scan even delayed starting for a few minutes because my partner had been slightly delayed leaving work and was a few minutes late for the appointment- she was completely understanding, patient and lovely, and "of course it's not a problem" to wait a few minutes for him.
I'd have been really upset if he missed any of it!
It's definitely worth mentioning to your consultant- even just to clarify what is normally allowed etc., and then if the person who scanned you that time was out of line in the way she treated you I'd consider making a complaint. Health care workers in maternity units and hospitals deal with pregnant women every day, so it might not be a special thing for them but it really is for the mammys and daddys to be!!

Ayla

I completely agree that no one needs be rude, but as it's possible I may have had the same radiologist in the same hospital, I can back up that partners/husbands aren't allowed in during the initial part of the scan.

I only had one scan for each of my daughters, and my husband waited outside for the majority of each. They checked over my 2nd preg in greater depth b/c my first daughter had kidney reflux from birth, and for this scan a consultant came in. Only after that was all done was my husband allowed in.

Personally this wasn't a problem for me - the space is tight and the radiographer is there to do a job, not to entertain all the excitment of the parent's moment. I craned my neck to see the images on screen - not the most ideal, obviously, but that way I could see everything going on. Once all the measurements were done the radiographer turned the monitor toward me fully, invited my husband in, and talked through everything we saw.

Don't get me wrong, bedside manners are very important, but your techician was trying to do her job. She was most likely poking & prodding so hard b/c she couldn't get a proper image, not b/c she wanted to hurt you. You mentioned the consultant eventually came in, did s/he have to push as hard to get the images?

I can completely understand why you'd be disappointed, but complaining and/or demanding anything won't get you anywhere. I would explain to your consultant what happened, even register a complaint against the radiographer's people skills, but don't be expecting any special treatment (through further scans, etc). The equipment and skilled labour to require them are insanely expensive, and they can't be doling them out just b/c a patient was disappointed. You baby is healthy, concentrate on that.

Betsy18

Ayla wrote: »

I completely agree that no one needs be rude, but as it's possible I may have had the same radiologist in the same hospital, I can back up that partners/husbands aren't allowed in during the initial part of the scan.

I only had one scan for each of my daughters, and my husband waited outside for the majority of each. They checked over my 2nd preg in greater depth b/c my first daughter had kidney reflux from birth, and for this scan a consultant came in. Only after that was all done was my husband allowed in.

Personally this wasn't a problem for me - the space is tight and the radiographer is there to do a job, not to entertain all the excitment of the parent's moment. I craned my neck to see the images on screen - not the most ideal, obviously, but that way I could see everything going on. Once all the measurements were done the radiographer turned the monitor toward me fully, invited my husband in, and talked through everything we saw.

Don't get me wrong, bedside manners are very important, but your techician was trying to do her job. She was most likely poking & prodding so hard b/c she couldn't get a proper image, not b/c she wanted to hurt you. You mentioned the consultant eventually came in, did s/he have to push as hard to get the images?

I can completely understand why you'd be disappointed, but complaining and/or demanding anything won't get you anywhere. I would explain to your consultant what happened, even register a complaint against the radiographer's people skills, but don't be expecting any special treatment (through further scans, etc). The equipment and skilled labour to require them are insanely expensive, and they can't be doling them out just b/c a patient was disappointed. You baby is healthy, concentrate on that.

Hi Ayla,
I understand she was doing her job and had to get the correct measurements but i feel she could have been a little nicer about it. the consultant did come in and took some measurements and did not prod me as hard and when she did have to put pressure on it she told me beforehand and it was nothing compared to what the other one had done. i am going to talk with my consultant at my next visit and ask to be referred to the ultrasound section which is near the maternity ward for future scans. don't get me wrong i am so relieved and delighted that my baby is healthy but i did feel hard done by after my scan! i would have understood more if they were busy but there was nobody else waiting for scans so she had time to take!
thanks for your advice!

deeduck48

hi betsy,
thats absolutely unbeleivable that he wasnt automatically there anyway, some hospitals have some cheek i had my first 3 scans in CUMH (cork), in bith the early preg unit and the normal unit, and have had 2 scans since we moved to limerick a few weeks ago.
CUMH is brand new, staff were excellent and there was never a question about OH coming in, sonographer showed us all the parts of the baba was a lovely experience.limerick is old, old machines but the staff are just as nice as cork, even when i was rushed in with sharp pain 6weeks ago, sonographer took time and even showed us baba's face.:D:D In my experience in both hospitals, one old, understaffed and always packed (limerick) and the other, quiet and new and well staffed( Cork)there is absolutely no excuse for the staff to behave like this.

your poor OH, mustve nearly died when he saw you emerge after such a long time so upset.

SarahC11

on my 1st scan the doc was really nice my boyfriend and my ma and aunty came in for a look! on my 2nd (the big scan) my bf was with me it was all good got pics and all that but my 3rd appointment in the hospital the doc just used a heartbeat thing and when i asked if i was getting a scan she told me no i would get no more scans unless there was a problem, she was also very smart with me about a glucose test i asked why do i have to get it and she just basically said i have to its free so why not! then on my 4th appointment the doc gave me a quick scan (a few seconds to find heartbeat)so i dont know what to expect next time! my bf comes into the room with me all the time though i never had an issue where he was asked not to

metrovelvet

I think that is upsetting, I'd be upset too.

I had a 22 week scan in the Rotunda. Nice lady and I got one photo. Then I was back in the US and they insisted on doing another scan since they didnt have the results of the Rotunda and the US gave me about 40 scan pictures and it took 2 hours and three practitioners saw me!