should i contact this guy?

countryliving

hi,i visit a seaside town every couple of weeks as i have a free house to use (which is great). visited there 4 weeks ago was introduced to a guy will refer to him as mr.J.had a great night but @ the end of the night we didnt get a moment alone and we didnt even get to kiss but we spoke for hours (we were at an after pub party). anyhow, i was in this town again at the weekend, was pleasantly surprised met mr.J again.

eventually, i was sober we drove back to the house (had a girl friend staying) and we spoke for about 8 hours and went for breakfast together and parted company at 11.30am. i am confident but get v.shy if i like a guy - i heard he is shy as well and he was apologising as he is overweight - like i care - i am attracted to this guy and i told him he is grand. i think he lacks confidence. the conversation was all about; coming upto where i live places to go.....we know lots of people in common. i gave him lots of compliments...i was very relaxed. he told me i made an impression on him and god he must have realised i was so interested in him. i brought him back to the house! but - we didnt kiss he did stand in front of me and i just got shy instead of just grabbing him or at least touching his shoulder or something! at the start of the night we did manage to exchange numbers. he was saying stuff like; would i have to buy you a christmas present..i'll introduce you to my friends....i wont be going to mass with you...

the question is; should i get in touch with Mr.J? should I just give up? I am in my late 30s and he is 2 years older. i would feel more comfortable if Mr.J contacts me..... i just like to see if we had a few dates would it work out. i just want to know. if i can explain - i dont want to have to be going to this town again and hoping i'll bump into him. but guys like to chase though....? he has'nt text me - he could easily have text asking am i tired. i would love to text him and just say - "i had a great time with you, believe it or not i am very shy & i was hoping you'd have kissed me!!!" - i dont want to make an eijid out of myself either........id feel a fool if we met out again and he had rejected me. also, i was so exhausted i started saying silly things. at the end of breakfast he said he wishes he could read between the lines. in some ways i was reserved and i felt surely i brought him back to the house surely that is enough - he must know im into him! i never took my eyes off him.
@ the end i dropped him back to his folks house and he said i'll be talking to you. my heart dropped after all he said suggesting we would meet again and how this was the start ....... i blame myself as i should have jumped in on his suggestions.
part of me feels i blew it as - i should have sat closer to him on the couch...and he wont contact me anyhow...

anyhow...if only this romance stuff was simple.

Asphyxia

You should just text him, what's the worst that could happen From you post he seems to like you and he gave you his number so you could text him! He wouldn't have given it you if he didn't

Send him a text and see how it goes. It doesn't matter if you're in you 30's or 40's you are as young as you feel

Miss Fluff

He sounds a little lacking in confidence so you DEFINITELY need to take the bull by the horns. Send him a lovely text saying you'd like to see him again and if he doesn't respond I shall personally go and buy a very ostentatious hat and eat it

countryliving

thanks for the replies........:) i have to try and pluck up the courage to text him now....i am so chatty and friendly but in affairs of the heart - useless.when i was dropping him back to his house (hes just moved back in2 his folks house) i was talking creap...i am afraid of rejection - i go out in this town every couple of weeks and running into him again after i texting him ah id die a death.. i am afraid of making an eijid of myself or being too forward. guys like a chase???? :cool: play it cool.....the way we were talking all night it was just like the start of a relationship like we are into doing the same stuff.ah it was lovely.

Miss Fluff

If you keep the tone of the text light and casual there doesn't have to be any embarrassment were he to spurn your advances (which is SO not going to happen by the way ) Send him a text saying you'll be in the area again and because you'd such a nice time with him last time you would love to meet up and will he be free. Friendly but not too full on

Neyite

Text him.
My OH was very wary when we first got together, (previous bad breakup) deffo a nice text is the way to go.

We started off sending a little howya, hows your day going kind of thing, and it progressed to him finally texting that he wished he kissed me the night we met, so I texted back that I wish he did too. We arranged to meet for our first proper date a couple of weeks later. Aaand the rest is history.

I'm all :D:D here now remembering back to it.

Textual relationship gets the +1 from me!

LegacyUser

countryliving wrote: »

he was saying stuff like; would i have to buy you a christmas present..i'll introduce you to my friends....i wont be going to mass with you...

Christmas is six months away. Why is he asking you 'Would I have to buy you a Christmas present?'. How does he know he'll still be going out with you by Christmas? You've only met twice! He also sounds stingy by asking that, and also lacking in social skills.
Same for 'I won't be going to mass with you'. What sort of thing is that to say to a woman he's only seen twice?

This is a lot to take on from someone you've just met. He's thinking six months ahead already. The two of you haven't even kissed! Sorry OP, it looks like this isn't going to go anywhere. These things need to be taken slowly, it takes a long time to get to know someone, I'd run a mile from a guy I'd just met if he started planning six months ahead.

Eve_Dublin

nregistered wrote: »

Christmas is six months away. Why is he asking you 'Would I have to buy you a Christmas present?'. How does he know he'll still be going out with you by Christmas? You've only met twice! He also sounds stingy by asking that, and also lacking in social skills.
Same for 'I won't be going to mass with you'. What sort of thing is that to say to a woman he's only seen twice?

This is a lot to take on from someone you've just met. He's thinking six months ahead already. The two of you haven't even kissed! Sorry OP, it looks like this isn't going to go anywhere. These things need to be taken slowly, it takes a long time to get to know someone, I'd run a mile from a guy I'd just met if he started planning six months ahead.

I think the man was joking, in fairness. How could you read that and presume he was serious???

OP, get in touch with him. You've nothing to lose. Life is short. You only live once etc. Let us know how you get on.

countryliving

yeh i would agree the stuff about christmas and mass yeh i dont take that seriously i mean in fairness i said a lot of silly stuff like i wouldnt be getting into bed with him for 6 months and i didnt mean that. we were talking for 8 hours!! this is a headwreck. hes a real country man solid a real man and i wouldnt think hes too skilled in the area of romance. i was surprised he mentioned his weight as i honestly fancy him and dont care.
i am nervous of texting him. i feel couldnt he text me...he could just send me a text! :cool: if he wanted.
after all - i did say to Mr.J; you only live once life is not a dress rehersal and all the rest. couldnt mr.J send me a text or something?
on top of all this ive been having problems with my mobile service provider so im cancelling the contract so i wont have a mobile set up for a couple of days - i wont have a phone! ive to drop the phone into the shop in the morning.
Mr.J is friendly with one of my brothers very good friends. and his aunt lives a few miles away from here.
we parted company on sunday - would he not just text..
thanks everyone for advice - it is a drama all this romance stuff!

Miss Fluff

countryliving wrote: »

thanks everyone for advice - it is a drama all this romance stuff!

To be fair I don't see where the drama is, it sems very straightforward. You're building this up in your head. Yes he could text you but it would seem apparent from your posts that he is inherently lacking in confidence. He might need a further green light from you to know you're interested, in order to do that you just need to send a text when you get your phone back. And don't FFS be getting elderly aunts to do your dirty work, just text the man.

LegacyUser

I think you should text him it sounds to me that he likes you. I recently texted a guy i had met previously and he texted me back and all is going well. I say go for it

Roselm

Text him text him text him.;)


You obviously get on if you talked for that long so even just think of a text as a text to a friend and then see what he replies and take it from there.
I think from what you said he's waiting for you to text just as you are him.

countryliving

thank you for your replies - just trying to psyche myself up to text him...