How to take it Slow

edenbridge146

Well looking for a bit of advice

Met a really nice guy and have had a few dates

He wants to take it slowly.
Texts every couple of days and we meet every 10 days as he has mad shift work. I'm currently off work for the summer!
I am so not used to this and normally rush in only to find later it all ends in disaster.

How slow is slowly????

I am a friend

That seems very slow considering you are free so much.. It would not rush into sleeping with him until I had my own head/ heart square about him. That sounds v casual

Miss Fluff

I think there's a lot to be said for taking it slowly, especially if one of the parties has been burnt or is a little scared of committing to something they are not sure of. Meeting every ten days seems VERY slow though - that's three days a month.

I wouldn't be rushing into bed with him either.....

I am a friend

And I would keep dating other people as well

Justask

If I was in this situation next time a meet up was suggested by him i'd be "busy"

"if this was me" in other word MY OPNION

Corkblowin

Justask wrote: »

If I was in this situation next time a meet up was suggested by him i'd be "busy"

Don't do this!! Things are hard enough on the dating scene without game playing. Next time he's on & suggests a meet - if you're available and you'd like to - then do it. Same with the possibly sleeping with him (which I know you didn't bring up OP) but if YOU want to and you realise that it may not result in the relationship moving any faster - I don't see why not - once you're doing it because it's your choice & not because you feel you have to.

The guy appears to have a busy schedule, we all have to take whatever work we can these days, but as the others suggest, if you're happy to carry on with the arrangement (for now) then do so, but be open to dating others if it arises. You don't owe this guy anything yet.

As for your question as to how slow is slow - I've started seeing a great lady but because of her circumstances (divorced mom of 2 kids) the only time we get to see each other for any length of time is on Friday nights - so 4 times a month - although we have been able to manage an hour for coffee another night a week recently. Peoples circumstances dictate the time they have available for a new relationship, however hopefully as things progress & look like it could be something substantial then lives can be altered to cater for the relationship. It's up to you if you feel the potential is worth the wait.

Good luck!

edenbridge146

Well he works for the Guards
And recently they've had restrictions with time off (due to queen visit and Obama) and then he was on a week of nights. He actually took a night off so we could go out together.
Now i'm off on hols tomorrow for a week
Not had sex with him. Stayed a night and was intimate but that was it.
As he said getting to know each other and becoming 'comfortable' with each other

Justask

edenbridge146 wrote: »

Well he works for the Guards
And recently they've had restrictions with time off (due to queen visit and Obama) and then he was on a week of nights. He actually took a night off so we could go out together.
Now i'm off on hols tomorrow for a week
Not had sex with him. Stayed a night and was intimate but that was it.
As he said getting to know each other and becoming 'comfortable' with each other

Would you not ask him what he meant when he said "take things slow"?

I am a friend

Proceed with care....

The guards I believe have a 5 day on, 2 day off schedule so only being able to meet every ten days doesn't seem reasonable to me.

i would tread carefully here op, the guards had restrictions for one week due to those visits. they have days off during the week, and probably should be able to manage meeting more than once every 10 days or so.

why did he say he wants to take it slow? or how exactly did the conversation come up? it doesnt seem to me to be the type of conversation that comes up after one or two dates, maybe it is, just seems very intimate after a short period of time.

maybe he is a very honest guy who wants you to know early on how he feels, and i hope so for you, but i would want to know his reasons for taking it slow if i was you, not deep down gory details, just a general outline!!

best of luck