I am Completely Addicted to Sex

Sexaa

I am 22 year old male and I am pretty sure I am a sex addict. I've had a lot of sex with a lot of different women and absolutely am obssessed. I always use protection and get tested every 2-3 weeks and so far I have been fine but I feel it is destroying my life in other ways.

I can not go out with my friends anymore because I always end up bringing a woman home. For some young men that might seem like a dream but it got to the stage where so many people were talking about it that it was even getting to my sisters that I was a male slut and my reputation was being ruined.

So first a little bit about myself. I model, I am athletic, well off and have no problem getting women. This makes my problem even worse because when I go to a nightclub I can always pull. I honestly don't know when the problem started but I would quess around 16 when I lost my virginity to a 30 year old married woman in London. Ever since then I have had to have sex at least every 3 days and am completely crazy about in particular married women.

I lust for married woman and have bed so many of them but its never enough. I have had girlfriends and broken their hearts when I cheated but I just cant control myself.

I've taken the first step, ive stopped going out but now I find myself scouring websites looking for NSA sex. I am absolutely raging for sex right now and I am very tempted to go out with my friends. I know I have a huge problem, honestly I feel awful if I dont have sex like I get really cranky and irritable.

SparkyTech

Hi OP

Sexaa wrote: »

I am 22 year old male and I am pretty sure I am a sex addict. I've had a lot of sex with a lot of different women and absolutely am obssessed. I always use protection and get tested every 2-3 weeks and so far I have been fine but I feel it is destroying my life in other ways.

First things first, Keep using protection and getting tested.

I can not go out with my friends anymore because I always end up bringing a woman home. For some young men that might seem like a dream but it got to the stage where so many people were talking about it that it was even getting to my sisters that I was a male slut and my reputation was being ruined.

Can you find activities with a friend or select group of friends that doesn't involve alcohol/nightclubs pubs/large social gatherings for a while? If you are placing yourself in situations where you are likely to feel ''broody'' (for want of a better word), you need to remove yourself from those situations till you feel you have your compulsions under control. To say you cant have a few lads over to watch a filim/pizza or go to the cinema for fear of seducing a woman seems a bit extreme imo.

Nothing wrong with having sex, but when you are doing it on such a large scale that word is getting back to your sisters, I would question what the motivation/trigger is behind you getting to the stage of ''male slut''. I imagine it might stem from the encounter you had at 16. Either way, whatever the root cause of your behavior, its something to be worked through with a professional councilor.

So first a little bit about myself. I model, I am athletic, well off and have no problem getting women. This makes my problem even worse because when I go to a nightclub I can always pull.I honestly don't know when the problem started but I would quess around 16 when I lost my virginity to a 30 year old married woman in London. Ever since then I have had to have sex at least every 3 days and am completely crazy about in particular married women.

I lust for married woman and have bed so many of them but its never enough. I have had girlfriends and broken their hearts when I cheated but I just cant control myself.

Sorry to be harsh OP but good looks will fade and wealth doesn't compensate for personality. Women may be enamored to you at first by this but in the long run what sustenance are you building relationships on if only from an encounter in a nightclub?

Have you considered the feelings of these women whose hearts you have broken? How they might have felt? The other persons shoes?. I understand you feel you have an addiction but saying ''I just cant control myself'' is a total cop out for a man of 22.

I've taken the first step, ive stopped going out but now I find myself scouring websites looking for NSA sex.

Stopping going out but then going straight on the internet looking for the same thing is not going to solve your problem.

I am absolutely raging for sex right now and I am very tempted to go out with my friends. I know I have a huge problem, honestly I feel awful if I dont have sex like I get really cranky and irritable.

You have to want to truly change your behavior in order to take the first step. You can seek out all the help and support from the interweb/family/friends/therapist etc but in the end it is down to you to find the will to change things.

Best of luck

gosuckonalemon

Have a ****

Otis Driftwood

gosuckonalemon,if you cannot add anything constructive to threads then do not post them.I also advise you read the charter before posting here again.

TommyTippee

This is a nonsense. Should have been closed from the start. It makes light of real issues posted on this forum and is a disgrace.

Silverfish

TommyTippee wrote: »

This is a nonsense. Should have been closed from the start. It makes light of real issues posted on this forum and is a disgrace.

Banned, 7 days.

Not like there isn't enough warnings in the charter and stickies at the top of the forum.

King of Kings

OP gets tested every 2 -3 weeks?

firstly not even people in the porn industry get tested that regular and secondly with all those swabs going down your japs eye how can you be in the humour for sex at all.


I disbelieve the OP is genuine

Sexaa

I am genuine. I stayed in tonight, i would like serious advice if thats alright.

Sexaa

SparkyTech wrote: »

Hi OP



First things first, Keep using protection and getting tested.



Can you find activities with a friend or select group of friends that doesn't involve alcohol/nightclubs pubs/large social gatherings for a while? If you are placing yourself in situations where you are likely to feel ''broody'' (for want of a better word), you need to remove yourself from those situations till you feel you have your compulsions under control. To say you cant have a few lads over to watch a filim/pizza or go to the cinema for fear of seducing a woman seems a bit extreme imo.

Nothing wrong with having sex, but when you are doing it on such a large scale that word is getting back to your sisters, I would question what the motivation/trigger is behind you getting to the stage of ''male slut''. I imagine it might stem from the encounter you had at 16. Either way, whatever the root cause of your behavior, its something to be worked through with a professional councilor.




Sorry to be harsh OP but good looks will fade and wealth doesn't compensate for personality. Women may be enamored to you at first by this but in the long run what sustenance are you building relationships on if only from an encounter in a nightclub?

Have you considered the feelings of these women whose hearts you have broken? How they might have felt? The other persons shoes?. I understand you feel you have an addiction but saying ''I just cant control myself'' is a total cop out for a man of 22.



Stopping going out but then going straight on the internet looking for the same thing is not going to solve your problem.




You have to want to truly change your behavior in order to take the first step. You can seek out all the help and support from the interweb/family/friends/therapist etc but in the end it is down to you to find the will to change things.

Best of luck

Great response, I am going to bed now (alone thankfully!) i will respond tomo if thats ok,

up for anything

Get involved in some sport (cycling) that will tire you out at least a few evenings a week and leave you no energy for thoughts of sex.

mikemac

Join the athletics forum and go long distance running.
You'll be sore, tired and fit for bed but also working towards a goal

And you'll be so tired you won't be boasting here in the early hours

Sexaa wrote: »

if I dont have sex like I get really cranky and irritable.

JFK the serial adulterer claimed the same, go read a book about him

gosuckonalemon

Otis Driftwood wrote: »

gosuckonalemon,if you cannot add anything constructive to threads then do not post them.I also advise you read the charter before posting here again.

Sorry, I didn't think this guy was still being taken seriously.

Bit of a coincidence that another new member signed up with similar issues on the same day does anyone think?

<snip>

Ickle Magoo

gosuckonalemon given a weeks holiday for failing to heed the mod warning and read the forum charter.

Please take the time to read the [URL=" http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056181484"]forum rules[/URL] in the charter and abide by them.

Goldenegg

Be very very careful. You don't want a knock on your door 9 months down at the line! If your really that worked up about it and get very tempermental, I would take a trip to your gp and have a chat. It may be embarrassing but it would be the first step in helping you!

Nody

Step 1 recognise that it is an addiction (done)
Step 2 get some professional help to deal with it

You can't cure it yourself (well unlikely) so get an appointment with a psychologist even if it feels odd. You have already noted it is affecting your life in a negative way and it is not exactly going to get better if someone's husband come knocking about it...

Now having a high sexual drive is NOT a disease or something but from your description it is a compulsive need and that indicates that something else is going on here.

Sexaa

SparkyTech wrote: »

Can you find activities with a friend or select group of friends that doesn't involve alcohol/nightclubs pubs/large social gatherings for a while? If you are placing yourself in situations where you are likely to feel ''broody'' (for want of a better word), you need to remove yourself from those situations till you feel you have your compulsions under control. To say you cant have a few lads over to watch a filim/pizza or go to the cinema for fear of seducing a woman seems a bit extreme imo.

Well yeah we do that in the day time but 4 nights a week my friends will be out (we are students) and I don't want to be staying in on my own.

Sorry to be harsh OP but good looks will fade and wealth doesn't compensate for personality. Women may be enamored to you at first by this but in the long run what sustenance are you building relationships on if only from an encounter in a nightclub?

For one night stands, wealth/charisma/looks or a one, all or a combination of the three will always get you a one night stand. Im not looking for relationships after what I've done to previous girlfriends.

Have you considered the feelings of these women whose hearts you have broken? How they might have felt? The other persons shoes?. I understand you feel you have an addiction but saying ''I just cant control myself'' is a total cop out for a man of 22.

I have but I feel you are completely scoffing at the idea of a sex addiction. Its a recongised illness.

Stopping going out but then going straight on the internet looking for the same thing is not going to solve your problem.

I cant help it, its better than going out because at least on the internet the chances of meeting an attractive woman that night for sex are almost nil.

You have to want to truly change your behavior in order to take the first step. You can seek out all the help and support from the interweb/family/friends/therapist etc but in the end it is down to you to find the will to change things.

Best of luck

thank you

Sexaa

mikemac wrote: »

Join the athletics forum and go long distance running.
You'll be sore, tired and fit for bed but also working towards a goal

And you'll be so tired you won't be boasting here in the early hours




JFK the serial adulterer claimed the same, go read a book about him

I train rugby 4 times a week and on my off days I usually run 5k at the gym. I also train everyday at the gym without fail. I get tired but I still want sex.

Sexaa

gosuckonalemon wrote: »

Sorry, I didn't think this guy was still being taken seriously.

Bit of a coincidence that another new member signed up with similar issues on the same day does anyone think?

<snip>

I didnt even see that there was another thread with a similar issue.

Sexaa

Nody wrote: »

Step 1 recognise that it is an addiction (done)
Step 2 get some professional help to deal with it

You can't cure it yourself (well unlikely) so get an appointment with a psychologist even if it feels odd. You have already noted it is affecting your life in a negative way and it is not exactly going to get better if someone's husband come knocking about it...

Now having a high sexual drive is NOT a disease or something but from your description it is a compulsive need and that indicates that something else is going on here.

I've done some bad things. Sometimes I do something to make sure the husband will find out. Like I leave a condom in his bedside drawer when the woman isn't looking or as well I have taken a pic of me in the bed on the wifes phone (minus the face) when the wife is in the bathroom and sent it to the husband. I dont stick around to see what happens but obviously im destroying marriages, i dont know why but really pretty wifes are a huge thing for me. I also like girlfriends.

Nody

Sexaa wrote: »

I've done some bad things. Sometimes I do something to make sure the husband will find out. Like I leave a condom in his bedside drawer when the woman isn't looking or as well I have taken a pic of me in the bed on the wifes phone (minus the face) when the wife is in the bathroom and sent it to the husband. I dont stick around to see what happens but obviously im destroying marriages, i dont know why but really pretty wifes are a huge thing for me. I also like girlfriends.

See a professional; you need help and I mean that in a positive way (destructive behaviour is not normal but would indicate you may be surpressing something etc.).

Truley

King of Kings wrote: »

OP gets tested every 2 -3 weeks?

firstly not even people in the porn industry get tested that regular and secondly with all those swabs going down your japs eye how can you be in the humour for sex at all.

It usually takes at least fourteen days to get results back from an STI examination. I find it hard to believe you get them done so frequently without a doctor making an issue of it. Especially since it's extremely time consuming and involves taking blood.

So let me get this straight, no sooner do you get the results back from your test and you are looking for another one within days? Where do you even get the time? :rolleyes:

Sexaa

the results take 2-3 weeks. Hence when I get called in for results I demand another test. I am very paranoid about getting checked up because in 2-3 weeks I may have as many as 10 partners.

I would like people to stop questioning this, if u dont believe me then just dont reply. Im a student ive plenty of time

beks101

I feel for you in a way OP, as all the symptoms of addiction are there, but you have one of the greater taboos when it comes to addiction and it's one that many people scoff at or disbelieve. I guess because most people love sex, especially young people, and will get laid at any opportune moment, so it's hard to believe how wanting lots of such an enjoyable, natural act can be an addiction.

But like any addiction, yours is borne out of low self-esteem, impulsivity, the need for control etc and it's functioning to keep you from dealing with your emotions and addressing your real problems. It's good that you've recognised it's a problem, but now comes the hard part - you need to actively do something to fix it. And staying in every night for the rest of your life isn't it. You need professional help, so I'd suggest the next time you head along for an STI test you ask the GP for a referral to a good psychologist.

It's time for you to take responsibility for yourself, because while it all may seem like 'fun and games' now, you stand to lose a lot - what if you contract something that's not easily curable, or knock up one of these women, what if one of these married women's husbands catches you? What if your standard one-night stand stops working for you and you need something harder, more risky, more dangerous? Where does the book stop? People aren't stupid either, so while now you may be getting slaps on the back from the lads, you can be sure the stupidity and impulsivity of your behaviour is affecting your reputation and could rule you out of many personal, social or even professional situations down the line.

Deal with this now. Now is probably the hardest, but most crucial step in the life cycle of your addiction and could be the difference between going through another ten years of this, or developing healthy relationships and living a happy, fulfilled life.

Sexaa

beks101 wrote: »

I feel for you in a way OP, as all the symptoms of addiction are there, but you have one of the greater taboos when it comes to addiction and it's one that many people scoff at or disbelieve. I guess because most people love sex, especially young people, and will get laid at any opportune moment, so it's hard to believe how wanting lots of such an enjoyable, natural act can be an addiction.

But like any addiction, yours is borne out of low self-esteem, impulsivity, the need for control etc and it's functioning to keep you from dealing with your emotions and addressing your real problems. It's good that you've recognised it's a problem, but now comes the hard part - you need to actively do something to fix it. And staying in every night for the rest of your life isn't it. You need professional help, so I'd suggest the next time you head along for an STI test you ask the GP for a referral to a good psychologist.

It's time for you to take responsibility for yourself, because while it all may seem like 'fun and games' now, you stand to lose a lot - what if you contract something that's not easily curable, or knock up one of these women, what if one of these married women's husbands catches you? What if your standard one-night stand stops working for you and you need something harder, more risky, more dangerous? Where does the book stop? People aren't stupid either, so while now you may be getting slaps on the backs from the lads, you can be sure the stupidity and impulsivity of your behaviour is affecting your reputation and could rule you out of many personal, social or even professional situation down the line.

Deal with this now. Now is probably the hardest, but most crucial step in the life cycle of your addiction and could be the difference between going through another ten years of this, or developing healthy relationships and living a happy, fulfilled life.

Thank you!!!

Yes I am mostly worried about professional opportunities down the line. Since last night I put up some photos and have already got loads of offers of dates from some attractive women (suprised to see any on dating sites!). I've also added a few women on facebook and after chatting one of them wants to meet tonight. Now im not going to, I told my bro he could use the car tonight to stop me driving out to her but this is what im up against.

I am getting reallly cranky, my family try to talk to me and i just snap at them. i feel like punching the wall. **** does nothing im still frustrated.

As for the husband thing, yes I had very close call with Polish pyschopath who got suspicious of txt messeges. He was big steroid head and when she was getting out of car he snuck up and tried smash my window with his fist (duno how it didnt break) so im aware of the dangers.

beegirl

I knew a guy (friend of my hubby) who sounds just like you - i think he must have tried it on with every one of his friends' wives/gfs, not to mention every other woman in town... He had 2 kids with 2 different women in the few years while he lived here (and he already had at least 3 from different women elsewhere - this is all before he hit 30). Then he up and left the country... Im sure he's doing the exact same thing somewhere else now! Do you really want to go down that road???

SparkyTech

Sexaa wrote: »

I have but I feel you are completely scoffing at the idea of a sex addiction. Its a recongised illness.

Just to clarify, I am not berating you or disbelieving you have an addiction, but im urging you to take control of it before it takes a hold of you and you fall into the ''I cant help it'' mode on autopilot.

up for anything

Sexaa wrote: »

Well yeah we do that in the day time but 4 nights a week my friends will be out (we are students) and I don't want to be staying in on my own.

A pity about you. If you were serious about wanting to get a handle on your problem you wouldn't be cribbing about staying in on your own. No addiction is easy to kick and putting obstacles in the way yourself isn't going to get you anywhere.

I cant help it, its better than going out because at least on the internet the chances of meeting an attractive woman that night for sex are almost nil.

Sexaa wrote: »

have already got loads of offers of dates from some attractive women (suprised to see any on dating sites!)

As for the husband thing, yes I had very close call with Polish pyschopath who got suspicious of txt messeges. He was big steroid head and when she was getting out of car he snuck up and tried smash my window with his fist (duno how it didnt break) so im aware of the dangers.

I would hazard a guess that sexual addiction is but the tip of your problem. What would worry me more if I were you is that your attitude towards people in general is pretty nasty. Give it enough time and you'll be trawling for Jeremy Kyle show leftovers because you'll have earned yourself a reputation and not for being promiscuous but for being malicious and unkind. It seems like it's well past time for you to get some sort of therapy to help you. There is lots of help out there.

Sex addiction therapy in Ireland - google links

http://www.addictivebehaviours.com/

http://www.ireland.localslaa.org/about

http://www.independent.ie/lifestyle/are-you-addicted-to-sex-1419911.html

http://www.independent.ie/lifestyle/independent-woman/love-sex/love-is-the-drug-for-sex-addicts-1599566.html

http://www.counsellingdirectory.ie/video-guide/video-guide-9

booboo88

King of Kings wrote: »

OP gets tested every 2 -3 weeks?

firstly not even people in the porn industry get tested that regular and secondly with all those swabs going down your japs eye how can you be in the humour for sex at all.


I disbelieve the OP is genuine

go for counselling?

wasper

Sexaa wrote: »

I am 22 year old male and I am pretty sure I am a sex addict. I've had a lot of sex with a lot of different women and absolutely am obssessed. I always use protection and get tested every 2-3 weeks and so far I have been fine but I feel it is destroying my life in other ways.

I can not go out with my friends anymore because I always end up bringing a woman home. For some young men that might seem like a dream but it got to the stage where so many people were talking about it that it was even getting to my sisters that I was a male slut and my reputation was being ruined.

So first a little bit about myself. I model, I am athletic, well off and have no problem getting women. This makes my problem even worse because when I go to a nightclub I can always pull. I honestly don't know when the problem started but I would quess around 16 when I lost my virginity to a 30 year old married woman in London. Ever since then I have had to have sex at least every 3 days and am completely crazy about in particular married women.

I lust for married woman and have bed so many of them but its never enough. I have had girlfriends and broken their hearts when I cheated but I just cant control myself.

I've taken the first step, ive stopped going out but now I find myself scouring websites looking for NSA sex. I am absolutely raging for sex right now and I am very tempted to go out with my friends. I know I have a huge problem, honestly I feel awful if I dont have sex like I get really cranky and irritable.

I dont see it as a problem. You are only young once. If you enjoy the chase than the sex then it's a problem. But I don't see it here. The women seem to throw themselves at you & it's not a crime.
The only problem I see, is your fear of commitment. Thats' why you love married women. Because they just want sex & won't hang around & pretend to be GF.
When you get older & you can't function like now you will look at those days fondly.
So don't feel guilty just be careful of catching diseases.

I am a friend

Nope he needs, because he has no self esteem to 'score' women to make him feel good about himself. The harder (and bring married, in his mind
) makes it more of a challenge for him because he feels a bigger 'win' as they are choosing him over their partners.

The reality here is a little boy lost who is so insecure, the only way he can feel anyway good about himself, even for a very short while is to pull women.

LegacyUser

So you are a student? So obviously you study/do projects? You train for rugby 4 nights a week, and run 5k once a week? You get tested every 2/3 weeks? Between all the daily mundane stuff, where do you actually find the time to go out and pull these women?

Sexaa

Fine. instead of believing me and helping me everyone is just putting doubt on my stories. Those who do believe me are just making malicious comments. Great help, ive been to a counsellor by the way. It seems for many sex addiction doesnt exist. thanks a lot

Sexaa

I am a friend wrote: »

Nope he needs, because he has no self esteem to 'score' women to make him feel good about himself. The harder (and bring married, in his mind
) makes it more of a challenge for him because he feels a bigger 'win' as they are choosing him over their partners.

The reality here is a little boy lost who is so insecure, the only way he can feel anyway good about himself, even for a very short while is to pull women.

Can i ask why you feel the need to have a go at me like that? I get with women because i have urges not to feel good about my self and im not insecure.

A Plague On Both Your Houses

Sexaa wrote: »

Can i ask why you feel the need to have a go at me like that? I get with women because i have urges not to feel good about my self and im not insecure.

I dunno about that. The married women thing is your main problem. The above poster has a good point, no matter how harsh he/she puts it.

LegacyUser

Op, I don't know if you have thought about it but the fact that you work out at the gym everyday might be in some way responsible for your higher sex drive.
I'm not a medical doctor and I'm not sure what the current line of thought on it is but I found when I worked out everyday (muscle building in line with particular diet) that my sex drive went through the roof...and I'm speaking as a female of the species. I actually thought I was suffering from PSAS as I was constantly stimulated and ha a tendency to jump into bed whenever the opportunity arose. I also encountered a lot of other hormonal problems after 6mths and after medical advice had to give up for a while. I'm not as bad as I used to be three months down the line althgouh if I'm being honest I do miss the high.
I also think that maybe it's just because you're young and a lot of it just boils down to the initial realisation that you have the opportunity to have random sex and you are taking it because you can, risks and all. Once you start respecting yourself you might find it easier to respect a woman too and will start putting things in order for yourself.

beks101

Sexaa wrote: »

Can i ask why you feel the need to have a go at me like that? I get with women because i have urges not to feel good about my self and im not insecure.

Sexaa I actually think IAAF's post was one of the most insightful on here yet, even if it's not what you want to hear.

Your sex addiction is just that - an addiction - it's hardly based on good, strong emotional health. There's something at the root of it. It's not just about you having a high sex drive. Lots of people have a high sex drive, they don't all feel the need to have sex so often that bi-monthly STI tests are necessary, or intentionally stop themselves from going out for fear that they'll lose control, or interfere with marriages to get their rocks off. Those are the actions of an addict and like most addictions, low self-esteem most likely plays a big part.

People drink/eat/use/gamble/shop etc in excess to numb their emotions, to self destruct, to experience a temporary high at any risk, to deal with crippling self esteem or past trauma and any number of biological, environmental and physical reasons. It is impulsive behaviour where the addict gives up conscious control and sex addiction is no different. Your impulsive need to have sex is just the tip of the iceberg. There's a lot more happening beneath the surface and until you start to address these issues, your problem is not going to get any better. Addiction is a progressive disease so it's not a stretch of the imagination to say that without help, it's only going to get worse.

theg81der

I don`t mean this to sound funny but is this not just normal - your athletic, health, young and attractive. Is this not just a sign of a viril healthy young person? When did it become "wrong" to want sex all the time?

The only concern I would have is - do you want to fall in love and have a relationship? Otherwise this is kind of destructive to yourself although probably normal "sew your wild oats" kind of thing. I always think - what would the animals, such as apes, do or be doing?... I know people don`t like this but take away our verbal communication, we are animals I believe and our behaviour is such (no matter what we say). Maybe your just the dominant young male, maybe looking any deeper is just a fruitless exercise.

I think its something to do with the blood rushing round your body, strong circulation, increased bloodflow or something. I have this problem I`m driving my husband insane but I`m not responsible for my bodies reactions. I can`t help thinking its natures way of saying "come on time to procreate".

I am a friend

The reason for my post was as a response to op's statements that he actively goes after attached women. That's more to do with emotional issues than the need for sexual fulfilment IMHO

up for anything

Sexaa wrote: »

I've done some bad things. Sometimes I do something to make sure the husband will find out. Like I leave a condom in his bedside drawer when the woman isn't looking or as well I have taken a pic of me in the bed on the wifes phone (minus the face) when the wife is in the bathroom and sent it to the husband. I dont stick around to see what happens but obviously im destroying marriages, i dont know why but really pretty wifes are a huge thing for me. I also like girlfriends.

theg81der wrote: »

Maybe your just the dominant young male, maybe looking any deeper is just a fruitless exercise

That could well be it. The dominant young male looking to humiliate his sex partner's partner and his sex partner as well and possibly destroy their lives. I wonder whether any of the people he has been involved with directly or indirectly have harmed themselves as a result of his secondary need to get off on knowing that he has set the cat amongst the pigeons.

There is a pretty big difference between the urge to procreate and the urge to leave chaos in your wake.

A Plague On Both Your Houses

up for anything wrote: »

That could well be it. The dominant young male looking to humiliate his sex partner's partner and his sex partner as well and possibly destroy their lives. I wonder whether any of the people he has been involved with directly or indirectly have harmed themselves as a result of his secondary need to get off on knowing that he has set the cat amongst the pigeons.

There is a pretty big difference between the urge to procreate and the urge to leave chaos in your wake.

Yeah, I won't lie. He may be ruining families. Not that the OP is 100% the blame, but he is to blame.

Tbh, I think you need some counselling.

Splendour

theg81der wrote: »

I don`t mean this to sound funny but is this not just normal - your athletic, health, young and attractive. Is this not just a sign of a viril healthy young person? When did it become "wrong" to want sex all the time?

The only concern I would have is - do you want to fall in love and have a relationship? Otherwise this is kind of destructive to yourself although probably normal "sew your wild oats" kind of thing. I always think - what would the animals, such as apes, do or be doing?... I know people don`t like this but take away our verbal communication, we are animals I believe and our behaviour is such (no matter what we say). Maybe your just the dominant young male, maybe looking any deeper is just a fruitless exercise.

I think its something to do with the blood rushing round your body, strong circulation, increased bloodflow or something. I have this problem I`m driving my husband insane but I`m not responsible for my bodies reactions. I can`t help thinking its natures way of saying "come on time to procreate".

Agree with theg8lder here. I don't think wanting sex 'at least 3 times a week' at the age of 22 equates to being a sex addict! The problem here is far deeper than the sex act itself. It has to do with power and control and only you can address this if you genuinely think you've a problem...

up for anything

A Plague On Both Your Houses wrote: »

Yeah, I won't lie. He may be ruining families. Not that the OP is 100% the blame, but he is to blame.

Tbh, I think you need some counselling.

It is neither here nor there who is to blame and where what percentage of the blame lies.

The point is what kind of person takes a photograph of himself in a compromising position for a second person and then sends that photograph to a completely innocent third party. Imagine how you would feel on receipt of such a photo and then try to imagine what sort of feelings the OP experiences on receiving a delivery report after sending that MMS. I can't. Why does the OP feel the need to deliver such a coup de grâce to what was probably a pleasant interlude in bed?

The OP seems to be feeling sorry for himself and says he had been to a counsellor. What sort of help did you receive from the counsellor? Did he/she give you any methods of trying to curb/bring to an end your addiction?

theg81der

Come on your being a wee bit hard on the OP, he`s 22 ffs. If a married woman cheats SHE`S the one who is married not the OP, he probably just finds older, more confident women attractive and they happen to be the ones who are married because the ones who aren`t married at that age are "desperate and scary" as I`ve heard some male friends comment.

They are also more sure of themselves in the bedroom and this is attractive to a lot of men. If I cheated on MY husband it would be MY fault and most probably mean something was wrong with MY relationship. The other guy would be irrelevant if I was going to do it regardless. OP are these women approaching you? Do they tell you they are unhappy in their marriages? Or do you not find out till afterwards?

Logical Fallacy

King of Kings wrote: »

OP gets tested every 2 -3 weeks?

firstly not even people in the porn industry get tested that regular and secondly with all those swabs going down your japs eye how can you be in the humour for sex at all.


I disbelieve the OP is genuine

One of the main indicators that someone is actually a "sex addict" is an inordinate amount of time and resources spent preparing for or recovering from the act...and obsession with STI checks would actually fall into the catargory of indicators that someone is genuine.

up for anything

Sexaa wrote: »

I have had to have sex at least every 3 days and am completely crazy about in particular married women.

I lust for married woman and have bed so many of them but its never enough. I have had girlfriends and broken their hearts when I cheated but I just cant control myself.

Sexaa wrote: »

I've done some bad things. Sometimes I do something to make sure the husband will find out. Like I leave a condom in his bedside drawer when the woman isn't looking or as well I have taken a pic of me in the bed on the wifes phone (minus the face) when the wife is in the bathroom and sent it to the husband. I dont stick around to see what happens but obviously im destroying marriages, i dont know why but really pretty wifes are a huge thing for me. I also like girlfriends.

theg81der wrote: »

Come on your being a wee bit hard on the OP, he`s 22 ffs. If a married woman cheats SHE`S the one who is married not the OP, he probably just finds older, more confident women attractive and they happen to be the ones who are married because the ones who aren`t married at that age are "desperate and scary" as I`ve heard some male friends comment.

They are also more sure of themselves in the bedroom and this is attractive to a lot of men. If I cheated on MY husband it would be MY fault and most probably mean something was wrong with MY relationship. The other guy would be irrelevant if I was going to do it regardless. OP are these women approaching you? Do they tell you they are unhappy in their marriages? Or do you not find out till afterwards?

I think you can see from the blue highlighted portions above that the OP lusts and is completely crazy about married women (to use his own words) and they are a huge thing for him.

The scary bit, in bold, is that he realises that he is destroying relationships by intend and on purpose.

I'm not saying that it is his fault married women and girlfriends cheat on their partners with him. That is neither here nor there and I don't judge them or him for that - in my opinion, monogamy is a crock of ****e. A lot of people betray their relationships but unless one of them goes bonkers with an eventual rejection they don't purposely go all out to destroy their ex-partner in cold blood like the OP does and he doesn't even have the excuse that his emotions are involved. I don't see how you can defend him by saying that he is young, sowing his wild oats, sees married women/other men's girlfriends as more confident in bed and less likely to want to trap him into a relationship. I have seen threads in various forums trying to get a fix on the face of evil. To me, what he is doing is evil because it cannot be justified in any way and he is not defending it on any grounds.

He has said that counselling didn't work but I posted a number of links. I'd be curious to know, OP, if you contacted any of them. Sometimes a particular counselling or method of counselling doesn't work for someone and then it is necessary to try another counsellor or method.

Sexaa

I've just woken up, I did it again. I did contact links but counselling doesn't work. I spent 200euros last night wining and dining a wife in order to secure the bed, not only is it an addiction, it is a costly addiction. I dont always inform the husband but sometimes I love the rush of letting the partner know. You must remember that sometimes husbands willingly let me **** their wife in front of them, its happened a few times.

Do I feel bad? yes, but i dont feel right unless I do it. If I dont have sex often I feel like im not functioning right. I feel like I cant play rugby or converse or do anything

theg81der

Ok are you on some of the sex websites or something? if your not you probably should be. If you genuinely get pleasure out of seeing some guys heart ripped from his chest - there is something wrong with that. What exactly do you enjoy about it?

up for anything

theg81der wrote: »

Ok are you on some of the sex websites or something? if your not you probably should be. If you genuinely get pleasure out of seeing some guys heart ripped from his chest - there is something wrong with that. What exactly do you enjoy about it?

What are you on about?


OP, what is the problem with having lots of sex in a semi-steady/fuck buddy non-destructive relationship? Is it sex you are addicted to or the thrill of sex with numerous partners or the danger linked to sex with attached women?

mikemac

One of these days a husband is going to beat you to a pulp.

Since this forum is about giving advice, I think this post fits that.
Just a matter of time, especially with the numbers you're getting through

Sometimes I do something to make sure the husband will find out. Like I leave a condom in his bedside drawer when the woman isn't looking or as well I have taken a pic of me in the bed on the wifes phone (minus the face) when the wife is in the bathroom and sent it to the husband. I dont stick around to see what happens

I dont always inform the husband but sometimes I love the rush of letting the partner know

Cruising for a bruising

theg81der

up for anything wrote: »

What are you on about?


OP, what is the problem with having lots of sex in a semi-steady/fuck buddy non-destructive relationship? Is it sex you are addicted to or the thrill of sex with numerous partners or the danger linked to sex with attached women?

What do you mean what am I on about? I basically said the same as you I said he should look at alternatives ie websites and asked him what about it got him of?

Katy89

Sexaa wrote: »

I've just woken up, I did it again. I did contact links but counselling doesn't work. I spent 200euros last night wining and dining a wife in order to secure the bed, not only is it an addiction, it is a costly addiction. I dont always inform the husband but sometimes I love the rush of letting the partner know. You must remember that sometimes husbands willingly let me **** their wife in front of them, its happened a few times.

Do I feel bad? yes, but i dont feel right unless I do it. If I dont have sex often I feel like im not functioning right. I feel like I cant play rugby or converse or do anything

this is really bad:eek:.

OP, the question I have: do you really WANT to change something? I'm not too sure about it, you still sound as if you in a way like what you're doing and you've not gotten to the stage you'll suffer enough.
I actually think you might want/will end up in a situation where there's physical damage involved, if it's you or somebody else...do you want to let it go that far?

I strongly recommend you are looking for professional help. but you need to WANT that. counsillors can't help people who are not open to let themself help.
and you might not want to hear it, but you might need to take medication as you're very compulsive. it is good sometimes for a while to take meds to get off a difficult stage and when you experienced a relief the chances are high you stay in that mood.

good luck!